• February 11, 2012

Black House DownOh, Texas Republicans, you are always so funny. Here is a fun button worn by everyone at the Texas GOP convention. When not making hilarious rape jokes, Texas Republicans like to make jokes about ambitious coloreds. [America Blog]

{ 118 comments }

loudmouthredhead June 17, 2008 at 1:25 pm

I believe the term you were looking for is “uppity negroes”
GEEEZ, Ken…get it right!

NoWireHangers June 17, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Well, when W was President we didn’t put foam padding on the walls, so no.

tunamelt June 17, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Uppity. He’s uppity, not ambitious.

shortsshortsshorts June 17, 2008 at 1:27 pm

Definitely “white house” shall remain if they are of course appealing to Barry’s crack-addiction and love of white-boys.

ManchuCandidate June 17, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Some new button slogans:
“Only Steers and Queers Come from Texas.”
“Here I am squatting and flexing about to give birth to another Texan.”

NoWireHangers June 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Technically, it would be half white and half black.

Cicada June 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm

I suppose we could call it the President’s “crib”. I heard that’s what the coloreds say nowadays.

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm

every time something like this shows up, I want to give money to Hopey.
His winning would be so sweet in the face of evil crap like this. Maybe in the meantime, we can find the manufacturer and neuter him.

LanceReddy June 17, 2008 at 1:33 pm

My “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up” file has officially overflowed …

Cicada June 17, 2008 at 1:33 pm

Given the changing demographics of our country, I’m glad that the GOP is opting out of a future for their party.

More overt racism, please!

obfuscator June 17, 2008 at 1:33 pm

Racism aside, that’s not even half a joke. It sounds like something an unfunny 5th grader would come up with. Truly pathetic.

loudmouthredhead June 17, 2008 at 1:33 pm

[re=17894]ManchuCandidate[/re]: +1 I’m making your second one into a button… just fo’ me!

Vanity Smurf June 17, 2008 at 1:34 pm

And when the Governor’s Mansion is rebuilt and Rick Perry moves back in will we call it a bath house?

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 1:34 pm

[re=17897]NoWireHangers[/re]: The Cafe au Lait House!

NoWireHangers June 17, 2008 at 1:35 pm

If WALNUTS! is president will the White House smell like urine, distribute pills at 4PM, and will visitors only stop by once every 4-6 months?

mookworthjwilson June 17, 2008 at 1:35 pm

If the grumpus wins, can we call it a convalescent home???

freakishlystrong June 17, 2008 at 1:36 pm

At least they’re equally Offensive

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm

This purported button…I’m having trouble believing this is true. It is just so completely…STUPID…ARGH! I want to hit them.

JSDC007 June 17, 2008 at 1:38 pm

They’re right, those funny Republican steer inseminators.

It aint the White House no mo’; its the “House that Whitey Built.”

So dance to this song, Texan Whiteys:

We’re movin’ on up…

Movin’ on up . . .

To the “House that Whitey built.”

The Real JR Revisted June 17, 2008 at 1:38 pm

Actually, it was called the “Executive Mansion” until T Roosevelt started calling it the White House at the turn of the 20th Century. I guess it stuck since those people back then loved irony until it bit them in the asses come ’29.

AngryBlakGuy June 17, 2008 at 1:38 pm

…well we didn’t call it a trailer park when “W” and Laura moved in, so YES it will still be called the FUKKIN White House dikk heads!

XOMuffintop June 17, 2008 at 1:39 pm

[re=17907]obfuscator[/re]: Actually, I had to listen to this same line about three months ago when I explained to a wingnut coworker that not only was a godless liberal but one that was supporting the half black guy. When he made the comment I simply blinked my eye for like 45 seconds and walked away. If this is what the right has come to, we shall have a Republican free White House in our future.

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm

[re=17897]NoWireHangers[/re]: The Gray House? The Mulatto Mansion?

