Wonkette
The other day we mentioned Hillary Clinton’s latest attempt to win back $11 million of her $109 million fortune, the “Have Dinner With Hillary” contest. Today, Bill Clinton sent out another e-mail about the contest, and it’s gross. He writes, “Of all the people I’ve had the privilege to break bread with, the person I most enjoy is still Hillary.” Then: “Trust me on this one. If you’re the lucky winner, it will be a night you’ll really enjoy and one to remember.” Bill, as much as we’d like Hillary to roofie us, how are we supposed to “trust you on this one” when you’ve just lied by saying that you still enjoy Hillary? Full e-mail, after the jump.
Dear Truck Nutz,
During the campaign, Hillary and I didn’t have the chance to eat together much because we were usually on the trail in different states. Now that the campaign’s over, I’m glad we can share more meals again.
Of all the people I’ve had the privilege to break bread with, the person I most enjoy is still Hillary.
Now you have a chance to have dinner with her. And if you contribute today to help Hillary retire that pesky campaign debt, you and a guest might be sitting down to dinner with her soon. I think you should go for it and enter today.
Join Hillary for dinner. Make a contribution today.
Trust me on this one. If you’re the lucky winner, it will be a night you’ll really enjoy and one to remember.
All my best,
Bill Clinton
$50 for a BJ, $100 for regular, $400 for “all-you-can-eat salad bar” [Hillary Clinton]
PS–I want to watch through a keyhole while wearing a ball gag.
CLICK TO DONATE
I’m still holding out for the Bottle of Vodka with Chelsea fundraiser.
She should sell cookies from door-to-door. Possibly baked by Cindy McCain and massively Xeroxed.
Can I contribute my regurgitated meal?
I mean, that’s gotta be worth some of Hillary’s investment…
Do you have to toss your own salad?
I’m envisioning the “dinner date” to be something akin to Christopher Walken’s The Continental from SNL. And yes, Jim, there will be roofies in the cham-payg-nya and when you awake, you’ll find your pockets rabbit eared, your credit cards and your checkbook missing, and oddly your 401-K depleted.
Anything to get rid of that pesky campaign debt. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do…
This is off-topic, but…I’m watching Hardball right now and….WTF is going on with Bob Shrum’s nose? It’s dark brown, but his face is white. Check it out.
How Indecent Proposal of them.
Part of me is wondering if Spicy Tuna roll is on the menu.
But…what if I don’t like to eat the souls of the innocent? Will there be a fish option?
If I win, can I take Obama as my date?
Sounds like a cry for help. Parse it for coded messages.
If Ken was doing the post, I would think there would be a photo of a rape victim or maybe the crime scene photos of Jon Benet.
Granted, I was thinking of taking the high road here and dropping the issue after the post, but since it’s become meme all of the sudden… pussies, dicks and assholes, you know.
Oh hey, I’ll contribute, so long as the menu doesn’t contain bitteroot, tossed salad, anything with a white cream sauce, or items grown, processed, or looked at in months ending with the letters H, L, E, T, Y, or R.
Hillary for Dinner ‘08.
Lets see if she can win this one!
ManchuCandidate: I bet I know which part….
Why do I have a feeling I’d wake up in a Motel 6 parking lot with a really bad taste in my mouth and and some really bad hemorrhoids?
The Real JR Revisted: you’ve taken the LOW ROAD EXPRESS HAVEN’T YOU?
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/mccainslowroadexpress/
(good, i’ve mentioned it, now i don’t have to do a post on it because it’s boring)
Is it being catered by Judy Chicago?
shortsshortsshorts: The Dodgers got Manny Ramirez!
Okay, I know this has nothing whatsoever with the current post, but remember a week back when we mocked the “canweask” crap on the McCain website? Well, I watched one of the videos and posted a reply. It was actually not mean, I simply implied that Obama had been to Iraq by that point, and that it was possible to change governments through talking (with crazy dictators). It really was not offensive. Well, the little dear replied I (he’s 15 or 16 I think). Here it is:
Date: Fri, 25 Jul 2008 22:16:41 +0000
> evanjames123456789 has replied to your comment on Evanjames123456789’s canweask
> question:
>
> look at the date on this video you ignorant buffoon, also i know quite well of
> the downfall of the soviet union, it never wouldve happend if it werent for
> ronald reagans doctorine of peace through strength
>
Someone’s a little defensive…..
