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Hey-o, another shitty week of shitty news, but there is reason to rejoice! Actually, two reasons! One is that the Wonkette Toddler is turning FOUR YEARS OLD on Tuesday. Is that not insane? Was it not just yesterday when the Wonkette toddler was a newborn baby, which happened shortly after the maternity leave Editrix Rebecca left for and may or may not be back from? No seriously, it was four years ago. Time flies when you're having fun or when your country is in the shithole because you have a shithole president.

Second reason to rejoice, but only if you are in or near New York, and it is that later today, yr Wonkette Robyn will be meeting you for a drinky thing! It's at three in the afternoon in the East Village! Click here for all the details on that.

OK anyway, this is your top ten post.

Before we count down the top ten stories, though, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Maggie Haberman (Of Course) Just Saying MAYBE Trumps Are Royal Family Of America's Dreams!

9. David Brooks: Young People With Their Guacamole Bread And 'Diversity' Are Killing The GOP

8. Bill Barr Still Hiding Mueller's Counter-Intel Findings From Adam Schiff, So That's Fucked UP Actually!

7. Trump's UK State Visit Off To Smashing Start, Pip Pip You Betcha!

6. Check Out President Brain Hemorrhoids's 1993 Plan To Become King Of England By Fucking Lady Di!

5. Duncan Hunter Ordered The Code Red, And Who Are You To Judge Him?

4. Trump's Mouth Has 'Extreme Weather' Event All Over Piers Morgan's Face

3. Fix Yourself A Drink, It's Time To Kick Back And Call Brit Hume A Fuckin' Moron!

2. WTF Just Happened With Michael Flynn's Case And Why Is Devin Nunes Mooing About It?

1. 'Elp! 'Elp! Wonkette Being Sued By This 40-Millionaire!

Hooray, those are very good stories!

Couple more pics for you:

OK that's all, go with God, etc.

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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