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Top 10! We got anything to say at you? No.

Before we count down the top 10 stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! If you like presents, you could do our Patreon! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

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Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Trump Tremendously Impressed With How Many Not-Crimes Trump Guilty Of!

9. I Don't Care What Anyone Says, Do Not Let Gwyneth Paltrow In Your Vagina

8. Here Are Just Some Of The Unbelievably Stupid Things People Believed Last Year

7. The Top Three REAL Reasons Trump Bombed That Iranian General, Plus One We Made Up (ALLEGEDLY)

6. Y'all Other Judges Just Jealous You Don't Have A Pastor Boner Gee-tar Strummer Work Boyfriend Like This Lady Does

5. Mitch McConnell Pencilling In John Bolton's Testimony For ... Never, Does Never Work For You?

4. Congratulations, Chris Cillizza And Mitch McConnell! You've Both Won A One-Way Trip To Go-Fuck-Yourself-Ville!

3. Fox News Judge Just Saying IMPEACH THE MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN!

2. Lindsey Graham Makes Nancy Pelosi An Offer She Definitely Totally Absolutely Can Refuse

1. Put On Your Pretend Shocked Face: Donald Trump (Allegedly) Creeped On A Fox News Lady

Those are good stories!

OK that is all, go with God, etc.

Love,

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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