You have a loved one who LURVES YOUR WONKETTE. Buy them some shit straight from our basement! Nota bene: We are shutting down our basement factory right after Christmas, so if you wanted some presents from us anytime in the first half of the year, please to buy it ahead of time, hide it in your garage, and then forget not only where you hid it, but also what you bought. Now you are a Schoenkopf, you lucky bastard you.


FACE MASKS.

There's a new Nu in town. Time to get more face masks. They come with a filter, they fit well, they do NOT have adjustable ear loops; when we replenished our supply of blank masks on Etsy, they're the kind you see in the Biden Harris New Dawn masks, like so.


Biden Harris New Dawn.

Kamala: I'm Speaking.

Ruth Ginsberg: I Dissent.

All Votes Matter.

Now you are protected.

COFFEE CUPS!

We have all the coffee cups in the world, you should click through to see them! $19.99 includes free US shipping, or you can get two for $35, because we love you and want to sell some cups. (The five bucks will come off automatically in your cart.)


Aren't those nice! Don't you want them all!

SHOT GLASSES!

Why don't we get drunk and ...

tee hee just kidding OR AM I? The girls are sleeping in our Shawnee, Oklahoma, Holiday Inn Express (it's terrible), and Shy's gone back to my mom's to pick up the laundry we gifted her and forgot to snatch back, and I am feeling a little punchy maybe.


Oh I love those shot glasses! They're $14.99 and include US shipping, or they're $27 for a Joe/Kamala superduo!

HATS!

Hats are on super-sale, $23 for all three caps. The red impeach hats make you look like a MAGA and people will think you want to PEACH JOE BIDEN. You could give it to your brother in law if you want.

STICKERS!

This is where all the sticker are.


APRONS!

Make like Kamala and be a HOT CHEF COMIN' THROUGH! (Have people pretend to be furious that when you were in Paris, you bought a pan.) There are lots of options here that you can't find in the main store I think, unless you search "aprons."


T-SHIRTS AND LONG-SLEEVE SHIRTS AND ALSO TANKS IT LOOKS LIKE!

It's so poorly organized and I've been putting off fixing it for so long, maybe I will do that sometime in the first half of the year, but it's like, what do you want me to do, edit posts or fix the bazaar? Write thank you notes for keeping us going forever, or fix the bazaar? Roast a nice chicken and clean my house and maybe go to a garage sale, or fix the bazaar? I KNOW RIGHT???

So you can buy long-sleeve men's or women's white shirts with Kamala or Joe or RBG or Liz Warren or Barack or your cast of thousands. Or you can buy black or white tanks (women's only) with any of the above. Or you can buy men's or women's black or white T-shirts with all of the above, plus some others. I don't know, look around at that link. Also there are panties.



TOTE BAGS!

There are tote bags.


ONESIES!

Did you have a baby? Well put some clothes on that thing!


GAMES!

Please, I am begging you, get these games out of my house. First thing you do, and I am serious, is open it up and throw away the Trump card. We made him too powerful and too impervious to any kind of normal anything, I guess because we are psychic and understand everything about human psychology except why they are like that. You do not want him ruining your game (or your nation).

Now you have done all your holiday shopping. Thank you. We love you. If you're STILL going to Amazon after all that, use this link.

There are no other posts today, OPEN THREAD IT.

[Wonkette Bazaar]

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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