World’s Only Republican Meghan McCain Wishes Betsy DeVos Was Better At Being Evil
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos declared last week that we must send kids back to school in the fall, even during a pandemic. Donald Trump's own experts claim this is the “highest" risk for spreading COVID-19 and reported "noticeable gaps" in the K-12 reopening plans. For instance, while symptom screening is mentioned, the specific symptoms included in the screening aren't "clearly identified." There's also little to no information regarding the protocols schools will follow if students, faculty, and staff members have symptoms or if schools must close after a significant number of positive tests.
DeVos has no plan to keep students and faculty safe. She insists there's no "single solution," but we're reasonable folk. We'd take four or five different solutions. Children's lives are at stake.
Now let's move on to the most important issue of all: Meghan McCain is very disappointed in Betsy DeVos, but it's not because DeVos wants to send children and teachers to their deaths. She's just not very good at selling Americans on sending children and teachers to their deaths.
"The View" kicked off its Monday show with a discussion of DeVos's slow-motion train wreck interviews this weekend. Sunny Hostin correctly said we haven't handled this pandemic in a way that makes it safe to reopen schools. Whoopi Goldberg, who was wearing a tiara because she's Whoopi and deserves it, asked McCain her opinion, which is always a mistake but it's probably written into Goldberg's contract.
MCCAIN: Well, first and foremost on that point, Betsy DeVos needs major media training if she's going to have a job like this in the administration during a pandemic. I don't know if I have ever seen someone at that level be worse in interview.
Behar laughed in her virtual face, and that pissed off Megs who was all like "this is serious shit." Yes, the situation is serious. It's McCain's point that's idiotic. DeVos's problem isn't "media training." She's a grown-ass Education secretary. This is like saying Frankenstein needed media training to smooth things over with the villagers after all those murders. Media training, executive coaching ... rich white people receive all kinds of remedial education when they suck at something. The rest of us just get fired.
Shortly after DeVos spat stupid on Lesley Stahl during a "60 Minutes" interview, McCain vented about how “frustrated" she was that DeVos was blowing their noble crusade against public schools.
MCCAIN: I think there are ways we can have better spokespeople explaining our ideology and it is endlessly frustrating to see someone who's in charge of this go on TV in front of Leslie Stahl and basically say, "I don't know anything about my home state." [...] I don't know if she doesn't know or if she choked.
She doesn't know. She's real dumb. Did Megs forget about the grizzlies?
Betsy DeVos Cites Grizzlies Over Guns in Schools Question www.youtube.com
DeVos hasn't gotten any smarter over the past two years, and it's making Megs McCabe real mad! She's just a simple country heiress who's never attended a public school herself but wants to see public schools gutted. Why can't DeVos do her part and at least act like she attended school at some point? Sorry, but I'm not RSVPing to McCain's pity party because the public head of her evil cause is a moron.
McCain eventually just started whining, which ABC apparently believes is worth almost a million a year. She claimed, without evidence, that Democrats are "moving goalposts" on reopening schools. She suggested, most stupidly, that if they "could figure out how to open theme parks, they could figure out how to open schools." Maybe Megs was riding the teacups during math at her fancy pants private school, but normal people school is nothing like Disney World.
Joy Behar and McCain yelled at each for a while, as they do, until Whoopi broke it up. Megs complained about how “exhausting" it was to come on the show and have liberals be mean to her. Dodging the coronavirus in an Amazon warehouse is exhausting. McCain works five hours a week. She insisted she's performing some public service because she's the "only Republican in mainstream media." That's an absurd lie, of course. Fox News is an abomination but it's still mainstream. McCain herself rubbed Rachel Maddow's nose in Fox's better ratings. Hell, Tucker Carlson's ratings are higher than "The View's." She should see if he'll accept a cohost.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).