Your Weekly Top Ten Had A Really Exhausting 2019 This Past Week


One (partial) week into 2019 and we think enough things have happened in 2019 to call it a year, right? We can go back to sleep until 2019 is over? No? Well fuck.

All right, it's your first top ten post of the new year. Shall we?

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. BREAKING: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez *Isn't Who She Claims To Be*

9. North Carolina's Vote Fuckery Ends Poorly (For The Republicans Who Did It).

8. Let's Liveblog Nancy Pelosi Taking Back That Gavel And Immediately Beating The Shit Out Of Everybody With It!

7. Ann 'Black Liberationist' Coulter KNOWS The FBI Invented Kwanzaa, So White Liberals Can Suck It

6. Your 2018 Legislative Shitmuffin Of The Whole Entire Year Is ... JIM JORDAN!

5. Who's Doing Good New Laws? Is It Dems? Is It DEMS? Yes It IS!

4. President Bugfuck's New Year's Resolution Clearly 'Be More Bugfuck'

3. Oh, Here She Comes! Watch Out, Trump, Pelosi Will Chew You Up!

2. Meet Your 2018 Legislative Badasses Of The Year: Kamala Harris And Pramila Jayapal!

1. Some D-Bags Tried To Body Shame Connie Schultz. It Did Not Work.

Yay, good stories! Fucking crazy week, and 2019 is just beginning!

Oh, is there anything else?

Just more pics of the Wonkette toddler, that's all:

OK now this post is over.

Go with God,


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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