• February 14, 2012

My head hurts.If the global collective unconscious may be likened to a vast, roiling ocean, then your average American voter’s mental workings are a fetid kiddie pool with a half-deflated beach ball bobbing around the perimeter. So what better way to plumb voters’ depths than to ask them to shout out whatever word comes into their head whenever they hear some other word?

An AP/Yahoo News poll reveals that when voters hear “John McCain,” they involuntarily holler “old,” while “Barack Obama” elicits orgasmic cries of “change.” Also, voters tend to think John McCain is tuff while Obama is warm and cuddly.

Clinton voters don’t like Obama any more now than they did in November, but of course in November none of them even knew who he was. Now that they know he is the NOOBZAMA CRUSHER OF DREAMZ who subverted Democracy by failing to RESPECT A WOMEN, it is kind of surprising that they don’t dislike him more than ever.

But John McCain will win the election because he is 9 percentage points more popular than the Republican party, whose collective approval ratings rest somewhere between Ghengis Khan and Bill Buckner.

In conclusion, surveys r dumb.

Old Guy vs Change: McCain, Obama Images Take Shape [AP]

{ 30 comments }

Quacker July 7, 2008 at 12:25 pm

You say, “Bush” and I say “shaved.”

Trollop July 7, 2008 at 12:26 pm

Dammit Wonketeers, we’re not doing our jobs. If by November the first word that comes to voters mind when they hear “John McCain” isn’t “cunt,” then we have all failed.

weirdiowasculpture July 7, 2008 at 12:29 pm

I just tried it. When I think “Obama” I get “interracial porn.” Unfortunately, I get the same thing when I think of McCain. I think my brain has turned into the internet.

shortsshortsshorts July 7, 2008 at 12:31 pm

[re=30301]Trollop[/re]: You say “Wonkette” but I hear “Truck NUTZ.”

Q2 July 7, 2008 at 12:32 pm

Republican >> Trucknutz Slurper!

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 7, 2008 at 12:33 pm

[re=30302]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: I dare you to try “Clinton”

Lascauxcaveman July 7, 2008 at 12:33 pm

When I hear the word “Wonkette” the word that pops into my mind is “threadjack” so, what the hell, here goes:

Vincent Bugliosi is my fucking HERO: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/books/2008035063_bugliosi070.html

MoodProcessor July 7, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Q: Would you vote for John McCain?
A: Depends.

Nasara July 7, 2008 at 12:34 pm

I think this study is bogus. Usually, when you ask an average American anything, the first thing he thinks of is “McDonald’s!”

kudzu July 7, 2008 at 12:38 pm

Cindy = Cunt

RuperttheBear July 7, 2008 at 12:38 pm

McCain = I turn purple with rage and kick my dog

Brutus Harlot July 7, 2008 at 12:39 pm

I hear McCain and I holler “older than the peanut butter and jelly sandwich!”

Brutus Harlot July 7, 2008 at 12:40 pm

[re=30310]Nasara[/re]: That’s why I think http://www.365black.com when I hear Obama.

NoWireHangers July 7, 2008 at 12:45 pm

[re=30315]Brutus Harlot[/re]: Re: that website
“like the unique African Baobab tree, which nourishes its community with its leaves and fruit, McDonald’s has branched out into the African-American community nourishing it with valuable programs and opportunities.”

What…the…..FUCK?

S.Luggo July 7, 2008 at 12:47 pm

When I hear Time on line, I think it's.

WadISay July 7, 2008 at 12:52 pm

[re=30315]Brutus Harlot[/re]: I love it: “Deeeply rooted in the community. TM”

FreshCliches July 7, 2008 at 12:52 pm

When I hear McCain, I say, “cunt!”

When I hear Hillary, I say, “cunt!”

When I hear Obama, I say, “Marxist cunt!”

(I blame it COCKSUCKER on the Tourette’s MOTHERFUCKER.)

TGY July 7, 2008 at 12:56 pm

We’re going to be fucked in the ass again, aren’t we?

anabellum July 7, 2008 at 12:59 pm

i object to this use of liberal pseudo-psychology to get poll results..

the old tried and true method using phrenology worked just fine…

freakishlystrong July 7, 2008 at 1:05 pm

[re=30336]TGY[/re]: Daily Anal Rape baby…

qwerty42 July 7, 2008 at 1:06 pm

Geeze, the Boston guys are still writing about Bill Buckner?

shortsshortsshorts July 7, 2008 at 1:08 pm

[re=30336]TGY[/re]: 200 years of assfucking and you still don’t feel it? My ass is to the point of hotdog down a hallway.

SayItWithWookies July 7, 2008 at 1:14 pm

[re=30318]NoWireHangers[/re]: They obviously never read “The Little Prince” — it should read, “like the Baobab, we will reach down into the heart of your tiny planet and rip it into little pieces.”

WonksRunAmuck July 7, 2008 at 1:32 pm

[re=30318]NoWireHangers[/re]: supporting the local economy one heart attack at a time.

AxmxZ July 7, 2008 at 1:58 pm

Obama = Cheburashka.

AngryBlakGuy July 7, 2008 at 2:59 pm

…why in the hell am I NEVER one of the people asked to take these polls!?!?!

John McCain = Bushes Bitch or Married to a C%nt!

Barack Obama = Pant Suit or Son of a Mill worker

Advocatus_Diaboli July 7, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Hmmm, when I hear “stupid poll” I usually think “stupid fucking poll”.

Odd Ass City July 7, 2008 at 3:49 pm

The Word Association test has a long and storied history. See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_NDqbnSFGs

Borat July 7, 2008 at 6:14 pm

[re=30421]AxmxZ[/re]: Are you tying to make fun of my pikture logo thing of Cheburashka? If you want me to change, please offer suggestions, like Karlsson.

Dreadful Gate July 7, 2008 at 8:55 pm

McCain = Suppurating pusbag
Obama = Hope boner
Clinton = Drakula Kunt

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