Color Your Way To Safety

The Catholic Church has gotten tired of all the complaints about priests abusing children and of having to work so hard to keep priests from abusing little kids and to kick them out and stuff. So, the Archdiocese of New York is conducting a cartoon campaign to teach kids how to avoid being abused, because it’s easier to teach a child to fear a priest than to teach a priest to not fuck a child.

In addition to sunny posters teaching children the basics of avoiding sexual abuse featuring that cute little red-headed angel with slight emerging breasteses, the Archdiocese is distributing a coloring book throughout churches in New York called Being Friends, Being Safe, Being Catholic. A page for you to print out and color with your child appears below!

That’s right, kids, unless you can actually see the angel, don’t be alone changing your clothes with the priest around. Just because everyone knows God is watching doesn’t mean that s/he’ll do anything!

Coloring Outside the Lines [Newsweek]