• February 14, 2012


Discuss.

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{ 92 comments }

Doglessliberal June 12, 2008 at 4:17 pm

You know, if they like this so much, they could get it 24/7 in Iraq. They’d even be paid to go there!

Airborne Toxic Event June 12, 2008 at 4:19 pm

People kill people.

Johnny Zhivago June 12, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Holy shit, I didn’t realize someone was filming my Brother-In-Law’s Fourth of July Party in Pennsylvania!

Seriously, I’m ok with toddlers using machine guns, I really am.

Johnny Zhivago June 12, 2008 at 4:21 pm

Looks like a Mythbusters Fan Club meet-up!

AxmxZ June 12, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Obama is not coming for anyone’s guns, but he should really make an exception for these folks.

Doglessliberal June 12, 2008 at 4:22 pm

[re=14644]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: You and I might have the same brother-in-law because mine has enough guns that if PA is ever invaded, the invaders will want to avoid his neck of the woods.

Lascauxcaveman June 12, 2008 at 4:23 pm

“Keep Shooting!”

“But the car’s already done and blowed up.”

“I SAID KEEP SHOOTING!”

norbizness June 12, 2008 at 4:23 pm

That’s a whole lot of sexual frustration.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 12, 2008 at 4:23 pm

This is sick. Guns are a weapon, not a toy. They should not be used for fun, but only when absolutely necessary. This is almost like taking a precision crafted samurai sword and using it to trim your hedges. They should try a dirty bomb. Hopefully it will irradiate their McCocks and we’ll only have to wait about 20 years before they all blow themselves up and we never hear a peep from them again.

Gregory_of_Nazianzus June 12, 2008 at 4:24 pm

[re=14643]Airborne Toxic Event[/re]: In this case, that might be valid. I doubt these people would have a problem killing someone with their bare hands. They look hungry.

mackensie June 12, 2008 at 4:25 pm

For christ sakes, Americans in Oklahoma are stoo-pid!

You never hold the trigger down when you fire a machine gun. You do it in 3-4 shot bursts. That way, you can correct the fire and it helps keep the barrel from melting and causing all sorts of trouble.

Silly okies!

Gregory_of_Nazianzus June 12, 2008 at 4:25 pm

Also, the cars should be allowed to shoot back. The red-staters are the ones always complaining about the length of the welfare rolls, right?

freakishlystrong June 12, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Wow, the Bitteratti are fuckin’ batshit! Why can’t a tornado hit these yokles?

Botswana Meat Commission FC June 12, 2008 at 4:26 pm

I bet those are Jeremy Shockey’s relatives.

vicuna June 12, 2008 at 4:28 pm

Now we know how Sarah Connor learns to shoot. Absolutely necessary so she can fight the cyborgs in a few decades.

iwillsavethispatient June 12, 2008 at 4:29 pm

I take it that ammunition is still cheaper than gas, then?

FMA June 12, 2008 at 4:30 pm

[re=14661]norbizness[/re]: I don’t get it. Tom Coburn says there are a whole bunch of teenage lesbians in Oklahoma. One would think…

Christastic June 12, 2008 at 4:30 pm

I got two words for you: “awe” and “some”

StrangelyBrown June 12, 2008 at 4:32 pm

There’s still plenty of time to make your plans for this year’s festivities: http://www.oklahomafullauto.com/

At least it’s not in Sally Kern’s district…

Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin June 12, 2008 at 4:33 pm

As I watched I was entertained, then bored, then entertained again, then incredulous, and finally delerious.

It’s exactly as if Sideshow Bob were squeezing off rounds instead of stepping on rakes.

Gopherit v2.0 June 12, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Where did you get Ann Coulter’s home movies?

Uncle Al June 12, 2008 at 4:35 pm

I’d pay money to see them do that to NRA Headquarters.

shortsshortsshorts June 12, 2008 at 4:36 pm

Liberal friendly Oklahoma? Finally!

Gopherit v2.0 June 12, 2008 at 4:36 pm

[re=14638]Doglessliberal[/re]: Cars and targets don’t shoot back. And they won’t usually put family in the same unit, so no sex with your sister.

illnoise June 12, 2008 at 4:36 pm

what percentage of those bullets hit anything resembling a target? Maybe 5%? SMRT.

Cicada June 12, 2008 at 4:38 pm

That looks like a lot of fun. I want to shoot cars too, but the people in my neighborhood would probably get all uptight about it. Anti-constitution pinko libs!

turdsandwich June 12, 2008 at 4:39 pm

It always used to make me feel uncomortable when some old-school raver couple would bring their toddler to a rave–now, not so much.

Hart88 June 12, 2008 at 4:42 pm

My in-laws call this “Saturday”.

