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Whew! Another fuckshow week! And we had the plague for over half of it!

But we just wanted to say that we at Wonkette, in honor of our top post of the week, and in solidarity with Louisiana GOP Cajun Congressidiot Clay Higgins, are still searching for Michael Cohen's boxes, because it is very confusing where they are (they are in his basement). Won't you join us in searching for Michael Cohen's boxes (they are in the corner of the basement, can't miss 'em!)? OK good. WHAR BOXES?

Shall we count down the top ten stories of the week? Yes, we shall.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. WHAT THE FUCK, MANAFORT JUDGE?

9. Those Wacky Dems Want To Throw MONEY At Child Poverty!

8. What's In Michael Cohen's Boxes? Oh, Just The Last Shreds Of Jay Sekulow's Reputation, Maybe

7. Nancy Pelosi Takes GOP Demand To Condemn Muslim Lady, Turns It On Their Charlottesville Asses

6. Elizabeth Warren Shan't Be Calling Mike Pence 'Decent' Any Time Soon

5. Americans United At Last: Trump's A Dirty, Crimey, Crooked Man

4. Sad Old Man Humps American Flag, Does Other Embarassing Things

3. New NC GOP Congressional Candidate Gonna Stuff Your Ballot Box ... WITH SEXXX SECRETS

2. Happy Friday! Here's Some Horrifying Shit From Politico About Trump's Foreign Policy Shop!

1. Hey, Louisiana Dipshit Congressman Idiot! We Found Michael Cohen's Boxes!

Those are good stories!

And now, here is a picture of Wonkette toddler in Denver, teaching her new friend to play chess, just after she taught her new friend all her Taylor Swift dance moves.

OK, that's all.

Go with God.

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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'George,' by Wonkette Operative 'Nodakastani'

Bet you guys could do with some nice things about now, huh? So let's take a break from the usual grind of horrors and nastiness and look at some less miserable stuff for a while, shall we? Oh indeed we shall.

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I don't quite know how to tell you this, but a group of anti-abortion lunatics are currently urging people to stop immunizing their children on account of the fact that they believe that because some vaccines were made using cell lines from two aborted fetuses back in the 1960s, said vaccines are not only immunizing the world against disease, but against their prayers as well. They claim that were it not for these vaccines unfairly intervening with their plans, they would have overturned Roe v. Wade by now.

The group calls themselves Intercessors for America, and their whole deal is basically that they think prayers are literal magic and that if they pray super hard for leaders to do what they want, all of their wishes will come true. They send out a newsletter filled with extremely specific prayers for various politicians based on what they are doing that day and also have an "interactive prayer wall" on their site, which is actually just a Facebook comment section of some kind where a bunch of people are posting their prayers.

No, I did not press send. Though I was tempted.

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