Worst Psychiatrist Ever Keith Ablow Blames Gun Control Agenda On Sad Orphan Obama
So here is America's Worst Psychiatrist, Fox's Dr. Keith Ablow, explaining to Lou Dobbs his deep insight into Barack Obama's pathological obsession with taking guns away: the President still suffers from his feelings of abandonment from his childhood, so he seeks to have the government run everyone's lives as some sort of surrogate family, a parent, perhaps, or an older sibling, let's say, a kind of..."Big Brother" figure. As Ablow says, the real issue is everything but guns, and why don't people recognize this? Possibly because they are all psychologically deranged as well!
Using the same keen insight into the human psyche that has helped him recognize the threat posed by boys playing with dolls (or maybe the greatest threat is mothers who let their boys wear toenail polish), and to proclaim that Newt Gingrich's irresistible sexual magnetism would make him wildly popular with women voters, Ablow agreed with Dobbs that, despite living in The Freest Nation On Earth, Barack Obama just cannot seem to accept that Real Americans want to be autonomous and shoot bad people themselves with as many guns as they can. Why is this? It is because Barack Obama is a broken human being:
Ablow added that “the autonomy of others did [Obama] no favors as a kid, when he was abandoned again and again by people who were — quote, unquote — ‘responsible’ and supposed to do the right thing like parents. So his belief is: ‘You know what? What good is individual autonomy in decision making? What good did it do me? The collective is what needs to be empowered, and all the better if I am the center of that collective and the most powerful person in it.’”
“His solution runs psychologically in the direction of disempowering the individual every single time,” Ablow said, before concluding that “restoring the mental health system” and gun control laws are “diametrically opposed” because one empowers the individual through psychotherapy while the other “disempowers” them and limits their ability to defend themselves.
Ablow also explained that the real cause of all the shootings these days is untreated mental illness, because we have dismantled our mental health care system. He neglected to mention that much of the dismantling occurred under Ronald Reagan... Nor did he mention that the community-based mental health services that were supposed to accompany deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill was never funded (because Small Government)...nor a recent statement by a representative from the American Psychiatric Association that "96% of violent crimes are perpetrated by people who do not have mental disorders." Ablow also apparently wants to "restore" our mental health care system without actually getting the government involved, because he has predicted that any government involvement in the provision of healthcare "infantilizes" people and will inevitably lead to riots. So maybe a robust system of private mental care will save us, and crazy poor people will just see good sense and work harder so they can afford treatment before they shoot up a school or something...
We are going to just suddenly end this post right now, because it occurs to us that we have actually thought more about the stupid things Keith Ablow said than he did while preparing to say them. Instead, here is Chuck Jones' dramatic reenactment of the youth of Keith Ablow.
Little Keith Ablow: I'm going to be a ps-sychiatrist when I grow up. Or maybe a ps-sycho-annimalist.
Younger brother: I'm going to be a roadrunner. Beep beep ZIP bang!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.