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm

[re=17916]freakishlystrong[/re]: I find the pin more than offensive, actually. It is deeply disturbing.
Maybe because it is the 10th anniversary of James Byrd’s murder, and I have that in mind.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/chronicle/5823669.html

Botswana Meat Commission FC June 17, 2008 at 1:42 pm

[re=17906]Cicada[/re]:
3 Whore Diamonds.

I’ve been telling everyone I know (in other words, boring them to death) that all this Close the Borders and Uppity Negro stuff by Republicans is just going to fuck them over in 25 years when our kids all look like Brazilians and start learning Mandarin/Hindi in the fifth grade.

But Barry Hussein might lose some White, blue collar voters in Appalachia. Oh noes.

El Bombastico June 17, 2008 at 1:43 pm

[re=17898]Cicada[/re]: I do look forward to the “Cribs” episode where Barry opens up the doors to the MTV cameras. How much Cristal can the White House refrigerator hold? Find out next.

“These is my minks.”

crookedE June 17, 2008 at 1:43 pm

Texas: The Lone Brain Cell State

AngryBlakGuy June 17, 2008 at 1:43 pm

[re=17907]obfuscator[/re]: …well developmentally Republican have minds of 5th graders! Why else do think they are always trying to screw 12 year olds?!

donner_froh June 17, 2008 at 1:44 pm

[re=17923]XOMuffintop[/re]: If this is what the right has come to, we shall have a Republican free White House in our future.

They haven’t come to anything. They have always been this disgusting but panic over President Obama strips off their thin coating of civilized behavior.

AxmxZ June 17, 2008 at 1:47 pm

You can call it whatever you want, but you’ll still have to go in through the back door.

confusionanddelay< June 17, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Easy, Bubba. If Hopey wins, the White House will turn a glowing mocha and shoot sparkly rainbows night and day. It makes me downright giddy to learn of so many bitter racist panties all wadded up over the prospect of my mulatto boyfriend winning the presidency. I wonder how many dangerous blood pressure elevations Barry is causing among the bigfatredneck set?

mookworthjwilson June 17, 2008 at 1:48 pm

[re=17914]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Damn…some guy on america blog beat me to that one…i did not copy it…I swear!!!

problemwithcaring June 17, 2008 at 1:49 pm

This is silly season, folks. White people don’t worry one bit about what the White House will be called: they still worry about him painting it black.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxl4lQ8tmdM

ronaldpagan June 17, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Good lord. Although after Obama won the nomination I was singing “I see a White House and I want to paint it black.” But that is totally different.

metropolitan June 17, 2008 at 1:50 pm

you can call it “Da White House”

AxmxZ June 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm

[re=17911]Doglessliberal[/re]: The Mocha Latte House. The entire West Wing will be turned into a lounge for Harvard and University of Chicago students, professors and alums. The Secret Service might have to use occasional force in separating brawlers trying to determine with fisticuffs whether Herodotus or Thucydides was the first historian.

Deepthroat June 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm

oh. dear. god.

I actually hadn’t remembered the rape “joke” or the Chelsea joke either. When can we start rounding up all the redneck, white trash, ignorant, irrational, racist, homophobic, sexist, bible-thumping fucking PHILISTINES and begin the cleansing!?!?

P.S. I’m mad.

TGY June 17, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Just so long as we know where everybody stands. Uh-huh.

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 1:54 pm

[re=17956]Deepthroat[/re]: Those boys need to get hit. Hard.

problemwithcaring June 17, 2008 at 1:54 pm

[re=17953]metropolitan[/re]: or ‘Da Spot’ for short.

Guppy06 June 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm

As long as McCain losing is inevitable, they might as well lie there and enjoy it.

AxmxZ June 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Speaking of the Texas GOP, my mom recently emailed me a child’s treasury of concerns about Barack’s “terrorist friend” who supposedly blew up the Pentagon on September 11th. When I inquired as to where she got that breaking news from, she said it was from a woman who helped organize Bush’s Texas campaign in 2004. I almost told her to go tell that bitch to suck a donkey dick, but she raised me too well.

tsunami June 17, 2008 at 1:57 pm

isn’t it obvious…thugz mansion.

