Rumors On The Internets: Republicans Bang Keyboards Together, Discover Internet

George Allen’s campaign trying to hire “conservative blog maven” to put out the fires next time he blurts out an onomatopoetic racial slur. [Hotline On Call]
GOP attacks Kos, publishes dirty words on site. [GOP.com]
Joe Scarborough covers “Fake News vs. Fox News” as if it’s real news. [Crooks and Liars]
Tucker Carlson removed his satin shirt before calling the Democratic leadership, “wussies.” [Media Matters]
Magic chicken bones indicate nation to enter recession. [Jeff Matthews Is Not Making This Up]
The rest of the world hates America because, “they’re just mad we thought of bombing them before they thought of bombing themselves.” [Pandagon]