Toonces June 12, 2008 at 4:43 pm

These people are morons. And that little girl has no sense of aim – the Army (heck some good Boy Scouts) would whoop these yokels in a heartbeat.

What I’m sure would really get them all hot and bothered would be to let them fire some shit off at Ft. Sill, the Field Artillery base.

Q2 June 12, 2008 at 4:45 pm

[re=14687]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Cheap .308 is running $0.50 a round. So here these fine folks are out helping the economy by expending durable goods and all you folks can do is sit there and criticize their efforts to help America (while teachin’ the youngins to protect us from the coming Takfiri barbarian assault I might add)! Sheesh.

larz June 12, 2008 at 4:47 pm

One can only think that hordes of toddlers with machine guns and bombed out cars can only make Oklahoma more ‘interesting’. Doesn’t do much for tourism, but you don’t miss what you don’t have.

wonk_the_heck June 12, 2008 at 4:47 pm

I only watched to the end hoping for shrapnel casualties.

Canuckledragger June 12, 2008 at 4:48 pm

Trailer for “Red Dawn?”

Doglessliberal June 12, 2008 at 4:48 pm

[re=14712]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: dammit. Stupid rules.

Doglessliberal June 12, 2008 at 4:50 pm

[re=14736]Q2[/re]: I was actually wondering about this. If these people are among those bitching about gas prices, they need to shut up or figure out how to create fuel out of casings.

Accordion-o-rama June 12, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Hope their aquifer in right there under the firing range.
Drink lead, Oakies!

Tits_LaRue June 12, 2008 at 4:55 pm

[re=14718]Cicada[/re]: I also totally want to shoot at a car until it blows up! You need practice for the coming Armageddon/Rapture/Whatever that the Bobby Jindals of the world are trying to force upon us, (because it’s not real and will never happen if they don’t make it happen…)

Also, in some countries, you can buy black-market missiles and shoot them at cattle, so this is pretty tame by comparison.

Cape Clod June 12, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Nice to see that they’re gathering all the future Timothy McVies in one spot.

Q2 June 12, 2008 at 5:02 pm

[re=14759]Tits_LaRue[/re]: Don’t shoot meat things unless ya’ll gonna et it whenyer done.

Obamaton June 12, 2008 at 5:05 pm

I can haz ful otto?

AngryBlakGuy June 12, 2008 at 5:05 pm

GET EEERRR DUUUUUUUN!!!

loquaciousmusic June 12, 2008 at 5:05 pm

[re=14696]StrangelyBrown[/re]: For a second, I thought that website was http://www.oklahomafellatio.com. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much what it is.

Tits_LaRue June 12, 2008 at 5:08 pm

[re=14776]Q2[/re]: lol… I’m pretty sure that the only thing you can make out of a cow blown up by a missile is soup. Or, steak tartare.

Bob Hopeless June 12, 2008 at 5:09 pm

That’ll learn them uppity cars.
Looks like the red target thing survived the strafing unscathed until the bunker buster landed on it.

1ofUS June 12, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Was that Golden Gate Park?

WadISay June 12, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Oklahoma Symphony Orchestra.

RuperttheBear June 12, 2008 at 5:33 pm

AhojChris June 12, 2008 at 5:35 pm

I don’t know what you’re all talking about. This is obviously a well-regulated militia. God Bless America.

RuperttheBear June 12, 2008 at 5:39 pm
onehotdisaster June 12, 2008 at 5:40 pm

i want my 5 minutes back. i didn’t grow up in Oklahoma to not be able to recognize my own hometown goons when i see them. clearly this was shot in Texas.

nowukkers June 12, 2008 at 5:57 pm

[re=14699]Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin[/re]: Agreed. It was kind of like watching incredibly amateurish porn.

Tra June 12, 2008 at 5:57 pm

Life in the compound is ALWAYS this much fun.

shortsshortsshorts June 12, 2008 at 6:12 pm

[re=14859]Tra[/re]:
[re=14830]AhojChris[/re]:
I like to keep it in the refrigerator.

Keeps the powder dry, and the action quicker.

Let me be your American Gladitor.
(Mike speaking)
Find enclosed an adhesive NRA sticker.

A letter to you from where I’ve been holed up
in this bucolic, agrarian compound.
One step ahead

just ahead
of the government bloodhound.

The gas is off, it’s a national showdown.

Sure wish that I could visit you,
my sweet betrothed.

In a couple of days
we’ll all be free,
or we’ll be dead.

Happy Birthday, Tricia,
I’m in the Michigan Militia.
Happy Birthday, Tricia,
I’m in the Michigan Militia.

Fencing off this little piece of heaven.

Cross the line and you’re electricuted.

Polishing up my AK47.

It’s a constitutional right, can’t be refuted.