Servo June 17, 2008 at 1:58 pm

[re=17953]metropolitan[/re]:
You mean “Da White Crib”.

shortsshortsshorts June 17, 2008 at 2:01 pm

[re=17953]metropolitan[/re]: “Royal Villa Ryadh?”

AxmxZ June 17, 2008 at 2:02 pm

[re=17943]confusionanddelay<[/re]: I’m looking forward to reading about a wave of strokes and heart attacks decimating the redneck populations on November 4th.

obfuscator June 17, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=17966]AxmxZ[/re]:

My dad recently informed me that my uncle in Kansas is “sure that Obama is a Muslim”. He’s not sure how he knows, he’s just “sure”.

freakishlystrong June 17, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=17925]Doglessliberal[/re]: I find this disturbing as well, but, unfortunately, not surprising. I mean, they’re selling monkey sock puppets dress like Obama fer Chrissakes, they referred to Michelle as “Obama’s Baby Mama”, instead of getting angry, I sadly, can only consider the source.

edgydrifter June 17, 2008 at 2:05 pm

No, it’ll be called the Muslim House. Morans.

gjdodger June 17, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Shouldn’t the button say, “When Obama is President…”?

XOMuffintop June 17, 2008 at 2:07 pm

[re=17931]donner_froh[/re]: Touche.

slavojzizek June 17, 2008 at 2:09 pm

Maybe the Texas Republicans have just been listening to “Chocolate City” by P-Funk: “They still call it the White House, but we’re working on that!”

yes, we can (drink heavily) June 17, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Halfrican Hut

RaptorAvatar June 17, 2008 at 2:25 pm

If a Texan thinks… Is he still a Texan?

[re=17894]ManchuCandidate[/re]: So you also saw weeds last night?

sarcasticusername June 17, 2008 at 2:28 pm

clearly he’ll turn it into his own personal pimped out mosque where him and his muslim buddies can pray five times a day.

norbizness June 17, 2008 at 2:31 pm

[re=17952]ronaldpagan[/re]: Well, that was just “a” white house. George Clinton was going to do up the whole thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxl4lQ8tmdM

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 2:34 pm

Why should the Repugnantcans stop with the button?

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2361/2066116818_74caa937a8.jpg

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Servo June 17, 2008 at 2:35 pm

So Obama’s the Fresh Prince of DC?

norbizness June 17, 2008 at 2:42 pm

[re=18049]Servo[/re]: [to McCain] Yo homes, smell ya later!

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 2:44 pm

[re=18061]norbizness[/re]…cracker…it’s Holmes ;-)

Buffy and Hildegard June 17, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Okay with all the Texan jokes, people. Please amend to “Texas Republicans.” Also, I bought a button at the Texas Democratic convention last week that said “Hard Working White Person For Obama.” Is that racialist as well? I’m kind of afraid to wear it.

Deepthroat June 17, 2008 at 2:50 pm

[re=18066]Q2[/re]: Actually, five out of six lame lyrics websites cite the lyric as “homes” contrary to my own personal opinion. Just thought i’d let everyone know since this is such a critical piece of popculture history.

edgydrifter June 17, 2008 at 2:52 pm

[re=18071]Buffy and Hildegard[/re]: From a distance, does the button resemble a bullseye?

guerilla-nation June 17, 2008 at 2:54 pm

not to sound like the dixie clits, but that kinda makes me ashamed to be a texan. that and george bush and halliburton and rick perry, etc., etc., etc.

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=18073]Deepthroat[/re]: Sheesh…so many people out there are Qlueless.

Buffy and Hildegard June 17, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=18076]edgydrifter[/re]: No — but there is a weird ticking noise…

Botswana Meat Commission FC June 17, 2008 at 2:55 pm

[re=17970]tsunami[/re]:
That’s a great song.

capitol-hillbilly June 17, 2008 at 3:05 pm

when bush is no longer president, will we still call it the nuthouse?

