World's Smallest Violin Dept.
And you thought you had it rough on Inauguration Day. Kenneth E. and Dottie Boring (who were bit players in a Dan Clowes book), found themselves watching the inauguration from the Willard, despite the fact that they were "Republican Eagles," a GOP fundraising group whose members donate at least $15K a year. They blamed long lines on the demonstrators. Said Mr. Boring: "They need a new law for these protesters: 'You cross the line, you do the time.'" We understand their frustration: What's the point of buying a president if he won't indefinitely detain the people you find offensive?
All of them, we mean.