Did you know you can click through this picture to BUY THIS HAT???


Hey Wonkers! It is the weekend, which means it is time for your top ten post! Did you know Wonkette is hittin' the road to come see you, if you are in Boise, Sacramento, Sonoma, and lots of other parts of California? IT'S TRUE, CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS. Of course, our headline is fake news because yr Weekly Top Ten is not a person, actually, therefore it cannot come to see you. But Editrix Rebecca and Shy and the Wonkette toddler are coming! You know, that toddler above, modeling the "IMPEACH" hat you need to buy. Click on the picture to do that!

But first, we must ask you nicely to MONEY US, by giving us money. You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE! So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

For instance, you could also purchase our sexxxy blue baseball caps if you don't have the first two in the series. One of them says "Hell. No." and the other says "Literally Anyone Else 2020." OR YOU CAN BUY ALL THREE!

There are many other products in Ye Olde Wonkette Generale Store!

Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who likes it when you money us:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. DAMN BOB CORKER DAMN! GIRL! SHIT! That story better be #1, since we came in on a Sunday to write it.

2. Oh Chris Cillizza, You FUCKING Shitheel. Oh MAN, he is the worst.

3. Oh No, The President’s Various Wives Are Fighting. And we are not paying attention to their "Real Housewives" shit, you can't make us.

4. Roy Moore’s Christian Crimer Son Caught Christian Criming WITH A DEFENSELESS ANIMAL. We blame bad parenting.

5. Dumb Old President Loser-Dick Hates Everything, Wishes It Was DEAD! WHIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

6. GOP Sen. Bob Corker Has Only Just Begun To Talk Shit About Donald Trump. And now it's time for others to follow his lead, and for them to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

7. Queen Elizabeth Will See Donald Trump IN HELL. Well, she will.

8. Poll Porn! Donald Trump Now Losing All His Country Folk, Oh No, How Sad! He must be really sick of winning by now.

9. Victoria Jackson Thinks Julia Louis-Dreyfus Should Stop Being JUST LIKE HITLER. What, is that an unreasonable thing to think?

10. The Week In Garbage Men: Incels Dream Of Zombie Sex Slaves To Call Their Own, Also Their Own Sisters. Because you all just love that weekly series Robyn does!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

You are very good!

OK bye.

Yours in Christ,

Wonkette

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click here to fund us!

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc