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Yr Wonkette Will Soon Have All Of Gateway Pundit's Monies (UPDATED)

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Today is a day that ends with a “y,” which can only mean one thing: Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, has pooped on the carpet again and is standing over it wagging his tail and hoping we will pet him and tell him he is a good boy. Well, we won’t! Bad Stupidest Man on the Internet! That’s a very bad Stupidest Man on the Internet!


Let us set the scene: on Friday the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee sent out a fundraising letter soliciting money to fight the Tea Party. As part of the pitch, the letter talked about the anti-IRS rallies the Tea Partiers staged last week. At one rally, the letter said, “radicals waved signs with Nazi symbols.” This of course caused much argle and bargle on the right. Outrage! Nazis were actually progressives! Dems are making ridiculous racist blah blah blah!

The Stupidest Man on the Internet led the charge (bolding his):

Of course, this did not happen.

Anywhere.

Today we are offering a reward to the DSCC if they can offer proof of Nazi symbols – carried approvingly by Tea Party activists – were seen at any of the IRS Tea Party rallies this week. We will give $3,150 to Elizabeth Warren’s favorite minority women’s support group if the DSCC can produce evidence that there were “Nazi symbols” at any of the Tea Party rallies held last Tuesday.

(Note: the amount was originally $3000, but as of press time some of Hoft’s followers had contributed their hard-earned Social Security monies to the cause because the grandkids can go without birthday gifts this year.)

Yr Wonkette loves a challenge! And we’re still waiting for Hoft to offer us one, because we needed about five minutes and a couple of permutations of the words Tea Party, IRS, rallies, and Nazi to turn up this little charmer.

We tweeted that link to Hoft and also to his partner in this venture, one Andrew Marcus, director of the greatest documentary since Nanook was harpooning seals on camera, and then we kicked back and waited for the check. We had big plans for it, assuming we could convince Hoft and Marcus that we are Elizabeth Warren’s favorite minority women’s support group. Editrix could buy lots more booze on her upcoming road trip, or maybe help Dok score himself a car that could get him to the Seattle drinky thing without crapping out somewhere in Oregon (again), or Snipy could buy herself some cool new hats. Oh, the possibilities!

Sadly but to our complete lack of surprise, Hoft and Marcus are trying to weasel out of paying us our rightful monies:

You think so, Frederick Wiseman? We think the group could have meant that comparing the IRS’ actions to the tactics of the Schutzstaffel is ridiculous and the fight here is to push back on that inane characterization. It was Marcus and Hoft and their legions of perpetually butthurt poop ferrets who made the jump to “LIBERALS ARE CALLING US NAZIS!!1!!!” And it is beside the point. The DSCC said that at the Tea Party rallies last week, “radicals waved signs with Nazi symbols.” Hoft and Marcus denied it happened. They even put the denial in bold so we would know how sure they were! Then they demanded proof. We offered proof. That will be three thousand dollars, please. Not Ameros, not whore diamonds. Dollars.

Let us know when you’re ready to pay up, guys. We accept PayPal and all major credit cards.

UPDATE: As it happens, we took a screenshot of Hoft's story on Saturday afternoon  just in case he tried to change anything later to weasel out of paying us. And wouldn't you know it, he did just that! Here is a screen grab from 4:04 PST Saturday afternoon:

And here is what he had changed it to by this morning:

Actually it looks to us like the dude in the photo was plenty approving of his own sign! Which, again, is a ridiculous characterization of what the IRS did.

Sorry, Jim Hoft! Moving the goalposts does not get you out of your obligation to pay us all your monies! Start checking beneath those sofa cushions for loose change.

[Stupidest Man on the Internet’s Stupid Blog]

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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