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"Well shoe horns and suck a penis, Wonkette, but how do I even use that form, and what will happen to me if I do? Does it involve my box?" These are your thoughts right now. And the answer is that it's the Wonkette newsletter, which contains adorable baby pictures of the adorable Wonkette baby, and extra jokes and promotions and special fun sexxxytime lovenotes, and also it helps you keep up with the biggest stories you might have missed because you were washing your clam that day, which for the purposes of this post, is different from a box. Wonkette is not offering to be in your clam every morning.

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Anyway, fucking sign up. We only send one email a day, on most of the days of the week, and if you're not on The List then you're not our BFF anymore and you're never going to get asked to prom, the end.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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