Your Weekly Top Ten Is A Sleepy Cat Bagel
Rebecca was busy with important things, so your Top Ten, which is also quite important, she is being writ by Dok Zoom this week! Before we get to our top ten articles of the week past, allow me to do the traditional moneybeg:
Please donate us money, because that is what pays for Yr Wonkette to pay its writers a living wage, and thereby for our many collective cats, dogs, children, and home appliances to be maintained in good health/working order. We can take all the madness the world has to give, but we won't last a day without you.
Here, have a photo of Donna Rose and Tallulah in the new housecar!
And now, the Top Ten stories of the week past, as selected by Nathan Fillion from the Netflix series "Big Mouth."
10: You'll NEVER GUESS What The Anti-Abortion & Stem Cells Crowd Thinks Of The President's Stem Cell Smoothie! We bet you actually guessed: They miraculously didn't give a fetal rat's fart.
9: Amy Coney Barrett, Day Two: Liveblogging Our Descent Into Gilead! This must have been the most important day of the hearings, since it was the only one to make it into the Top Ten!
8: Were You Really Dumb Enough To Believe Trump Would 'Drain The Swamp'? Hahahaha, of course you were not!
7: No One Cares About Columbus Day Anymore And yet YOU cared enough to read it! Lots of you!
6. Watch Rudy Giuliani Pull This HILARIOUS DISINFORMATION Out Of His Hat! Hey Rocky! It's October Surprise fan mail from some flounder!
5. Trump Needs To Stop His Jim Jones Coronavirus Rallies But he won't, no not ever.
4: Now Is The Time For All Good Wonks To Open Their Wallets, It's Friday! You guys just love a moneybeg! That, or it hovers at the top of the page long enough that a lot of you click it. Which is a kind of love, we're pretty sure.
3: Pinkerton Guard Charged In Shooting Wingnuts Tried To Pin On Anarchists. Did We Time Travel? Goddamn Pinkertons.
2: Trump's Tax Returns: The 'Not Staying In Vegas' Edition Those New York Times stories on Trump's taxes keep coming, and maybe that's almost enough to make up for the "We talked to an undecided voter in a MAGA hat about who their undecided AR-15 supports this year" stories. Or not.
1: Maybe Attempted Whitmer Kidnappers Were Just Trying Throw Her A Surprise Party, Huh? It didn't seem like much of a party, really.
And now you get more pics of Donna, Tallulah, and their clay bugs they made themselves!
And now it is time for your Saturday to really get rolling. Relax in earnest, you!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.