* President Bush moves to replace Gale Norton as Interior Secretary with Dirk Kempthorne — who may have some skeletons in his closet (and is less popular than Spuddy Buddy).
* Howard Dean succumbs to March Madness — and finally has good reason to scream.
* Jessica Simpson graces Capitol Hill with her luminous presence — but doesn’t meet President Bush or swing by Smith Point.
* John Ashcroft sells out and cashes in.
* Tom Malin sits for an exclusive interview with Wonkette. He adores Katherine Harris. Check out this photo of her, and this one. Can you blame him?
* Our new favorite catchphrase: “The pony in slavery.” We are kinda obsessed with it and its insane originator, Adele Fergusen.
* Our second favorite catchphrase: “I Did Not Blog.” Commemorative t-shirt sold separately.
* A bunch of Republicans get stuck in an elevator.
* From the “we’re scared shitless” department: Chris Matthews has supernatural powers. Jessica Cutler will be getting her own TV show.
* Finally, from the “not exactly news” department: Barbara Bush gets drunk. Journalists dress badly and get catty with each other. The Bush Administration doesn’t like gay people.
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