Once upon a time there was a man named Jessie “The Body” Ventura. He made money wrestling, and then he shaved his head and ran for governor of Minnesota. And he actually won! Then he made some crazy remarks about hunting and other stuff, and eventually he left office, and now he divides his time between “just chillin’” in Minnesota and surfing in Latin American war zones. And now he thinks he might enter Minnesota’s upcoming Senate race, because if Al Franken can do it, anybody can.
According a gentleman named Dean Barkley, the dude Ventura appointed to finish the term of Paul Wellstone after he died in a plane crash, Ventura is seriously considering a Senate run. Of course, 60 percent of respondents to a recent poll said he shouldn’t do it, but that won’t stop this crazy guy!
After all, he would be running against Al Franken, who was funny that one time, and Norm Coleman, who is a terrible man with a sexy robot wife.
Barkley likes odds of Ventura Senate run [StarTribune.com]
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Isn’t Ventura, in addition to everything else, a 9/11 truther?
He’d be a much more credible candidate than Franken. And, for all of us who endured Franken’s shitty show on Air America, definately funnier.
[re=20182]Jobbotch[/re]: Not only that, judging by his incredibly stylish beard, he is evil incarnate. Truth and Gnashing ’08!
Don’t worry, Flash Gordon will stop him.
At the risk of having my wonk card pulled, what the hell political party is he in?
his transformation into the goyim Kinky Friedman is nearly complete.
But why did you post that picture of Rob Reiner dressed up as the devil?
[re=20182]Jobbotch[/re]:
Actually, I’d support him if he’d start wearing sequins in his chin-ass again.
[re=20189]MoodProcessor[/re]: Alternately, he may be one of those aliens from “Battlefield Earth”. Either way, I’m down.
[re=20189]MoodProcessor[/re]: Ming the Minnesotan.
what’s charles manson doing these days?
[re=20191]Walter Sobchak[/re]: The Jesse Ventura is Awesome party…he is its only member…
And what do we have to do to get him to “move out of the country” as the picture hints at?
Well, if elected to the Senate, he did promise to solve the Kennedy assassination. Both of them, actually. Um…. all three if you count John John.
And to make the trains run on time.
Paultards UNITE!
jesse, surfin’ on charlie’s uncrowded waves is much better than swimming in the DC cesspool. trust me. i like the new ‘do though.
>>Of course, 60 percent of respondents to a recent poll said he shouldn’t do it, but that won’t stop this crazy guy!
The other 40% consisting of the Republican Senatorial Campaign Committee.
We need more senators with Fu Manchu facial decor. We should require it of all senators, even the women.
[re=20202]tsunami[/re]:
Absofuckinglutely nothing other than singing about the garbage dump. Thank Jeebus!
[re=20207]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Well, the primary shouldn’t be too much trouble for him, then.
[re=20196]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I think I just pissed myself laughing.
[re=20191]Walter Sobchak[/re]: He was Reform Party, I don’t know if he still is.
[re=20191]Walter Sobchak[/re]: He’s a Paultard, and he hates parties (his own words). HOWEVER he gave a huge bag of money to Ross Perot for some gawd-awful reason.
Jesse Ventura ’08 – The Pleasure was Yours
Listen up, America! You’ve already denied me the sublime pleasure of seeing a dwarf with a marlin gaff for a hand serving in the US Senate–I DEMAND you elect Jesse the Merciless!
I saw Jesse on Dan Abrams recently and my first thought was he sounds mentally retarded. But if you listen to what he says, it’s brilliant. They were talking about gay marriage, and Pat Buchanan said let the people decide, not unelected judges. Ventura said that’s ridiculous, you don’t put civil rights issues up to a vote, because if you did, a lot of Southern states would be restoring slavery. He actually said that, it was great. Constitutionally guaranteed civil rights are matters for courts precisely because they can be unpopular.
http://politicsfromtheasylum.blogspot.com/2008/05/jesse-vantura-on-gay-marriage-and.html
Awesome! A 9/11 truther who looks like a Klingon running for senate. Way to spice put that political scene in DC, Minnesota.
[re=20250]Uncle Al[/re]: I try to tell my Fox News loving father in law that all the time…and his response is “I’m for civil rights and not for slavery, but I’m not for gay marriage, it’s not a civil right”…Fucking annoying…especially since he was in California on business when the decision came down and that’s all he wanted to talk about…I had to just walk away…
I never knnew that Porthos was bald. Is that why he wore a big floppy hat? But the sword? The French accent? Explain yourself, sir.
He’s actually become more incoherent and shithouse-mouse insane since he started chaneling Carlos Casteneda and living in the Mexican desert, Uncle Al notwithstanding. Recall, people, that the guy was elected because, 1). his opponent was Humpty Dumpty Humphrey, and 2). Minnesota has same-day voter registration, so he sent buses around to the bars to round up all the guys drinking at 10 AM, get ‘em registered, have ‘em vote, and get back to the bar beforer their beers went flat.
The guy is not an eccentric genius or the new Voltaire. He’s a marginally intelligent, former pro wrestler with all the brain damage that comes with that, who couldn’t organize a one-car funeral procession without the help of multiple advisors.
