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Worst Hero EMT Ever Refuses To Unleash Her Ta-Tas For Gravely Wounded Soldier

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Indeed, Private Emily Tomkins, a British medic lass serving in Afghanistan, carried a soldier who'd just lost both legs to safety -- but did she unbind her heaving bosoms and grant him a life-saving peeksie?


A WOUNDED squaddie who had just lost both legs in a Taliban bomb blast begged a medic to show him her boobs — to help relieve his agony.

Private Emily Tomkins refused, but saved his life earning a bravery award for her heroics in Helmand, Afghanistan.

Emily, 21, initially gave the man a shot of morphine, but explained she could not risk giving any more despite his agony.

Then he said: “Well do something useful and show me your boobs.”

DO SOMETHING USEFUL TOMKINS.

Alas, our "hero" did not do something useful, unless you count carrying the "squaddie" to safety. But does that even count, really? Besides the science fact that it is obviously a lie, since some douche on Twitter says that if your Editrix (who is 5-foot-2, 40 years old, sits for 14 hours a day, and smokes) cannot carry a man to safety in wartime, then no women should see combat. You can not argue with logic like that! It is the very essence of Math Science of Words!

So enjoy your "medal," Private Tomkins. Nice job heroing! IN OPPOSITE LAND.

[TheSun, via Gawker]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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