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World's Most Powerful Lady Mingles With Peasants, Cures Disabled

News

Our sassy FLOTUS stirred up somecontroversy last week when she stopped on the South Side of Chicago to cast an early vote, and then whispered to a bunch of people that they better vote Democrat, or else. This made some people angry, because they thought maybe it violated an Illinois state law (or not),) and also because everyone knows that Michelle Obama can, with her words and her giant accessories, force Americans to do all sorts of things they would otherwise avoid, like voting a certain way, or exercising. She has super powers, our FLOTUS, and she used them just a few days prior to the voting non-incident to freak out a bunch of strangers.


Last Tuesday, Michelle Obama got bored of force-feeding broccoli to America’s obese children and decided to wander aimlessly through the White House, greeting a suspiciously diverse crowd of visitors that included an Italian lady, some disabled folks, and a toddler boy wearing a cape.

In this exciting FLOTUS footage, we learn that Sasha and Malia want to move to Italy, which is very unpatriotic of them, no? The Angry Grizzly Lady will probably love this news, because in her White House, no one would set foot on foreign soil, unless it’s for the television. But taking a look at this video, it seems that our FLOTUS is the one who really deserves her own teevee show. For starters, she clearly has a brilliant casting director. Or do you have to audition now, to get a tour of the White House? Also, everyone loves her sidekick dog, Bo. He can probably do more tricks than Sarah Palin’s sidekick children. Couldn’t you watch Michelle and Bo hug children and talk to deaf people together, for hours? [Condé Nast Traveler]

Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move for "The FLOTUS Files," which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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