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OH HI WONKERS. So, like 150% of the top stories this week are about that idiot House Intelligence Committee chair Devin Nunes, but before we dive into THAT pool of rancid badger vomit, let's all enjoy the video posted above, of Wonkette Toddler Child Baby DOING THE SLIDE. She shoots right out of it, onto her butt! BUT YET SHE PERSISTED. (And then she decided you know what? FUCK THAT. Smart cookie!)


OK, we will count down your stories in a sec, but first, may we please ask you for some money? YES WE MAY, because we are your real dad! But yeah anyway, we are 100% funded by you readers, and we have no ads, and we love it, and you love it, but we have to keep asking you to give us dollars and subscription moneys and things in order to make this system work. Will you throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? Or we even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and throw money on our face! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Or do a subscription! Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, WHO PERSISTS in enjoying your donations:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Did you see the "WTF BRO?" look Angela Merkel gave Donald Trump during their joint presser last week? WATCH IT AGAIN!

2. Is THIS why Devin Nunes decided to poop all over his own Trump Russia treason investigation?

3. Jimmy Johns is evil. No, we mean more evil. A story from 2014, for some reason!

4. That dumbass Trump slut Devin Nunes needs to SIT. THE. FUCK. DOWN.

5. Let's watch SCOTUS nominee Neil Gorsuch very politely call Ted Cruz a huge asshole!

6. That dumbfuck Donald Trump literally just found out Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.

7. Last week, Republicans were getting MIGHTY SASSY about Trump's bullshit "wire tapp" lies.

8. German and Irish leaders agree: GET THIS FUCKER TRUMP AWAY FROM US!

9. Clown-faced Wonkette typing lady Robyn is WORLD FAMOUS among creeper MRA dudes!

10. And finally, here are the five best times Devin Nunes shit the bed during Monday's Comey hearings.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

K HAVE A NICE WEEKEND GOODBYE.

Love,

Wonket

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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