• February 14, 2012

Oh sure, the stylish basketball star and Ivy League lawyer Barack Obama is loved by all the Hollywood celebrities (and world leaders and leading billionaires and Bob Dylan and all the voters), but even weary old rape-humorist John McCain can claim a little bit of L.A. glitter. Do you remember the hit ’70s surfing sitcom Magnum P.I., about a crusty old Englishman and his mustachioed boy toy? No? Well, that guy (Tom Selleck) is one of, uh, four forgotten Hollywood starlets who have donated some money to McCain’s Titanic.

Also on the Celebrity Donation List: Tom Selleck’s wife, who shares both his last name and a love for John McCain’s war heroics.

Let’s see, who else? Oh yes, the maker of terrible blockbuster movies in the ’80s, Jerry Bruckheimer, he donated $5,000 to Walnuts! Their friendship goes back to the “golden age” of cinema, when Bruckheimer made a hit movie about McCain crashing a plane into Hawaii back in World War II.

The other celebrity who contributed to the campaign is infamous cocaine lunatic Kelsey Grammar, teevee’s “Kramer.”

All 4 Hollywood Republicans give to McCain — 2 Sellecks, 1 Grammer, 1 Bruckheimer [LAT Top of the Ticket]

{ 60 comments }

Doglessliberal July 22, 2008 at 2:10 pm

The scuttlebutt is now that Jindal is going to be announced as VP by the end of the week, so McCain will probably pick up all the prominent exorcists in Hollywood, too.

tunamelt July 22, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Do you mean Fraiser and not Kramer or is there just some joke I’m too tired to get?

SuperRounder July 22, 2008 at 2:11 pm

So McCain is popular with not only with old dudes, but old dudes who chase young chicks around. Congrats, WALNUTS! Will your campaign be sponsored by the Members Only people and the Combover Appreciation Society?

SayItWithWookies July 22, 2008 at 2:13 pm

So is Jerry Bruckheimer now the executive producer of the McCain campaign? He’s about due for a flop.

tunamelt July 22, 2008 at 2:14 pm

[re=41306]tunamelt[/re]: Pretend I wrote “Frasier.”

[re=41301]Doglessliberal[/re]: So, Mel Gibson.

tsunami July 22, 2008 at 2:16 pm

wilfred brimley.

Darehead July 22, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Jillie Mack Selleck? She’s not a celebrity, she’s just one of his wives.
And Dan Quayle’s $20,000 was meant to be $20.00, but he added an extra zero and got the comma and period all mixed up.

DrewDrago July 22, 2008 at 2:19 pm

Tom Selleck should spend less time with the politics and more time making women think that hairy chests are sexy again. That would be more beneficial to my situation at least.

shortsshortsshorts July 22, 2008 at 2:19 pm

I love how all the failed/washed up/going nowhere celebraties are all about WALNUTS.
These are endorsements that matter, peoplez.

PioBaroja July 22, 2008 at 2:19 pm

What, he couldn’t weasel something out of the cold dead hands of Charlton Heston?

NoWireHangers July 22, 2008 at 2:24 pm

Jerry Bruckheimer is still producing numerous box-office and teevee hits for people who enjoy mediocre crap: Pirates trilogy, Cold Case, all the CSIs, and National Treasure films.

Mahousu July 22, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Yow, from the picture in the L.A. Times, it looks like Tom Selleck’s toupee is starting to thin a bit at the edges. He should take it in for a tuneup.

freakishlystrong July 22, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Wow, that shot is TEH Gayezzt!

Doglessliberal July 22, 2008 at 2:28 pm

I just focused on the fact that Magnum there is wearing a sun visor. That is supremely dorky unless you are a lizard-skinned-tan 75 year old female tennis-playing retiree from Boca.

ForTheTurnstiles July 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm

I really dislike the San Diego Chargers now.

CrunchyKnee July 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=41315]tsunami[/re]: the die-uh-beet-us voter block!

Doglessliberal July 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=41312]tunamelt[/re]: would he dare go against his dad? Dad might get angry, and Nazi-sympathizing nutjobs are not really people you want to inflame.

Doglessliberal July 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm

[re=41337]Doglessliberal[/re]: I think we said the same thing.

Terry July 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm

[re=41322]DrewDrago[/re]:

Actually, I’m looking at that photo wondering why I used to have a Tom Selleck poster on my dorm room wall in college. Then again, that poster he did to support the US Olympic volleyball team in 1984 or so was hot.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 22, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[re=41301]Doglessliberal[/re]: Plus M. Night Shyamalan. And any people who still like his movies.

