Young Black Conservatives Follow Candace Owens Up Donald Trump's Racist Ass
This past Friday was the second annual Black Leadership Summit -- proving that, like a Matrix sequel, there's nothing so disappointing that someone won't repeat it. Politico describes the summit as the "brainchild" of conservative collaborator Candace Owens. We won't swing at the easy ones. It's sponsored by Turning Point USA, which claims 400 people from across the country attended. You could probably find 400 vegans at a carnivore convention, but they are confused and need help.
Attendees such as Republican consultant RC Maxwell wanted to show the libs that conservatism isn't a whites' only club. Black conservatives can resent minorities and poor people just as well as their white peers. This is the 21st Century.
MAXWELL: The media narrative is that African-Americans don't support the president.
That's not a narrative. It's the result of pollsters asking black people what they think of Donald Trump. Our collective response is fairly consistent. But Turning Point USA founder and creepy young white guy Charlie Kirk wants to convince us to drink the mayo-flavored Kool-Aid.
KIRK: This is the herculean effort of the century. How can you get black America to think differently ideologically?
Donald Trump is a large turd floating in a public pool. Kirk wonders why black people aren't doing cannonballs. Do they not like swimming? How can conservatives convince black folks that swimming in shit is cool?
Owens introduced Trump before his Friday speech, blaming the "Democrat party" for everything wrong in the black community. The president would later describe Owens as "tough" and "beautiful." He "joked" that "the #MeToo generation" forbids men from calling women "beautiful." (It does not.) Owens returned the compliment with an extended tap dance of moral debasement.
OWENS: You know what? I was thinking ...
That's probably a lie, but it gets worse.
OWENS: Every single president that comes into office, after two years they look so much older. He seems to be the only president that's getting younger! He has somehow found the fountain of youth. I think he gets up out of bed – it's the fight. He loves the fight, he really does. We are so blessed.
This is so depressing. She's practically volunteering for some Sally Hemings action. Trump doesn't even have to offer to free her children ... eventually. He had her at hello. Mike Pence was also present for this shameless display, and it might've inspired the vice president to step up his own bootlicking game.
USA: Trump appeals to black voters at Young Black Leadership Summit in DC www.youtube.com
Owens declared that black conservatives won't let liberals impeach Trump on their watch. Because Donald Trump is the "one man standing up for black America." Here's a scary thought: What if she genuinely believes this? We're more comfortable mocking a common grifter than a woman with a genuine mental defect.
Trump started his speech by telling the black audience how noisy they were: "That is the loudest I've ever heard anything in this room. You just broke the record. Unbelievable." Then he reminded everyone where they all were: "This is a place. 1799 it was built.... It's the White House and we love it." He's off by a year but that's a minor quibble. More concerning was Trump referring to John Adams as the sixth president. According to HBO, Adams was the second. We guess he's confused Adams with his son John Quincy, who was the sixth president. They were both one-termers, so Trump has that in common with them.
Trump introduced Ja'Ron K. Smith, the White House staffer Kellyanne Conway once offered as an example of a black person doing serious work in the administration. He's obviously not that important to the runnings of the White House because Congress hasn't subpoenaed him. Trump said Ja'Ron is "so elegant and so quiet and so nice." This is how we'd describe a really good cappuccino maker.
TRUMP: But what he does and the job he's done on outreach and so many other aspects of our lives is incredible. I want to thank you, Ja'Ron. Thank you very much. I want to thank you for that. I appreciate it. Thank you.
It's still unclear what service Ja'Ron provides. Trump tweets paranoid rants about whistleblowers, but yet he doesn't demand detailed job descriptions from the people wandering the White House with spy cameras. Trump's speech eventually degenerated into a vicious screed against "Shifty Schiff" and "do-nothing" Democrats.
TRUMP: No one in America has been hurt more as a result of the Democrats' corrupt leadership and socialist policies than our nation's African American communities. It's true. That's true. It's true.
It's not true. Trump's own supporters don't believe it's true. They think Democrats have abandoned the "forgotten" white working class in favor of minorities, immigrants, and gays. Trump should start paying attention during his own rallies.
TRUMP: For a hundred years — for a hundred years, African Americans have gone with the Democrats. Has it worked?
There were two major jumps in black voters identifying as Democrats. The first was in 1948, after Harry Truman desegregated the military and appealed to Congress for more civil rights measures. The second was in 1964, after the passage of the Civil Rights Acts. These are big deals. We weren't just given coupons for free fried chicken and watermelon. But what do facts matter to Trump? This whole summit felt like an event in North Korea, where reality is altered to suit the ego of its mad leader. It's an alternate reality where Donald Trump is a champion for racial justice and black people love him more than Barack Obama.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).