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NewsApril 09, 2016 12:30 PM
Wyoming Democrats: Hop On Your Buffaloes, It's Caucus Day!
Typical Wyoming car.
These are the things we know off the top of our head about Wyoming:
- It is where the gross Cheneys live.
- It is where Yellowstone is! We've heard that whole area is a big super volcano thingamabob and if it blows, BYE WYOMING, and probably bye a bunch of other people too. You guys make sure you keep that thing under lock and key!
- Wyoming has the following towns in it: Cheyenne, Laramie, Casper and Jackson Hole. There are no others.
- But Jackson Hole is super nice like $$$.
- Well there are very few people in Wyoming, and maybe that's why one of the state's nicknames is "Big Wyoming."
- And there are even fewer Democrats in it, because it's a very RED state.
- But the eleven or ninety-five or maybe even a few thousand Democrats who live there are doing their votey vote thing today, in a fundamentally stupid and undemocratic "caucus"! So 'sciting!
- All those Democrats need to go outside early Saturday morning to feed and water the family buffalo-mobile, so they can get to the caucuses. They start at 11 AM sharp, in local time! More info here.
- According to Bustle, "[I]t's hard to say exactly who has the advantage in the polls heading into Wyoming, because there really aren't any." Sad! But Bernie's been campaigning there and he does good at caucuses so he'll probably beat Hillz. Unless he doesn't.
- The state dinosaur is the Triceratops, because duh what's more Wyoming than that? So, Wyoming Dems, if your family driving-buffalo is at the mechanic or the vet, perhaps you may ride to the caucus on your state dinosaur, which, again, is the Triceratops.
Those are all the things we know about Wyoming. Have fun caucusing, and the rest of youse may consider this your open thread.
This is a "Triceratops."