Count Snarkula June 17, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Oh God…I thought that was an urban legend. As a resident of the only liberal hold-out in the state (Austin), PLEASE do not judge all Texans by those gawd-awful republican holes. Though there are parts of the state that even I won’t travel to even though I am a white man, (because I am also the Gay). The REAL nazis in this state are the rich and hateful ex-Californians who moved to Dallas and the burbs when Orange County became “too liberal”.

Truculent June 17, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Huge subs on the Truman balcony, spinners on the limo, and pouring out 40′s at Arlington on Memorial Day, right Texas? Are you sure this is legit?

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 3:26 pm

[re=17992]freakishlystrong[/re]: yeah, I just was having a low moment, and it was hard to do so, but you are right. Hell, if HE can deal with this shit, I, a white woman, really should be able to hold it together.

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 3:28 pm

[re=18029]sarcasticusername[/re]: I am laughing out loud at the concept of “pimped out mosque”. Will the hot chicks from the BET videos be there, just in burquas? They are hot underneath the burquas, we assume.

obfuscator June 17, 2008 at 3:28 pm

I wish someone would mess with Texas.

jjgittes June 17, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=17955]AxmxZ[/re]:

Apropos of nothing:

Herodotus or Thucydides? Look no further!

http://www.katebeaton.com/Site/Welcome.html (Scroll down to “The Father of Lies”, although I find the ones on Garfield, Tintin and the Northwest Passage also hilariously funny.)

Yes, I’m a huge Chicago nerd. Help me.

S.Luggo June 17, 2008 at 3:32 pm

[re=17921]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: But we could have called it “The Crack House” or, at the vary least, vacant.

S.Luggo June 17, 2008 at 3:34 pm

[re=17924]Q2[/re]: Al Jezzera on the Potomac

asgardshill June 17, 2008 at 3:39 pm

How is the message on the button racist? It makes no value judgement about any race over any other, it doesn’t advocate discrimination of any kind, nor does it demean or insult members of any particular race. Call the message it bears juvenile and stupid because I certainly do, but lets reserve the term “racist” for truly racist things.

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 3:40 pm

You know, once he moves in and turns us all Muslim, the incidence of melanoma might just plummet because of all the cloth covering up our sinful flesh.
This could be bad for the dermatologists and sunblock manufacturers.

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 3:42 pm

[re=18151]S.Luggo[/re]: Chalet De Ter Ror

See! See! I combined the French elitism with da terror lovin’ Barry.

Or maybe: Terror Baracks

OH NO! What if Walnutz wins? Would it become…”Castle Cuntalicious?”

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 3:42 pm

[re=18159]asgardshill[/re]: assuming you are not kidding, it it not worth the breath it would take to try to explain this to you. Go back to stroking your TruckNutz. If you are kidding, I am sorry for assuming otherwise. (You still can stroke your TruckNutz, if you’d like)

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 3:44 pm

[re=18159]asgardshill[/re]: Disagree. It’s only value is making a point of Barry’s dermatone.

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 3:47 pm

[re=18169]Q2[/re]: ok, so you explained it quite well in few words. Nicely done. I am Ms. Crankypants today, I guess.

jjgittes June 17, 2008 at 3:48 pm

[re=18169]Q2[/re]:

Or, more subtly: he’s BLACK, get it?

BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACKETY BLACK HURR HURRRRR

sarcasticusername June 17, 2008 at 3:54 pm

@Doglessliberal: of course, barry wouldn’t have it anyway. watch out for michelle to turn up at barry’s inauguration with nothing but her angry black woman eyes visible through her burqua and those two little girls of theirs and their new mccain aged husbands too. the obamas are in the house y’all!

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 3:59 pm

[re=18163]Q2[/re]: HOPEY HOUSE!

