Y'all Getting Rowdy In Here?

Looks like time to hit the liquor store

Hi! It's me, Editrix. I hear you guys have been wilding in the comments, and generally sniping at each other like it is Twitter instead of the world's gentlest momblog, and that you maybe need a good nap and a stuffed bunny.

I don't have a nap for you, and our stuffed bunny's taken, but I figure here is a cocktail and I stole it from here. If you're a Friend of Bill, smoke some weed instead!

Noble Hostess calls this "The Griffith" for some uppity place in Los Angeles, but we call it a Golden Poppy because it feels like home. The recipe is SO EASY, but first you got some liquor to buy.

Look at Grand Poppy's ingredients, are you KIDDING ME, WHAT!

Organic California poppy, orange, lemon, grapefruit, bearberry, California bay leaf, pink peppercorn, dandelion, blessed thistle, burdock, rue, artichoke, gentian, geranium, cherry bark, cane sugar


Now take one part EACH:

Grand Poppy liqueur


lemon juice

simple syrup

and smash up three slices of cucumber*

*Fuck it, just use cucumber vodka instead.

Shake them with ice, and don't drink anything else all summer or ever again.

Because you guys, we are all so tired. We're all exhausted. It feels like they're winning, and we're losing hope, and we're taking it out on each other and ourselves. And we can't. We have to go out in the sunshine, and breathe, and drink a lovely beverage and pat a cat or a dog or a child or a husband on the head. Have some sex if you can stand it. Watch some (non-politics) TV if you can't. Get a massage. Take a walk. Be in touch with your body and look at the moon.

Because we're not going to make it if we're turning on each other -- and that goes quinfuckingtuple for Bernie v. Hillz. Nice things have happened yesterday and today! The courts are with us! Primaries turnt out as fuck! Michael Cohen WILL go to jail, and our hearts WILL go on!

In the meantime, be gentle, Terrible Ones. Because 50 people canceled their Wonkette accounts in May, and since I don't want to worry that they lost their jobs or we just suck now, Ima have to blame you.

Stay gold

Drink up, cheers, we love you, NOW BREATHE and have your OPEN THREAD!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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