Your Weekly Top Ten Can't Even With This Last News Week

OH GOD WHAT A WEEK. We are currently dead, but don't worry, we will get better like a common Roger Stone. Since we have no idea what to say about this ridiculous news week, look at Wonkette toddler right there making fun of the NRA! Isn't that a great picture? Yes, it is. OK, we are about to count down the top ten stories of the week, and SPOILER, number one is Joy Reid, which made some people maaaaaaad, but don't worry, they'll get better like a common Roger Stone.

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Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:


Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. I, A Flaming Homosexual, Don’t Give A Flying Fuck Whether Joy Reid Wrote That Shit 10 Years Ago. AND I STILL DON'T.

2. Trump’s Very Good Brain DEMENTIA-SPLODES All Over ‘Fox & Friends’! Oh GOD, that interview!

3. Incels Hope To Be Taken ‘Seriously’ Following Latest Woman-Hating Murder Spree. Yeah NOPE.

4. Sorry, Trump! Even If You Fire Robert Mueller, He Is Still BOSS OF YOUR ASS. True fact!

5. Diamond And Silk Lie To Congress Like It’s Their Damn Jobs. No seriously, that happened.

6. Devin Nunes Breaks Land Speed Record For Blowing Wad All Over Fox News (ALLEGEDLY!) FUCKING DEVIN.

7. KELLYANNE CONWAY WISE ENOUGH TO KEEP MICHELLE OBAMA’S NAME OUT HER MOUTH. Unfortunately she is not actually wise enough :(

8. The Week In Garbage Humans: Nazis Rally In Georgia, Proud Boy Doesn’t Like How Women Vote, And MORE! So many garbage humans this week!

9. El Presidente Dipshit Tweets While Melania Makes Giggle Eyes At Obama. A Study In Contrasts! Last weekend was pretty weird, y'all.

10. Remember Those Black Teens Trump Wanted Executed? Netflix Remembers! Ava Duvernay, everyone!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Here are more pictures of the kid:

OK bye!

Yours in baby Jesus,


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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