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You Guys, We Are Starting To Worry About Fox & Friends' Brian Kilmeade

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First Tucker Carlson was all like "Hey join my Order of Christian White Knights" and Kilmeade was all like "nah mang, I'm cool" and now he is saying that the greatest scandal in the history of the LIEberal media is "not a big deal"? We are getting a terrible feeling that something is terribly, devastatingly wrong!

What could be the deal with Brian Kilmeade -- the squinty-eyed fratty one, who always seems to give off the scent of date rape? Here are some ideas!

  • He is boning a hippie chick like in one of those romantic dramas where she ends up dying of like non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and she is making him see that life is for living! (Also, he will end up best friends with a wisecracking pre-teen of color.)
  • Chinese fortune cookie curse makes him tell the truth.
  • There is some shit he will not eat. Haha just kidding, of course there isn't.
  • Fox is testing how its audience would respond if they decided to actually grow into a real live news outlet.
  • Ghost of Christmas Future.
  • Wants some Shep Smith-style Maddow love.
  • Body-snatched.

[MediaMatters]

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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