Jim Newell: Who decided white font on black/yellow was a good idea? Either the white font disappears on the yellow stripe or it just looks like the Watch the Road website.
The Real JR Revisted: It’s all in good fun, and you were right to blow the whistle. Now please embrace your meme.
I smell penis straws….
Has anyone ever heard from the people who got to “watch TV with Bill and not let him eat the chips”? I’ll stick to the Hawaiian pizza, thanks.
Hillary is the new white meat.
It’s what’s for dinner!(tm)
Damn that’s creepy sounding, and I still like Bill.
If Hilz would perform simultaneously with Micky Kaus, I’d play that lottery.
Jim Newell: But the Low Road Express has butterscotch candies and $500 Ferragamos. I couldn’t resist the bad side… then came the skin cancer so it wasn’t so attractive anymore.
UV-fighting Melanin FTW.
Also, I’d be afraid Hillary would eat my meal, too.
tunamelt: My mind’s eye can’t unsee that image you planted in there. Especially since the rich guy character would be played by Ted Stevens or something.
I need to google goatse just to try to distract myself.
tunamelt: HATE.
HATE HATE HATE.
Toss my salard, you dirty failed Presidential candidate!
Salard, not salard lol
The Real JR Revisted: Lemon Party!!1!
Dear Bitters,
Ever since that racist sexist French upstart Hussein Obama ruined our lives, Hillary and I have been holed up in a cheap little cottage on Hilton Head, ordering Bacardi rum and cheap gin just to get s through the rest of our days.
But the good people over at http://www.18millionvoices.blogspot.com/ suggested that we throw a little dinner, a chic tete-a-tete between Hillary and her biggest new donor. It’s deductible, apparently and I can slip away for a quiet evening with Rielle Hunter.
So, please, give generously now. Hillary and I would really appreciate it. We’re fired up and ready to go, let’s win 2012!
Peace out,
Your boy,
Bill
Maybe I fail at having a dirty mind today, but I can’t get past the fact that “pesky” is apparently really used in that e-mail. Pesky! (Or is this that newfangled satire I’ve heard so much about?)
I want you to know that I got one of these “invitations” and my wife threw it away. I didn’t realize she was a bitter….
FunkyPalmettoBug: lrn2spel Moran
SayItWithWookies: Sign me up.
Quacker: Was the invite on scented paper or was it on one of those greeting cards that when you open it plays a tune.
I would think the tune would be Wu Tang’s C.R.E.A.M.
Cash rules everything around me- CREAM! Get da munny. Dolla dolla bill, y’all…
“Of all the people I’ve had the privilege to breed with . . .”
“Of all the people I’ve had the privilege to break wind with . . .”
“Of all the people I’ve had the privilege to blow bread with . . .”
Etc etc.
I want you to know that I got one of these “invitations.” Luckily my restricted diet prevents me from eating lame duck. Whew, that was close.
BTW, I never sent a dime to that trollop, so Hilz must have had Patty Solis Doyle scarf a contributors list from Chicago. Whoever gets the prize, I hope they post here about it (but not before dinner).
FunkyPalmettoBug: Sălard (Hungarian: Szalárd) is a commune (Romanian: comuna) in Bihor County, Romania.
T’anks Weekeepeedeeaah
m_supercomputer: “Pesky”made me think that Wonkette had doctored it. Faux reel?
Fuck. The delay kills me again.
tunamelt: Nice!
Jim Newell: Sorry, Jim. You still have to post about it. There’s even a cartoon bus with the wheel falling off.
What’s second prize? Two meals with Hillary?
As I mentioned in the original post:
This is not an offer of debt reduction. Mrs. Clinton is compensated for her time and companionship only, and anything beyond this is coincidental and a matter between two or more consenting adults.
The Real JR Revisted:
It was on the reverse side of a tip sheet to Pimlico.
“What do you mean I’m paying?”
I am in love with this Jon Soltz guy on Hardball.
NoWireHangers: I can repeat my remark about how it looks like the Watch the Road website. Everyone, care about traffic safety!