AxmxZ June 17, 2008 at 4:00 pm

[re=18144]jjgittes[/re]: GAH HAH HAH!! South Side represent! Herodotus was a rumor-monger.

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 4:01 pm

[re=18192]sarcasticusername[/re]: I see a sitcom here….

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Or (with a nod to BOTH da Ameximericans and da Takfirs): Hopey’s Harem Hacienda of Terror

Whatever. But what shall they call Air Force One?

AfroForce One?

asgardshill June 17, 2008 at 4:05 pm

[re=18164]Doglessliberal[/re]: So in other words, you can’t show how it is racist, only that you think it is. Got it.

[re=18164]Q2[/re]: So what? Stupid jokes have no value – that’s why they’re called “stupid jokes.” But that doesn’t make them racist.

shortsshortsshorts June 17, 2008 at 4:17 pm

[re=18210]asgardshill[/re]: Racist.

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 4:19 pm

[re=18210]asgardshill[/re]: No, I don’t need to “show” anything. I am not going to bother to try. Better and more patient posters than I have explained it above as simply as it can be for you.

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 4:21 pm

[re=18206]Doglessliberal[/re]: Yes. Perhaps a Jeffersons/24/Cosby/Reality show. Starring — LADIES & GENTLEMEM….MEET THE O B A M A ‘S!

Well we’re movin on up!
From the South Side.
To a deluxe crib of great fame!
Movin on up!
From the South Side.
We finally on board da gravy train!

Doglessliberal June 17, 2008 at 4:22 pm

[re=18235]Q2[/re]: watch for the Very Special Episode when the wacky Kenyan relatives drop in unexpectedly! Hijinks ensue!

Q2 June 17, 2008 at 4:37 pm

[re=18239]Doglessliberal[/re]…

Hope don’t fly in the senate;
Truth gonna burn on the hill.
Took a whole lotta tryin’
Hope it don’t amount to nill.
Now we’re up in teh big leagues
Gettin’ our turn at bat.
As long as we live, it’s me and M baby
There ain’t nothin wrong with that!

Cranky Little Camperette June 17, 2008 at 4:39 pm

[re=18144]jjgittes[/re]: Good show, sir! I was reading Kate Beaton earlier today and not only was amused by a second “Herodotus v. Thucydides” reference, but to reference the very material I was reading! Bravo, indeed!

Please get out of my head now, ‘k? The Camperette needs some “Me” time.

wallythepug June 17, 2008 at 4:42 pm

It’s obviously just so they can meet their flair quota at the restaurant where they wait tables.

jjgittes June 17, 2008 at 4:58 pm

[re=18249]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]:

Oh God. It’s like a mutiny of prevert nerds up in here.

Pretty soon we’ll all be playing Settlers of Catan while talking about this or that article in the New Yorker over DJ Shadow or old TMBG albums. And I’ve actually disgusted myself by typing that. (Well, OK, it’s what *I’d* want to do with my time. Sheesh. I’ll bring the beer.)

Or we could simply make fun of people on the internets who don’t get what “race-baiting” means.

AnnieGetYourFun June 17, 2008 at 4:59 pm

Ack! The Stupid! It burns!

Deepthroat June 17, 2008 at 5:02 pm

[re=18159]asgardshill[/re]: Actually, asgardshill is right; on a purly objective vacuum-sealed level. HOWEVER, given that we live in the society that we do, interacting with people and history and all the rest of reality around us, we must take the connotations of the message into account too. Perhaps the button-makers are simply ignorant in the truest sense of the word; but we must also take history and common sense which implies a racist suggestion. And fuck, i have to run away from work now so it’s been short and sweet…

mothermaven June 17, 2008 at 5:04 pm

[re=18120]Count Snarkula[/re]: I can vouch that there are liberals in Texas — especially where there are universities. Texas created Ma Richards, Jim Hightower, and Molly Ivins.

