Your Wonkette Week In Review: Everything You Should Have Read While You Were 'Working'
We realize thatsome of you don't spend every moment of every day clicking on our little mommyblog (what is WRONG with you?). So in our continuous quest to be Moar Servicey, we bring you this weekly roundup our very best pieces, as determined by the number of times they were shared on the FacesBook. And Crom knows that popularity is exactly the same as quality, or haven't you been paying attention since junior high school? Remember, to get your favorite ranty pieces into next week's roundup, clicky on that "share" button. Let's see our top ten for the week. Oh yes, let's!
10: Last Saturday's Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, featuring the avant-garde watersports performance of Sister Sarah in the ALS Ice-bucket Challenge, was apparently worth inflicting on your friends. You are one mean-hearted bunch, Wonkers.
9: Our Great Big Barry Bamz Tan Suit Livebloog (we hear he said something about ISIS, too) was quite the big deal. We think that some of the shares had to do with the photoshoop of Barack in a Talking Heads Big Suit, which got Yr Dok Zoom some 2000 retweets on the twitterzes. Fun! Even if it was also picked up by the nine paid bloggers of Twitchy, too. Sigh.
8: Mallory Ortberg told some pretty darn funny jokes about Male Novelists, and it was a big hit with the highly literate readers of Wonket, you smart people, you. Seriously, can you imagine Daily Caller readers grooving on littachur jokes?
7: A couple of Republican groups sponsored a study that found out that the ladies just aren't into the Grand Old Party. Obviously, it's time to explain once more to women that if they weren't so flighty and dependent on big government, they'd love some corporate tax cuts.
6: A genuine jerkwad in Florida tried to get a 12-year-old's lemonade stand shut down. He found out what it was like to be the most disliked person in town.
5: A nine-year-old girl was allowed to shoot an Uzi submachine gun, for fun, at an Arizona tourist spot where guns are treated like amusement park equipment. It's a great business model until someone ends up dead.
4: A few dozen people rallied in St. Louis to show their support for the real victim of the shooting in Ferguson, Missouri: The cop, who lived, but is being unfairly depicted as some kind of killer or something.
3: The good people of Cleveland, Texas, will be protected from demonic library books if some local pastors get their way. Where's Kevin Bacon when you need him?
2: In our second piece this week involving the Ice Bucket Challenge, an idiot holding a big Confederate flag set his head on fire, and only then found out that a bucket of water wouldn't put it out.
1: In what we're sorry to say is probably not a declining video genre, a Marine from Florida recorded himself getting threatened and beaten by a cop. Officer Friendly isn't so friendly anymore, damn it, and we're wondering if the NAACP and ACLU shouldn't start a campaign to equip all black Americans with their own GoPro cams.
Here's hoping we can find some really cheery stuff for you to share and enjoy next week. Share and enjoy.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.