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Hello, Wonkers! Yes, it is true, we are dating Beto O'Rourke now, but we are willing to share, because it seems that everybody is dating Beto O'Rourke now, ever since the Texas GOP decided to ZING him by showing everybody how he has always been gorgeous and he used to be in a band and sometimes he skateboards. He probably even had sex sometimes!

Poor Ted Cruz, that dude must be so stressed right now he's probably masturbating into empty soup cans even more than usual, ALLEGEDLY.

Anyway, shall we count down our top ten stories? We shall.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Hey Paul Manafort! You Freakin' Out, Buddy?

9. Pour One Out For Ol' WALNUTS!

8. Let's Talk About Don Jr. And His Mob Lawyer Alan Futerfas!

7. Let's End A Rollicking Sex Week With Some Juicy Bouncy POLL PORN!

6. The Trump Organization Is Sooooooooooo Fuuuuuuuuuucked

5. Mazie Hirono Ready To Keep Kicking Trump's Okole

4. Sarah Palin Responds To John McCain's Death By Whining About Nicolle Wallace (Because She's A Dick)

3. Maybe Lindsey Graham Is Just A Piece Of Shit

2. President Zen Master Totally Losing His Shit Right Now, So That's New And Different

1. GOP Will Beat Beto O'Rourke By Showing Texas How Fuckable Beto Is

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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OK now you get kid pics:

Let's see ... anything else? NOPE.

OK this post is over now, goodbye.

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Some of our favorite people to follow on Twitter are the wonderful folks who watch Fox News every night and tweet screenshots and videos, so that we never ever EVER have to watch it. (They all work for Media Matters, so presumably they are being forced to do this by David Brock.)

We had a feeling after Pete Buttigieg did that Fox News town hall, and after we watched the MENSA trust at "Fox & Friends" just lose it all morning about Buttigieg's open criticism of Fox News on Fox News, that the evening hosts would really deliver on Monday night, and boy was our feeling correct.

Let's go to the tape, provided by Media Matters deputy director of rapid response Andrew Lawrence.

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Today it was announced that Dress Barn would be closing all 650 of its stores and its business in general. This has been happening a lot lately, as people have begun to do most of their shopping online rather than in stores. Shopko, a department store chain, recently announced it would be closing all of its stores as well.

Then there's the mall store Charlotte Russe, which closed all of its stores in March. I actually worked there in high school, and at Contempo Casuals, which later became Wet Seal, and which closed all of its stores last January (though it's still online). Many other "mall stores" are also either closing entirely or closing a huge chunk of their stores.

Dress Barn was a terrible and oddly insulting-sounding name for a store. The fact that it survived for as long as it did with marketing that bad actually speaks very well for the store itself. If it were not doing an incredibly good job providing many women with what they wanted, clothing-wise, I do not think they would have survived this long. While I can't speak to that personally, since the last time I lived in an area that had one I was 14 years old (though I did get a very nice purple crushed velvet baby-doll dress there for my grandparent's anniversary when I was in 8th grade), a lot of people today are talking about how much they appreciated that they could get nice work clothes there for a reasonable price -- and also in a wide range of sizes. That's awesome. There should be more of that, not less.

But the real problem isn't just people losing a store they like. It's the fact that all of the people working at those 650 stores no longer have jobs–about 6,800 people in total. (And 18,000 employees are losing their jobs at Shopko, which often served towns of 3,000 to 5,000 people, too small for any other store where you could buy, say, socks and a toaster.) And the way things are going, it's going to be pretty hard for them to find jobs in the same line of work. The vast majority of these people, also, are women.

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