[re=20191]Walter Sobchak[/re]: Klingon
[re=20217]4tehlulz[/re]: If Jessee gets 40% of the vote, you can call him Senator Crazy.
[re=20250]Uncle Al[/re]: Truthfully, on the merits Jessee wasn’t a bad governor at all–a lot better than Pawlenty. It’s too bad he sounded like a cretin out of a Cohen brothers movie.
[re=20196]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
You’re right, he looks like the Star Trek Mirror Mirror universe version of Rob Reiner.
Is his son Nick still in jail for that car crash thing?
[re=20218]vicuna[/re]: The Fu Manchu was basically the only thing that registered with me in the whole post. It was like, whoa. Slick.
[re=20274]WadISay[/re]: And I do believe he’s the only governor to have appeared on the X-Files, which is nice.
In better days: http://cybersybils.com/BijLou.jpg
Can you imagine the Independent caucus in the Senate?
Jesse: “I’ll bust your head.”
Vinegar Joe: “I’ll bomb your Arabs.”
Bernie Sanders: “I’ll redistribute your wealth.”
Was Hulk Hogan busy.
Ventura is a nimrod. The only “run” he should be considering is running away from holding any type of political office ever again for all of our lifetimes.
[re=20347]thefrontpage[/re]: Its all hype to push his new book, although the comic relief in the senate would be refreshing.
[re=20186]stinkhairstu[/re]: Truthers leave their credibility at the door. Pretty much the only good thing he was for was decriminalization of consensual crimes.
[re=20274]WadISay[/re]:
Agreed. Jesse managed to surround himself with talent and mostly stay out of their way but then almost anything is better than Pawlenty. I’m sort of hoping he’ll run because the Norman/Frankin/TheBody debates will be hilarious must see teevee.
Since voting is largeley about choosing a brand that you like and hoping they surround themselves with smart people, I kind of hope he runs and wins. Plus, even when 9-11 truthers are wrong, you get a sense of who has bodies buried in their yard cause they all start pawing the ground.
“Plus, even when 9-11 truthers are wrong, you get a sense of who has bodies buried in their yard cause they all start pawing the ground.”
I can’t stand them because they’re right that some people do pull the strings of what politicians and the media say and do, but it’s
1) not so organized
2) not a conspiracy so much as lazy journalism and a horrible media management that would rather appeal to the reality tv crowd and 24/7 “human interest” stories more regurgitated than investigated
3) even worse when they get things RIGHT, because they intersperse their complaints with ZOG/Bohemian Grove/Bilderbergerererer/Illuminati babblings, misplace the blame, and turn people off from caring.
The problem is still primarily an uncaring, kneejerk and undereducated populace, but these jokers aren’t helping anything.
[re=20268]Truculent[/re]: As for his electability:
Plus side — The gun-hoarding Bitters down at the local bar liked his “man-hunting” style.
Minus side — He pointed out that Religion (so tightly clung to by the Bitters) is “for the weak-minded”.
Probably would draw more from Coleman than from Franken.
[re=20417]Kingbee[/re]: When “The Body” brags about his Navy SEAL days, he often forgets to mention that he spent most of his time as a supply sargeant. Got through the training, to his credit, but he’s no Jack Bauer
OK, Alaska has their “Bridge to nowhere.”
Florida will have their own “bridge to nowhere.”
All funded by the Federal Government, Thanks Ted Stevens [R-AK]
If Jessie ‘used to have a body’ Ventura manages to get hisself elected,
will Minnesota someday have its very own “Ventura Highway to Nowhere?”
“He’s actually become more incoherent and shithouse-mouse insane since he started chaneling Carlos Casteneda and living in the Mexican desert, Uncle Al notwithstanding. Recall, people, that the guy was elected because, 1). his opponent was Humpty Dumpty Humphrey, and 2). Minnesota has same-day voter registration, so he sent buses around to the bars to round up all the guys drinking at 10 AM, get ‘em registered, have ‘em vote, and get back to the bar beforer their beers went flat.”
This last is pretty much how colonial and early republic campaigning worked.
‘The guy is not an eccentric genius or the new Voltaire. He’s a marginally intelligent, former pro wrestler”
US politics is pretty much like pro-wrestling anyway.
“with all the brain damage that comes with that, who couldn’t organize a one-car funeral procession without the help of multiple advisors.”
Is this any different than the average member of Congress now? At least he’s not a incompetent lawyer or pseudo-businessman. Maybe he’ll have chutzpah to put the Busheviks on trial and in jail for 50 years.
Zhu Bajie
BBC World Service interviewed him a year or so ago about Minnesota politics, in a series on regional politics in the USA. He sounded more rational than the average politician, although he is sensitive when asked how real pro-wrestling is. It’s as real as ballet, he says; again, fairly rational.
You could do a lot worse, and probably have.
Zhu Bajie
Proly Jim “Hacksaw” Dugan’s next, I bet.
I don’t know about you, but I’d like to see some Stevie Wonder beads in the beard.
Ventura is a true American hero and has full Gormogon backing.
PS. Cheney killed Wellstone.
FINALLY! A political figure I can trust!!!!!
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