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Zany Washington Post Marijuana Story Contains Dangerous Levels Of Wordplay

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Oh, Washington Post writer Emily Heil, we were going to make excuses for you, assuming you were some poor underpaid intern forced to churn out blog postlets for the Post's "In The Loop" blog, which is different from all the other blogs the Post has, somehow, there's probably a logic to it, but then we went to your author page and saw that you have been a journalist for ten years so we feel a need to take you to task for your latest post, about reefer marijuana users. It has so many puns and pot jokes packed into five paragraphs that it makes our head hurt -- more than even smoking marijuana, which is an illegal crime, by the way.

So the young nerds who toil in D.C.'s various policy shops and government agencies enjoy playing softball against one another, for fun. (There was a brief kickball fad among these same people, but Wonkette hasn't done any posts about that in like two years, so we're going to choose to believe that that's over?) And sometimes people who believe diametrically opposed things compete on the softball diamond, which is good for camaraderie and/or irony. So it was when the White House team, representing people who refuse to acknowledge that legalizing pot might be an even vaguely realistic goal, faced off against the Students for Sensible Drug Policy (i.e., crazed drug fiends). This is obviously worthy of extensive journalistic coverage, but was it really worth the following list of terrible marijuana jokes? Was it worth it, Emily Heil?

  • "cloud hanging over the Mall last week"
  • "getting absolutely smoked"
  • "hello, Michael Phelps!"
  • "The One Hitters" (admittedly, this is the druggies' team name, but still)
  • "the precious weed"

OK, that last one's not so much a joke as "someone's idea of what someone who's high would say, about drugs." But whatever, this is still journalism's shame.

The article also notes that a team from the Office of National Drug Control Policy refused to play against the drug hippies last year. The head of this agency is colloquially known as the Drug Czar, a name derived from the title of an actual Russian dictator, and the team is called the "Czardinals," which is unforgivable. Not "put tens of thousands of nonviolent drug offenders in jail for years" unforgivable, but pretty bad nonetheless. [WP]

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Today we are having a Very Serious Conversation about how liberals are very uncivil and mean and terrible and vulgar, because a restaurant in Virginia very nicely asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to GTFO, due to how she is an atrocious liar who works for a fascist. (The restaurant comped the cheese plates that had already been served.) Meanwhile the president is threatening 79-year-old black congresswomen on Twitter and ripping babies away from their parents and just generally being a fascist. BOTH SIDES DO IT, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VERY SERIOUS PUNDITS?

Point is, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is doing her first White House press briefing in a week, assuming she doesn't wuss out like she always does. Will she lie? Will she cry? Will she be a sack of shit like she always is? Most importantly, has she managed to find a meal since she was kicked out of the Red Hen? We certainly hope she's managed to find a Chick-fil-A or something, as we wouldn't want Our Sarah to be forced to give a press briefing while hangry.

Let's liveblog and see what a foul asshole SHS feels like being today:

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Last week, Nicole Arteaga of Peoria, Arizona received the devastating news from her doctor that her baby's development had stopped and that pregnancy would end in a miscarriage. Given the option of either a D&C or prescription medication, she chose to go with the prescription. Then, like all normal people do when they get a prescription, she went to a pharmacy to have it filled.

Unfortunately for her, Brian Hrenuic -- the pharmacist at the Walgreens she went to -- refused to give her that prescription, because he opposed it on "moral grounds."

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