World's Most Powerful Lady Mingles With Peasants, Cures Disabled
Our sassy FLOTUS stirred up somecontroversy last week when she stopped on the South Side of Chicago to cast an early vote, and then whispered to a bunch of people that they better vote Democrat, or else. This made some people angry, because they thought maybe it violated an Illinois state law (or not),) and also because everyone knows that Michelle Obama can, with her words and her giant accessories, force Americans to do all sorts of things they would otherwise avoid, like voting a certain way, or exercising. She has super powers, our FLOTUS, and she used them just a few days prior to the voting non-incident to freak out a bunch of strangers.
Last Tuesday, Michelle Obama got bored of force-feeding broccoli to America’s obese children and decided to wander aimlessly through the White House, greeting a suspiciously diverse crowd of visitors that included an Italian lady, some disabled folks, and a toddler boy wearing a cape.
In this exciting FLOTUS footage, we learn that Sasha and Malia want to move to Italy, which is very unpatriotic of them, no? The Angry Grizzly Lady will probably love this news, because in her White House, no one would set foot on foreign soil, unless it’s for the television. But taking a look at this video, it seems that our FLOTUS is the one who really deserves her own teevee show. For starters, she clearly has a brilliant casting director. Or do you have to audition now, to get a tour of the White House? Also, everyone loves her sidekick dog, Bo. He can probably do more tricks than Sarah Palin’s sidekick children. Couldn’t you watch Michelle and Bo hug children and talk to deaf people together, for hours? [Condé Nast Traveler]
Blair Burke (firstname.lastname@example.org) obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move for "The FLOTUS Files," which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.