Now they’ve got us on TV,
and making us look stupid.
Shot of me flippin’ my lid,
at that mutt reporter,
a classic case of race dilution

Houston,

What is the problem?
I’m fighting for you, and a blue-eyed Jesus.
America first,
the rest get the pieces.

Na Na Na Na.

Happy Birthday, Tricia,
I’m in the Michigan Militia.
Happy Birthday, Tricia,
I’m in the Michigan Militia.

Fighting for your honor,
like would any Afrikaaner.
Happy Birthday, Tricia,
I’m in the Michigan Militia.

Our love is so strong (?our numbers are strong?), and it won’t be long
till I can tell you, Tricia, that we won.
You’ll be ecstatic, just like that night
you told me up in the attic.
That was your wish again,
to be back in ?a? purified Michigan

down on…! down on…!
..the farm.

Well, that’s my wish again,
to be back in Michigan.

Happy Birthday, Tricia,
I’m in the Michigan Militia.
Happy Birthday, Tricia,
(Well, that’s my wish again, to be back in Michigan)
I’m in the Michigan Militia.

I hope you like the double barrel,
I think it goes with your apparel.
Happy Birthday, Tricia,
(Well, that’s my wish again, to be back in Michigan)
I’m in the Michigan Militia.

I like to keep it in the refrigerator.

Cymbalbangingmonkeytoy June 12, 2008 at 6:21 pm

Eight redneck diamonds.

Citizen Kang June 12, 2008 at 6:28 pm

Another quiet afternoon in Basra…

bitchincamaro June 12, 2008 at 6:42 pm

[re=14644]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Lil’ Jessica-Tiffany did not score even one
certified hit and was remanded to the dungeon under the double-wide, where
she was chained to the goat and left to eat lead paint and cigar butts for the rest
of Holy Hell week. Served her ass right.

bitchincamaro June 12, 2008 at 6:53 pm

[re=14877]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
yo, shorts. you’re scarin’ the kids (ME!). do you know
Ted Nugent, all personal n’ shit?

shortsshortsshorts June 12, 2008 at 6:58 pm

[re=14935]bitchincamaro[/re]: I wish I was the one who wrote it, but it was actually this bitchin’ band from the late 90′s called “Moxy Fruvous.”

SocialList June 12, 2008 at 7:02 pm

That looks like Darla Jane and Sammie’s wedding reception…

lawrenceofthedesert June 12, 2008 at 7:23 pm

The youngster reminds me of some Israeli women I served with at Ft. Hood — very faithful husbands, those women had. Nice to see that Dad had outfitted her with headphones — saving her ears for marriage?

SpecialHorse June 12, 2008 at 7:42 pm

This makes me think that I might actually like life as a Paultard.

rod June 12, 2008 at 7:45 pm

That is the worst video for a drum and bass song I’ve ever seen.

Sub_Standard June 12, 2008 at 8:06 pm

You missed a spot, sweetheart.

KTHXBAI June 12, 2008 at 8:37 pm

I hate Oklahoma. Except for this. This is actually cool.

ZombieRichardFeynman June 12, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Mackensie is right about the short bursts being the right way. It pains me to see such poor technique. Back when I was an 11B40H we taught the troops to hold the trigger down on a ’60 just long enough to say “Fire a Burst of Six”; pause, repeat. Cyclic rate of fire 550 rounds per minute but sustained 125. Reminds me of an anecdote in Guadalcanal Diary where a marine heard a banzai attack in progress and a VERY long burst from a machine gun. His reaction: a falsetto “Dear Mom, please send me a new barrel for Christmas”.
Actually it gives a scarily seductive sense of power to sit behind one of those weapons. Cost me my hearing, but at least now I get free medical care at the VA. That’s one way to get your health insurance problems taken care of.

Mr. Spanky June 12, 2008 at 8:37 pm

God, guns and guts made America free. And these brave patriots are just demonstrating that they can form an effective militia to ward off any invading terrorists or commie infiltrators without having to wait for W’s, Commander-in-Chief, direction.

But boy, did they go through a few K-bucks of ammo with that brave demonstration!?

steverino247 June 12, 2008 at 8:55 pm

[re=15031]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]: 6 to 9 round bursts on the M-60 MG. I used to fire single shots, then pairs, triples, on up to nine round bursts just to get the trigger control perfect. These people are rank amateurs! The fucking Silesian Landwehr machine gunners did better at the Somme.

schvitzatura June 12, 2008 at 9:18 pm

[re=14644]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Lil’ Tiffany-Jessica is getting one of these for her birthday, no doubt:

http://www.hobbytron.com/ElectricClassicArmySAWM249AEGRifleAirsoftGunJCCAM249MKII.html

Mr-Clark June 12, 2008 at 9:59 pm

Ken Layne,

I’m not even sure if I’ve flown over Oklahoma and I know I’ve never seen the damned musical.