Lady in the White House! Signs of Aging! The Village Idiot has been a roaring success these last eight years. I can’t wait to see all the dead people in this next film!

NebraskashireGentry July 22, 2008 at 2:38 pm

Bruckheimer may have endorsed the guy but a donation of only $5,000 says to me that even he knows that the action-packed, mismatched (one a booze-fueled curmudgeon from the country club, the other a celibate Indian from the bayou) buddy comedy that will be McCain and Jindal’s run for the White House is a bad investment.

Scarab July 22, 2008 at 2:38 pm

Tom Selleck looks like that guy who starred in ’3 Men and a Little Lady’ but I’m pretty sure that was a porn film.

sanantonerose July 22, 2008 at 2:40 pm

[re=41322]DrewDrago[/re]: Hairy chests ARE sexy. I can’t stand all these hairless boy-men. If I’d wanted to touch a girl, I woulda become a lesbian, thank you very much. And I blame Magnum P.I. for my manfur fetish. I watched it quite raptly during my formative years.

lumpenprole July 22, 2008 at 2:45 pm

Tight Pants in Paradise
Tom Selleck Is Magnum, P.I. (Keats, Shelley, and firm, manly thighs)

Several more awesome pics

JSDC007 July 22, 2008 at 2:47 pm

Tom Selleck has a wife? Who’s a real biological female? And she gives money to Republicans? The next thing you know, the Village People dudes are going to turn Mormon and take on multiple FLDS mormon matrons as brides.

Slutty_Chola_Cobbler July 22, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Let’s not forget Chuck Norris and the Oscar winning actor, Sly Stallone.. Yes, Mr. Stallone who broke up with desperate Jennifer Flavin via fax. He now uses her botox to fix what roids have ruined.. You can see stiff face Jenny on HSN selling skincare.

I thought Tom Selleck was ummm… missing..

norbizness July 22, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Did they ever figure out what sort of alien symbiote was attacking Magnum, P.I.?

San Antone: So you’re saying sit at least three rows away during a Robin Williams movie marathon?

magic titty July 22, 2008 at 2:55 pm

I’m waiting until Guttenberg and Shirley from “What’s Happenin’” pick a side. Only then can I make an informed decision.

RaptorAvatar July 22, 2008 at 2:58 pm

[re=41325]PioBaroja[/re]: No, it’s not June anymore.

magic titty July 22, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Tom Selleck is still pissed he turned down the role of Indiana Jones to do that gay-ass teevee show. This is just him projecting.

confusionanddelay< July 22, 2008 at 3:09 pm

Somehow cokehead republicans are extra-hateable.

memphisheel July 22, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Don’t forget Pat Sajak! He’ll give McSame some money with which to buy a vowel or two.

The Station Manager July 22, 2008 at 3:13 pm

Hay guys, you mind if I vent about Bruckheimer real quick? Thanks, I knew you’d understand.

Anyway, I caught a rerun of this “Cold Case” show over the weekend. Seeing as I basically live under a rock when it comes to pop culture, I had no idea what it was about or who made it. It was horrible. Not just horrible, it was unwatchable. So unwatchable that I couldn’t stop watching it. Yes, it caused paradoxes.

The sappy music, the slow motion shots, the blue filter in every fucking shot. I seriously contemplated suicide, but then was worried that if somebody found my body, they might make an episode of this god awful show based on my death.

Whew, I feel much better now.

WhatTheHeck July 22, 2008 at 3:15 pm

There is a kind of old coot synergy at work here.
Say, for instance, if Selleck were to endorse Obama, he would be just another celebrity in a long line of celebrities waiting for an audience with his hopiness.
By endorsing McCain, Selleck gets immediate press coverage. (See, we are talking about him). Had it not been for Ken bringing this up, I would have assumed these old-timers were dead.

graceless July 22, 2008 at 3:15 pm

[re=41306]tunamelt[/re]: Didn’t Micheal Richards play “Kramer” on Seinfeild? What’s he doing these days?

graceless July 22, 2008 at 3:17 pm

by the by, boys and girls, Tom Selleck was born in 1945, he’s held up pretty well.

tunamelt July 22, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=41403]graceless[/re]: Forming lynch mobs?

Advocatus_Diaboli July 22, 2008 at 3:26 pm

On more reason to hate Jerry Bruckheimer.

