Oh hey, everyone! It is your weekly top ten post! HOORAY! Anyway, we wrote a couple of times about the NYT's Maggie Haberman this week, because she was being wrong, and she still hasn't blocked us on Twitter. HOORAY AGAIN! But she probably will soon, because she blocks ERRBODY. So that is your update on whether or not Maggie Haberman has blocked Wonkette. Are you ready for your top ten countdown?

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We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. A Texas Billionaire, The Stripper He Beat Up, And The Mugshot He Doesn’t Want You To See. A story written by "Respectable Lawyer" while we were on vacation!

2. New York Times’s Maggie Haberman Has Chosen To Be A Dick Today. Because she had most definitely made that choice.

3. Trump On Puerto Rico: A Lot Of People Don’t Know About ‘Ocean’! MANY WATER. MUCH OCEAN.

4. OMG Y’all, President Stupidass Actually Thinks He’s #WINNING This Football Fight. And he STILL DOES.

5. If He’s Going Down, Paul Manafort Will Take Half Of DC Down With Him. Because that's the kind of asshole he is.

6. The 9,746 Top Reasons We Don’t Want To Watch Megyn Kelly’s Dumb Fuckin’ New Show. All 9,746 are "because fuck that shit" is why.

7. TRUMP UNITES AMERICA! (Behind The Strong, Classy Black Dudes Playing The Foosball.) You guys, Shy wrote a post about #TheSport!

8. If Maggie Haberman’s Hot Takes Get Any Hotter, We’re All Going To Burn To Death. Ow! Ow!

9. The Week In Garbage Men: MGTOWs Declare Sex Dolls ‘The New Standard Of Beauty.' Because OF COURSE they did.

10. And finally, Homeland Security Just Took A Year To Tell States They Got Hacked By Russia. THEY WERE ON A BREAK. It's probably not that important anyway.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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OK bye or whatever, don't get blocked by Maggie Haberman on Twitter this weekend.

Yours in Christ,


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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