Sincerely and respectfully,

Mr-Clark

populucious June 12, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Oklahomer- they wont teach kids evolution, but they will teach ‘em how to blow up a beater with a machine gun.

Jewdishoowary Square June 12, 2008 at 10:30 pm

They must REALLY hate American cars.

Jewdishoowary Square June 12, 2008 at 10:30 pm

[re=14944]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Another Früvous fan! God bless you, shortpants.

SayItWithWookies June 12, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Usedta be you had to blow up your old cars with muskets and bayonettes. Now we have squad automatic weapons and two-handed MAC-10s — that’s why Americans are getting fatter.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 12, 2008 at 11:01 pm

I learned how to shoot (at targets) with a handgun by my dad when I was 10 or so, however these idiots make me fucking cringe.
Big guns blow up stuff! Wow! Just like Robosaurus eats cars!
For fuck’s sake, Big Oil needs you in Iraq.
Oh– and bring the lil’ tardette with you. Her first words were probably ‘big gun’, if not, they were ‘government cheese’.

shortsshortsshorts June 12, 2008 at 11:14 pm

[re=15109]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: Our numbers are fading quickly.

trondant June 13, 2008 at 12:00 am

Right now, somewhere, a Freeper has just finished masturbating and is smoking a non-menthol cig and wiping up with the envelope his tax rebate/economic stimulus check/bribe came in.

Yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition. Also, those people are terrible shots.

SwanSwanH June 13, 2008 at 12:17 am

It blowed up. It blowed up real good.

Neilist June 13, 2008 at 12:27 am

That reminded me of one of the Greatest Movies of All Time, by one of the Greatest Director/Screenwriters of All Time:

WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AVENGE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neilist June 13, 2008 at 12:31 am

[re=15031]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]: You’re right about the barrels melting, etc. — on a conventional machine gun.

But that “buzz” around 1:50 was a minigun. With the six or eight barrels, you can crack that puppy all day long — or at least until the ammo tray runs dry.

sanantonerose June 13, 2008 at 1:03 am

Oklahoma is Texas’s Canada.

agingboomerguy June 13, 2008 at 1:56 am

Awesome video. But am I the only one who wonders which Dad bought this lucky 12 year old girl a .50 caliber Browning M2 machine gun?

When I was her age all I got was a lousy .22 caliber single shot rifle.

lumpenprole June 13, 2008 at 2:39 am

That poor kids is going to grow up to weight about 400 lbs.

lumpenprole June 13, 2008 at 2:43 am

[re=15200]lumpenprole[/re]:
“weigh” to go dum dum

lumpenprole June 13, 2008 at 2:44 am

also, “kid’s,” dummy

Canuckledragger June 13, 2008 at 7:15 am

[re=14944]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: “but it was actually this bitchin’ band from the late 90’s called “Moxy Fruvous.”

Yeah, right.

And once I was the King of Spain.

[BTW: Jian from that band is now all over CBC radio and TV. He's one of a handful of "hip" "young" "people" that CBC hopes will make it relevant to those yung'uns with the attention span of a meth-addicted hummingbird. CBC is wrong.]

belmonttau June 13, 2008 at 7:29 am

If only Sally Kern could have been driving that car, the Okies would be looking a lot more sane right now.

Meaux June 13, 2008 at 9:56 am

[re=15179]sanantonerose[/re]: Oh hell no–because I’m in Texas and I LOVE Canadians. Can’t get me enough Canadians round here. I’d happily move there, were it not so cold. Okies, on the other hand, uh, well. Let’s just say Oklahoma is Texas’s Oklahoma.

TGY June 13, 2008 at 10:30 am

I found the little girl firing the tripod-mounted machine-gun to be incredibly depressing.

Johnetic June 13, 2008 at 11:31 am

[re=15275]Meaux[/re]: having been bred in Montana and raised in Texas, I would have to concur. Canadians with their socialized medicine and Mackenzie Brothers are much preferred to tornadoes and Tulsa.

Outstando June 13, 2008 at 11:38 am

That can’t be Oklahoma. There’s green stuff.

policonoclast June 13, 2008 at 1:35 pm

I love guns, esp machine guns. Looks totally fun, minus the side conversations about the blacks, jews, and gays.

Can we start a Wonkette Shooting Club? Seriously – we’ve got to prep for the revolution.

Neilist June 13, 2008 at 8:25 pm

[re=15573]policonoclast[/re]: “Wonkette Shooting Club”?!?

Goddamnit, man! Copyright/trademark that IMMEDIATELY!!!!

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