OH HI WONKERS. Another week, and now we are at war with Syria or something? HUH. Well, we just don't know, but we smell somethin' funny. Anyway, let's do top ten stories of the week, because that's what we do on Saturday!

Know what comes first, though? US ASKING YOU FOR MONEY, with all the love our hearts can muster! See, we are 100% funded by you readers, and we have no ads, and we love it, and you love it, but we have to keep asking you to give us dollars and subscription moneys and things in order to make this system work. Will you throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? Or we even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up tothrow money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Or do a subscription! Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who thrives on donations:


We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Business Insider has a suggestion for how to save money more gooder, and it's Do Not Be Poor. Look at Ms. New Writer "KillerMartinis," having the top story of the week!

2. Everybody hates Donald Trump, even the white men and the rurals! And now that he went and did globalism to Syria, his "alt-right" people hate him too!

3. Donald Trump invited China President over for Pussgrab 'n' Chill, but was like oops no room at the Mar-a-Lago Inn, would you like to stay at the lovely Radisson out by the airport?


5. Your new SCOTUS justice Neil Gorsuch knows there is no "Leukemia" in "T-E-A-M."

6. Did you know women are literally murdering the entire world, by putting men in the "friendzone"? It is apparently a thing!

7. We liveblogged one of Sean Spicer's hilarious press conferences! Did you like that? Should we do it on the daily? (Pfffft, like we are going to listen to your "advice.")

8. The internet is telling white men to kill black men and "sluts," and unfortunately, some white men are listening.

9. Donald Trump started out his very good week by dry-drunk-tweeting "Fox & Friends," like normal presidents do.

10. And finally, a Penn State trustee has "thoughts" on Sandusky's so-called "victims." They are bad thoughts.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc