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LOOK, IT IS A NEW WONKETTE TODDLER PRESSURE LION OF CUTENESS FOR YOUR TOP TEN POST. That is the type of thing that encourages you to give us donations. And yes, it is sideways and yes we could fix it but also yes, we don't feel like it because yes, we have shit to do because yes we write this on Friday afternoons and yes that means there's an alcoholic beverage burning a hole in our refrigerator.

Anyway!

Before we count down the top ten stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent, especially because of the pic of Wonkette toddler right there doing PRESSURE LION.

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Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Some Asshole Sending Wonkette Stupid Letters In James O'Keefe's Name

9. Coming IG Report Doesn't Indict FBI For Treason And Bill Barr Is Having A Shiiiiiiiiiitfittttt

8. Congressman From 'Hee Haw' Will Ride Devin Nunes's Cow Into This Week's Trump Impeachment Hearings

7. Trump Lying About Ukrainian President Again, Wait WHAAAAAAAAT?

6. There Aren't Enough 10-Foot Poles In England For Princess Anne To Touch Donald Trump

5. Devin Nunes Just Met You And This Is Crazy But Here's His Number CALL HIM MAYBE?

4. Plucky Utah Fifth Graders Take On Homophobic Substitute Teacher And Win

3. London Bridge Terrorist Taken Down By Narwhal Tusk And Fire Extinguisher-Wielding Bystanders

2. In Which The Men Going Their Own Way Go Their Own Way On Thanksgiving

1. IS 'IMPEACH' EVEN IN CONSTITUTION? House Judiciary Impeachment Liveblog, Day One!

Those are good stories!

OK that is all, go with God, etc.

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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