Count Snarkula June 17, 2008 at 5:12 pm

[re=18276]mothermaven[/re]: Excellent choices; thank you. And Liz Smith!

ladymacbeth June 17, 2008 at 5:15 pm

[re=18144]jjgittes[/re]: chicago nerds are hot. and always have been.

XOMuffintop June 17, 2008 at 5:19 pm

[re=17928]El Bombastico[/re]: And will the plasma screen all have Scarface on them or will one or teo have the West Wing playing just to keep it all “political and shizz.”

shortsshortsshorts June 17, 2008 at 5:27 pm

When all the blacks are kicked out of New Orleans to make room for new development by an elitist few, will we still call it New Orleans?

Scarab June 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm

In Texas if you say “Nigroes” you’re called a liberal.

AxmxZ June 17, 2008 at 5:57 pm

[re=18293]ladymacbeth[/re]: University of Chicago: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

nhunter June 17, 2008 at 5:59 pm

Any chance of all y’all stoppin’ doggin’ on the Great State of Texas when we send Rick Noriega to Washington instead of John Cornyn?

confusionanddelay< June 17, 2008 at 6:04 pm

[re=18293]ladymacbeth[/re]: It’s nice that somebody thinks so.

Count Snarkula June 17, 2008 at 6:22 pm

[re=18361]nhunter[/re]: I am guessing not, because one Rick Noriega will not erase the Bush we sent up. But at least it is a step in the right direction…

legglaw June 17, 2008 at 6:41 pm

Its the 2116 Democratic Convention in Dallas (I know, i know, but we can dream…). The camera pans the crowd and focuses on the dais. President Obama steps to the podium and says, “Where all the white women?” 400 white wimmens from Highland Park scream and then take off their bra’s, tossing them onto the stage. Then 50 Cent and Mrs. 50 Cent, (the former Kay Bailey Hutchinson) perform their latest duet. Tony Romo and his new gal, Mary J. Blige, burn a Dallas Cowboy flag. Finally, the Texas delegation rises to nominate the next president, Senor George Lopez who will sell Texas back to Mexico. Good riddance.

Lazy Media June 17, 2008 at 7:13 pm

[re=17943]confusionanddelay<[/re]: What is this ‘if’ stuff, peoplez? Hopey has it in the bag, and it really doesn’t matter what happens between now and November. Self-identified Democrats outnumber Republicans about 3-2, and Republicanism is about as easy to sell as a Hummer I these days.

Add to that the fact that he’s an ungodly great campaigner (and the Ancient Mariner ain’t), and there’s no need for qualifiers. Barring Hillary on a rooftop, we’z gonna have a preznit living in the Unicorn Stable come January.

Lazy Media June 17, 2008 at 7:18 pm

[re=18066]Q2[/re]: Watchootalkinbout, Willis? I mean, Will pronounces “holmes,” but the word is homes, as in home boy, as in the gent from my hometown.

Interesting path that word had, since it started with Latinos, was picked up by blacks (and transformed from homes to homie, home boy, etc.) and eventually, inevitably, made dorky by whitey.

Q June 17, 2008 at 8:05 pm

[re=18435]Lazy Media[/re]: I stand Qorrected, Sir!…err…M’aam!…err…whatever!

confusionanddelay< June 17, 2008 at 9:07 pm

[re=18432]Lazy Media[/re]: I am a pathologically superstitious pessimist. I will cling to my ‘if he wins’ because I know in my less than rational soul that once I get all confident he’ll be fucked.

heathenish June 18, 2008 at 1:33 am

if McCaine wins will we call it the Resthome?

Cranky Little Camperette June 18, 2008 at 11:47 am

[re=18268]jjgittes[/re]: Um, how old is an old TMBG album? Mine are all on tape.

schvitzatura June 19, 2008 at 2:23 am

Brilliant!

http://www.networksolutions.com/whois/results.jsp?domain=Republicanmarket.com

Administrative Contact :
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jonathan@republicanmarket.com
1741 Cherry Ridge Drive
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Phone: 407 333 2983

Operators are standing by…

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