That is all.

norbizness July 22, 2008 at 3:27 pm

He fucked Mae West in Myra Breckenridge! He battled Gene Simmons in Runaway! He was severely outacted by Laura San Giacomo in Quigley Down Under!

Tawmn July 22, 2008 at 3:28 pm

[re=41403]graceless[/re]: Michael Richards is now making a career of offending teh people of color.

sati demise July 22, 2008 at 3:37 pm

And they are all planning a McCain fundraiser at the condemned Club Med in San Carlos!

WIDTAP July 22, 2008 at 3:39 pm

Curiously Tom Selleck has no genitalia in that pic.

Scarab July 22, 2008 at 3:41 pm

[re=41380]magic titty[/re]: From the photo, he doesn’t project very far.

Jewdishoowary Square July 22, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Hey, remember back when mustaches were sexy? Me neither.

CollegeStudent July 22, 2008 at 3:55 pm

[re=41322]DrewDrago[/re]: here here
or is it?
hear hear
either way,
good call

Rusty Shackleford July 22, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Not surprising. Like Grandpa Walnuts!, none of those people have been especially relevant for the past 10-20 years. Sure Bruckheimer makes boatloads of money for the corporate multimedias, but his “creative output” is derivative, lowest denominator crap-ola. Kelsey Grammar should be kissing the butts of the “Cheers!” creators everyday for allowing him to parlay a guest role on one of the last decent sitcoms into one of the longest careers in TV. But his new sitcom is unwatchable, formulaic network poo. Tom Selleck replaced James Cahn in “Las Vegas” last season, but I have no idea who even watches that. He was mildly amusing in “Mr. Baseball,” but that was way back in 1990. And his guest turn on “Friends” as Monica’s doctor/borefriend was largely forgettable. He was okay in a Louis L’Amour miniseries a few years ago, in which he co-starred with … wait for it … Wilford Brimley! But if you’ve seen one of those, you’ve pretty much seen ‘em all.

sanantonerose July 22, 2008 at 4:05 pm

[re=41401]The Station Manager[/re]: I feel your pain.

sanantonerose July 22, 2008 at 4:06 pm

[re=41379]norbizness[/re]: Mmmm…Robin Williams is TOO hairy. I have my limits. There’s no sin in trimming.

TGY July 22, 2008 at 4:12 pm

The big money is from such notables as Dan Quayle. If Walnuts does not succeed, he runs the risk of failure.

magic titty July 22, 2008 at 4:37 pm

[re=41459]Scarab[/re]: In his defense…it’s chilly in Hawaii.

llyn July 22, 2008 at 4:53 pm

I cannot resist saying how sad it makes me every time I see Tom Selleck to think that a man so handsome and seemingly so charming is a Republican. (Also, hairy chests are quite wonderful. They will never go out of style.)

Outstando July 22, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Kelsey Grammar plays the asshole so effortlessly.

Outstando July 22, 2008 at 5:04 pm

[re=41569]llyn[/re]: Too-handsome men are vulnerable to attacks of the stupid. They come to see themselves as the most meritorious of our ostensible meritocracy. This, in turn, leads them to develop a confidence in their intuition, as successful men are entitled. Parades of women-as-objects, excessive spending on golf, and $400 million contracts for Rush Limbaugh ensue. The stupid just seeps in.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland July 22, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Dan Quayle?!!! First president of the National Space Council and third lapdog, after Boozer and Puddles, to Bush One? Phlebitis sufferer and signatory to the statement of principles of the Project for the New American Century?

Where’d HE get $20,000?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:DanQualyeBust.jpg

Oh, wait a sec….living in Arizona, drives a beer distributorship truck….ohhhhhhh.

Combover July 22, 2008 at 5:26 pm

[re=41307]SuperRounder[/re]: There’s a whole Society????!!!!

Dreadful Gate July 22, 2008 at 5:45 pm

Of course Tom Selleck is a republican. He’s gay, after all. Queer as three dollar bill. Light in the loafers. Jilly’s a beard.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez July 22, 2008 at 8:27 pm

Has Charles Nelson Riley chimed in?

DangerousLiberal July 22, 2008 at 8:28 pm

[re=41332]NoWireHangers[/re]: Didn’t Bruckheimer do 9/11? Doesn’t he hate America? http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28144

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez July 22, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Has anyone thought to ask Britney who she is endorsing?

Neilist July 23, 2008 at 2:17 am

[re=41355]sanantonerose[/re]: Did someone say “lesbian”?

If so, can I watch?

(Just as long as it’s not Mary Cheney or anything.)

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