If Bill really wanted us to be involved, wouldn’t he tell us the safe word first?
Serving sour grapes?
Ewwwww. He “broke bread” with Hillary? Is that anything like “having a cigar” with Monica? I gave up smoking for a week after I learned where Ms. Lewinsky carried his stogie. And I really like bread.
When is Barry going to auction off a dinner with himself? He’d raise enough to kill the national deficit.
m_supercomputer: trophy(forparticipation)wife: just in case thats a real question…yup, the original uses the word pesky…
i’ve no idea how in the fuck i got on Hillary and Bills list…but i suspect the problem may be old profile of mine on Liberal Adult Friend Finder….
i’ve already notified them that if they continue to bother me i’ll be forced to block them…
tunamelt: I guess this all means that Barry is against senior drivers
WJC: “Of all the people I’ve had the privilege to break bread with, the person I most enjoy is still Hillary. But, when it comes to fucking and sucking, I prefer anybody else, and I do mean anybody.”
During the campaign, Hillary and I didn’t have the chance to eat [box] together much because we were usually on the [treasure] trail in different states. Now that the campaign’s over, I’m glad we can share more [hot lunch] meals again.
Of all the people I’ve had the privilege to break bread with, the person I most enjoy [doing] is still Hillary.
Now you have a chance to have dinner with her. And if you contribute today to help Hillary retire that pesky campaign debt, you and a guest might be sitting down to [a warm dutch over] dinner with her soon. I think you should go for it and enter ["penetrate"] today.
Join Hillary for dinner. Make a contribution today.
Trust me on this one [you won't get preggers, I swear]. If you’re the lucky winner, it will be a night you’ll really enjoy and one to remember [because of the sex].
shortsshortsshorts: Where the no. 1 threat actually is bears.
/needs to go back, if for no other reason than to take in a bear hunt
//no, sen. craig, not that type of bear hunt
josereyes.theroof: Do bears react to hand signals? I think Larry needs a vacation.
anabellum: You better check your credit card bill. Blocking them doesn’t cancel. My friend had a problem with that.
If she really cared about the people, she would allow her house to get repossessed. Like Teddy K getting a brain tumor to illustrate the need for universal health care.
There’s this booth at carnivals where someone annoying is suspended by a platform above a tank of water and people pay to throw a ball at a small target …
Just saying. They could do this together too. Bill could be the barker. If they really want to take care of this debt, I’m sure this carni booth thing would get them out the red by midmorning on the first day of the GOP convention.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: good advice…as i now see there are three charges to my credit card for four ‘all you can eat’ steak and shrimp dinners at Applebees…for a total of $37.79…which leads me to suspect that the Clintons are financing their ‘contest’ with my credit card…
Bill is being very insistent on Yahoo IM as well…
Hey, I’m a sucker for the needy!
For instance, if some homeless dude hits me up for meal money at an Orlando intersection, I’ll give him a few bucks. At least the cat will be able to score a bottle of MD 20/20.
But paying big bucks to those losers, Bill and Hill, just to have dinner with the evil queen?
No way!
Bill made more than $10 million last year, and is asking for a handout. Have a cigar and blow me.
http://usera.imagecave.com/destonio/Destonio_BillDime.jpg
Switch out that stemware for some double old-fashioned tumblers and crack open the free-flowing Crown Royal!
Mostly rye mashbill Canuck whiskey, aged in big ‘ol wooden tub!
24-year-aging is just the thing for shrillness… Hillz in ‘16!
If you order baked potato, hold the sour cream.
On the menu for din with Hillz - sourdough
On the menu for din with Billz - crabs
I think Fr Guido Sarducci is making more than Hillary on the speaking circuit these days…
It takes a village to raise a kid, but it would take almost a Global Village in Dubai to raise 12 million
bucks.
Mr. Spanky: Oh, the “MD 20/20″ takes me back to smoking a joint and passing the bag with Sir Nose. Lovely.
NoWireHangers: Dammit Mona, this isn’t the fastest way to Country Kitchen Buffet!
Dinner with Hillary Clinton? You’d think she’d get tired of eating crow. I never developed a taste for it, so the $5.00 and I are going to Burger King. Dinner with Hillary. Yeah, right: http://theseedsof9-11.com