Do you remember how you cried and cried during Obama's victory speech, particularly in the part about thousand-year-old civil rights hero Ann Nixon Cooper casting her vote for one Barry Q. Bamz? You can watch it right above, because we at Wonket are Not Afraid to Be Servicey!

Now, how would you feel if that civil rights hero's grandson, Michael Cooper, was filing a lawsuit against his used car lot employers for constantly calling him the "n-word," and threatening to shove his teeth down his throat for showing them in the presence of a white man, and paying other employees cash under the table to racially harass him so he would quit, and ordering him to tell other people that he was indeed the boss's n-word? Which he did? And that the other employees had testified they were being paid cash to harass him? Would you feel like Michael Cooper was cloggin' up the courts with his frivolous lawsuits? Would you feel like Michael Cooper should have been grateful he had a job in the first place? What if they'd already fired him and he didn't have a job? And then when he went to get unemployment, they fought him on it, saying he'd been let go for being "untruthful"? And what if the employer's opening salvo after being served with Cooper's lawsuit was to defame him in court as some kind of disgusting disability fraudster criminal, even though he wasn't? Who is the defendant's attorney, James O'Keefe? Congratulations, America, Everything Is Terrible!

Perhaps the saddest thing about reading through both plaintiff Michael Cooper's and defendant Michael Bell's court filings is how very fucking long Cooper put up with the (ALLEGED -- sure, why not) demeaning and humiliating treatment, once even going along with it when Bell took him to meet Bell's daughter's softball coach, and then once there, said, "Tell [the coach] you're my nigger." Cooper did. The coach did not laugh. Would you have laughed? You would not have laughed, presumably, because you are not a weird broken 1960s southern movie sheriff.

And how smart is Michael Bell to (ALLEGEDLY) pay other employees cash under the table to racially harass Michael Cooper so he would quit (that's per those employees' sworn testimony)? Wouldn't that seem to, we don't know, OPEN HIM UP TO A HUGE RACIAL DISCRIMINATION LAWSUIT? Is it possible -- we are just asking here! -- that Michael Bell is a fucking moron? Like, maybe it would have been a lot cheaper to just fire him and then pay the extra in unemployment insurance?

We've hosted a couple of the filings below; they're not hilarious, like Paula Deen's brother Bubba's bourbon in a Styrofoam cup. They're just America. Where's a targeted drone strike when you need one?


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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