Your Weekly Top Ten Is Headed Toward The Inauguration And The Washington DC Lady March!
Wonkebago is sad and sick right now. BUT WE AREN'T.
OK TO BE CLEAR, your Weekly Top Ten and the person who writes it (me) are not heading there, but did you hear the news that, after getting all brokeded down on the road in The Montana, the Wonkebago is in the shop, BUT your editrix and her fambly are still headed that way, in a Wonke-SUV, like common Yuppie-crats? IT'S TRUE. More details on their trip here!
We want you to keep that in mind here in Paragraph Two, where we shake you up for money dollars. So, HEY DONATION PARAGRAPH HEY, will you donate us moneys? Will you throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? Seriously, if you are able, then pull out your wallet and throw money on our face! OW, OW, THAT IS OUR FAVORITE, ESPECIALLY WHILE WE ARE TRAVELING!! Anyway, you can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. OR you could just do one of our "ad-fewer" subscriptions, where you only see glorious in-house ads, from our actual friends, instead of yucky-nasty ads.
Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who requires travel snax whilst on the road:
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!
1. Glenn Greenwald and Kellyanne Conway are gi-fucking-normous idiots this week, for the exact same reason.
2. Hahahaha, TRUMP PEE HOOKERS! TRUMP PEE HOOKERS!
3. Kellyanne Conway decided to be a REAL dick about that whole Meryl Streep thing, big effin' surprise.
4. FORGET ABOUT THE TRUMP PEE HOOKERS! TRUMP PEE HOOKERS! (Focus on the more important stuff in that dossier, like the treason stuff.)
5. OH NO IT IS LAST WEEK'S TOP TEN LIST, WORMHOLE, WORMHOLE!
6. Ivanka Trump is a contractor-stiffing A-hole, just like her dad.
7. Here's Shep Smith on Ye Olde Fox News, reading Trump for filth.
8. THE WHOLE UNIVERSE dared Trump to call Meryl Streep "over-rated," and he was like "OK I AM PATHETIC ENOUGH TO DO THAT."
9. Donald Trump and Arnold Schwarzenegger will see each other IN HELL.
10. And finally, guess the GOP is cool with Benghazi-styley attacks, as long as Hillary Clinton isn't holding office.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories, according to Beyoncé!
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