• February 11, 2012

We all remember Marc Dann, the famous Ohio Attorney General who lured staffers to his bachelor pad with promises of Hawaiian pizza and resigned only after the entire state introduced impeachment proceedings. And since you surely want to know, what did the lady with whom he was having a sex affair name his penis? It’s not “the Dannimal,” either!

CUZ THE E-MAIL COMMUNICATION WAS RELEASED HOORAY:

On Aug. 22, Utovich referred to getting Dann his daily schedule, then asked, “How’s the bull?”

“It says it misses you,” the attorney general replied.

“It loves me,” she shot back.

Monsters, all.

Dann, aide bantered in e-mails [Columbus Dispatch]

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{ 60 comments }

floraway May 29, 2008 at 3:27 pm

Loves her? They moved pretty fast, eh?

Flounder May 29, 2008 at 3:28 pm

I just want my comments to appear…..pretty please?

AngryBlakGuy May 29, 2008 at 3:29 pm

…if you mess with the bull you get the HORNS!!!

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 3:30 pm

LMAO!!!! I call BULL-shit!

AngryBlakGuy May 29, 2008 at 3:30 pm

…this brings an entirely new(& disturbing) meaning to “running with the bulls”!

AngryBlakGuy May 29, 2008 at 3:31 pm

…anyone wanna go BULL RIDING?!

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 3:31 pm

I want all commenter to start replying to my penis, “bunny”
… and before you ask it’s because it’s cute.

Godless Liberal * May 29, 2008 at 3:33 pm

It is only acceptable to name your penis “Bull” if it has a bullring piercing.

Also, it needs to make clowns dive into barrels.

AngryBlakGuy May 29, 2008 at 3:33 pm

…now I know why they say “Never look a Bull in the eye”!

shorts May 29, 2008 at 3:33 pm

It puts the lotion in the basket. It puts the lotion on.

AngryBlakGuy May 29, 2008 at 3:34 pm

…gaaaawwwd! I can do this all day!

El Bombastico May 29, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Don’t get the wrong idea, everybody. This was just a tribute to the lovable bailiff played by Richard Moll on “Night Court”. Nothing untoward about that.

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 3:35 pm

“How’s the bull?”

“A little red and itchy.”

AngryBlakGuy May 29, 2008 at 3:37 pm

…can we now start referring to gay clubs as “Bull Markets”? Shit we can even call them “Bear Market” if you want!

MathewBrooks May 29, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Such filth…

Won’t somebody PLEASE think about the children?

[wringing hands on apron]

SayItWithWookies May 29, 2008 at 3:40 pm

He calls it the Bull because nobody’s ridden it for longer than eight seconds.

RaptorAvatar May 29, 2008 at 3:41 pm

Guess the term “Papal Bull” is retroactiveley a little more accurate than we thought.

RonaldReagansHair May 29, 2008 at 3:43 pm

@sayitwithwookies: WINNER

ReelectTilden May 29, 2008 at 3:46 pm

That’s sexual harrassment? I might be in a lot of trouble…

Manofsteel May 29, 2008 at 3:49 pm

Wait, how do we know she’s not referring to the Hawaiian pizza?

shorts May 29, 2008 at 3:49 pm

This is so strange, it is as if I don’t even know any of you. Help!

metropolitan May 29, 2008 at 3:50 pm

didn’t george bush try to milk the bull once according to laura?

RonaldReagansHair May 29, 2008 at 3:51 pm

Do we think the friends and histories and whatnot will be back next week? Or is it all *poof* gone?

thepriceofriceinchina May 29, 2008 at 3:52 pm

i didn’t know the bull was capable of expressing emotion

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm

@RonaldReagansHair: I bet your followers are gone forever. Now I know what it must feel like to be Hillary. *sniff*

Dave J. May 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm

@SayItWithWookies: [standing ovation]

El Bombastico May 29, 2008 at 3:55 pm

@shortsSomeone needs to go onto the comments sections of Fox News, Little Green Footballs and Malkin, and let them know that the Wonkette comment section is open for business!

Indi May 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm

@SIWW: Win. No more comments required.

friendlynerd May 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm

Short fat and fuzzy like a guinea pig? That’s my guess.

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 4:00 pm

@Dave J.: I wish I was elitist enough to crown myself with a star!

friendlynerd May 29, 2008 at 4:03 pm

I hate to sound all afraid of change and whatnot, but I was just told I’m commenting too fast and to slow down by the computer overlord.

Also, I can’t track my Wonkette comments from Consumerist anymore. I hate this.

