Your Weekly Top Ten Won't Pledge A Loyalty Oath To Idiot Donald Trump Either

OH HI WONKERS. This news week killed us dead. And you know what? Next week will probably be just as crazy! For now, let us sit here in our jammies quietly and read the top ten stories of the week while we drink our coffee, which may or may not definitely have like three shots of Baileys in it.


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YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Asshole congresswoman who voted to repeal Obamacare tries to "Jimmy Kimmel's Baby" her own son. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

2. This one mean idiot Louisiana senator, John Kennedy, was the STAR of the Sally Yates hearing on Monday.

3. Speaking of the Sally Yates hearing, here is Wonkette's VERY HILARIOUS LIVEBLOG of it!

4. Trump fired Comey because Comey wouldn't lick Trump's bottom and stop investigating Russia.

5. Speaking of Trump firing Comey, just exactly how stupid does Trump really think we are?

6. We also learned MANY OTHER HILARIOUS things the day Trump fired Comey. A Listicle!

7. And what role did Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein play in all this? He Borked himself.

8. This very traditional guy hopes women will embrace the patriarchy, the same way he has embraced safety razors.

9. Donald Trump did an interview with The Economist and it was LOL WTF OMG HOLY SHIT.

10. And finally, we liveblogged Sarah Huckabee Sanders lying for her supper at the White House press briefing, and it was BRILLIANT.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

You are very good. For following our orders, we present more pictures of Wonkette toddler person human grown lady, at the Portland Zoo and also at the Wonkette Picnic! Also one of these pictures is an exotic zoo creature, and not Wonkette toddler. CAN YOU FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE?

K HAVE A NICE WEEKEND GOODBYE.

Love,

Wonket

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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