The Amazing Kreskin Could End This Election Right Now

The Amazing Kreskin, an ex-famous mentalist who remarkably is only 72, claims he knows the winner of the 2008 presidential election. Being a douche, however, he won’t tell anyone, so we still have to deal with these gawddamn daily Iowa polls. He did write the name on a piece of paper and put it in a locked box, which is safely stowed in NYC’s World Bar. Someone needs to steal this and pry it open, obviously; but if the winner’s Fred Thompson it must be put away immediately. Or if it’s Rudy Giuliani. Or like the other 20 candidates. Kucinich is cool tho. [CBS News]