Gopherit v2.0 May 29, 2008 at 4:15 pm

@SayItWithWookies: Probably has a ring through it’s nose, too.

Gopherit v2.0 May 29, 2008 at 4:16 pm

Yeah, you guys really need to drop the “commenting too fast” page. Isn’t that how you make money?

shorts May 29, 2008 at 4:34 pm

@Gopherit: Is it, you? Is it REALLY you? It sounds like you, but you’ve been upgraded?

wonk_the_heck May 29, 2008 at 4:35 pm

a amorous talking penis named Bull. the change no longer scares me.

Dave J. May 29, 2008 at 4:37 pm

@blogfather. That’s the Vietnam flag! I did it to honor Walnuts who crashed his plane(s?) there because he was drunk. (And also to protest the loss of my original star.)

FunkyPalmettoBug May 29, 2008 at 4:39 pm

“Vlad the Impaler” here.

shorts May 29, 2008 at 4:41 pm

His wife was probably riding the “mechanical” bull.

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 5:03 pm

@Dave J.: Now who’s elitist? Bow to my Super-Star! *sniffs fingers*

Gopherit v2.0 May 29, 2008 at 5:08 pm

@shorts Upgraded? If by that you mean that this broken new wonkette ate my original gopherit login when I first tried to make my account, then yes. It is me, and I’ve been properly, if lubelessly, upgraded.

edgydrifter May 29, 2008 at 5:17 pm

“Bull”? What kind of candyass sissy name is that for a dong? “Mr. Big Beefy Thunder Missile”–now that’s a good penis name.

SayItWithWookies May 29, 2008 at 5:19 pm

@Gopherit v2.0: The bull can’t pee standing up? Now that’s just sad.

Gopherit v2.0 May 29, 2008 at 5:23 pm

@SayItWithWookies: Dan could let the Bull pee standing up with a nose ring and easily adjustable chain.

KevoTron May 29, 2008 at 5:36 pm

Yeah, I’m back! And just in time to read about “the bull”. Yikes. I call mine “the great disappointment.”

KevoTron May 29, 2008 at 5:38 pm

“I know what
you’re asking yourself,
and the answer is yes,
I have a nickname for my penis.
It’s called the Octagon.
But I also nicknamed
my testes.
My left one
is James Westfall,
and my right one is
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.

You ladies play your cards right,
you might get to meet the whole gang.”

NotUrEvryDayWEzl May 29, 2008 at 6:11 pm

Idolators and Sodomites! It was clearly a talking golden bull. They will, of course, pay for their sins by being impaled with the bull’s bull a la St. Perpetua.

shortsshortsshorts May 29, 2008 at 7:00 pm

@Kevotron:

Good to see you again, but how many testicles do you have here? Wow.

Deepthroat May 29, 2008 at 7:47 pm

angryblackguy is on a role today!

shortsshortsshorts May 29, 2008 at 8:27 pm

WHY HAS NO ONE CUT OFF ‘THE BULL’ YET.

ronaldpagan May 29, 2008 at 8:58 pm

The Bull is now the security answer for my favorite politician. (Not really, I did first kiss.)

edgydrifter May 29, 2008 at 9:19 pm

: Ideally, those would not be the same answer.

edgydrifter May 29, 2008 at 9:23 pm
edgydrifter May 29, 2008 at 9:24 pm

third time’s the charm?

edgydrifter May 29, 2008 at 9:32 pm
dougbob May 29, 2008 at 9:56 pm

so if the ohio ag was gay…would his used member be called bullshit?

weirdiowasculpture May 29, 2008 at 10:29 pm

I used to call mine “Vlad the Impaler,” but then I turned 14 and realized how embarrassing that was.

RooseveltFranklin May 29, 2008 at 10:45 pm

“King Kamehameha” is a worthy name for Dann’s member, as there is a luau in his pants.

1ofUS May 30, 2008 at 1:02 am

…then he went bullistic and pissed all whipped a cream at a roaming ump. Wait…I didn’t mean it like that, i meant he pistol whipped a crematorium.

LascauxcavemanDeux May 30, 2008 at 1:37 am

“Big Willie,” checking in!

I hope to find out soon how fast is too fast for commenting. My highschool typing teacher will be so proud…

Barry May 22, 2009 at 7:29 pm

Marc Dann is famous for his bullshiting and wanking off . At home his wife rules the roost . Good times are over for Marc and his Viagra prescription has not been renewed. Check out any new news of Marc Dann at http://vindy.com .

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