Whew! Another fuckshow week! And we had the plague for over half of it!

But we just wanted to say that we at Wonkette, in honor of our top post of the week, and in solidarity with Louisiana GOP Cajun Congressidiot Clay Higgins, are still searching for Michael Cohen's boxes, because it is very confusing where they are (they are in his basement). Won't you join us in searching for Michael Cohen's boxes (they are in the corner of the basement, can't miss 'em!)? OK good. WHAR BOXES?

Shall we count down the top ten stories of the week? Yes, we shall.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:


9. Those Wacky Dems Want To Throw MONEY At Child Poverty!

8. What's In Michael Cohen's Boxes? Oh, Just The Last Shreds Of Jay Sekulow's Reputation, Maybe

7. Nancy Pelosi Takes GOP Demand To Condemn Muslim Lady, Turns It On Their Charlottesville Asses

6. Elizabeth Warren Shan't Be Calling Mike Pence 'Decent' Any Time Soon

5. Americans United At Last: Trump's A Dirty, Crimey, Crooked Man

4. Sad Old Man Humps American Flag, Does Other Embarassing Things

3. New NC GOP Congressional Candidate Gonna Stuff Your Ballot Box ... WITH SEXXX SECRETS

2. Happy Friday! Here's Some Horrifying Shit From Politico About Trump's Foreign Policy Shop!

1. Hey, Louisiana Dipshit Congressman Idiot! We Found Michael Cohen's Boxes!

Those are good stories!

And now, here is a picture of Wonkette toddler in Denver, teaching her new friend to play chess, just after she taught her new friend all her Taylor Swift dance moves.

OK, that's all.

Go with God.



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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