• February 14, 2012

Happy Birthday Barack Obama!

What the hell, it’s Barack Obama’s BIRFDAY today? He’s turning 25 years old and will celebrate by renting his first car. Above is his Wonkette Birthday Blingee Present. Don’t spend it all in one place etc. Oh, and by the way, our annoying gift is more considerate than the senior campaign staff’s gift, which is nothing, because they left it in a taxicab last night. [ABC News]

{ 56 comments }

shortsshortsshorts August 4, 2008 at 4:31 pm

That picture on the left makes me hunger for teh steak.

Texan Bulldoggette August 4, 2008 at 4:32 pm

Halperin says Harry Conick Jr. is going to do the serenading. What’s the matter? Couldn’t he find a blonde slut or gun-wielding rapper to do it? So sad to see BO sell out like this.

tunamelt August 4, 2008 at 4:33 pm

I can’t decide which is my favorite–it’s all so seizure-inducing and perfect.

Junior August 4, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Today, the birthday boy called for “tapping” oil reserves. I bet he’d tap that…

Monsieur Grumpe August 4, 2008 at 4:38 pm

Where’s the off switch?

Canuckledragger August 4, 2008 at 4:38 pm

I hope the Ludicrus CD I sent him got there in time for his Bidet.

Sean O August 4, 2008 at 4:39 pm

They may say the gift was left in a taxi, but i’m guessing the drug mule with Barry’s islamic crack couldn’t make it across the border.

pdiddycornchips August 4, 2008 at 4:40 pm

If Rev. Wright, Jesse Jackson and a Moyel go to Obama’s party tonight, who gets to cut him first?

Terry85 August 4, 2008 at 4:41 pm

omg wtfux0rz? Obama rode in a taxi cab? lolz

kudzu August 4, 2008 at 4:42 pm

“Killer”? That’s teh funny.

tunamelt August 4, 2008 at 4:42 pm

[re=51511]Sean O[/re]: It’s hard to get good halal crack these days.

Landstander August 4, 2008 at 4:43 pm

Our little boy is growing up so fast!

BadNewsJack August 4, 2008 at 4:43 pm

So, do we sacrifice a virgin to him or what?

nyhfrog August 4, 2008 at 4:46 pm

Show that on your next ad, McCain! If you got the balls.

shortsshortsshorts August 4, 2008 at 4:47 pm

[re=51519]BadNewsJack[/re]: Wait till he tells us what to do.

schvitzatura August 4, 2008 at 4:47 pm

His staff would not disclose what this year’s present is (or was) or even what shopping bag it was in when it vanished last night

Did it involve a meeting with Tut, Gramps, Choom Gang, and Ray?

L
A
T
E
R
S

lilblackcorvette August 4, 2008 at 4:49 pm

sacrifice some loot, HOES! IT is daddy O’s birfday!

KevoTron August 4, 2008 at 4:49 pm

But where, Wonkette, is your tribute to Alberto Gonzalez or Helen Thomas both celebrating today as well?

What? We only honor noble politicians and not cranky journalists or attorneys that destroy our constitution? Where is my America?

dmac August 4, 2008 at 4:50 pm

I did blow with Barack Obama and all I got was arrested.

No birthday gift for you, Barry!

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2008 at 4:51 pm

47 — it’s the beginning of the uppity years.

shortsshortsshorts August 4, 2008 at 4:52 pm

[re=51528]dmac[/re]: Hey at least you were able to give him head.

Mr Blifil August 4, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Nice. I have that same pendant but I choose to hang it from my cock ring.

BadNewsJack August 4, 2008 at 4:53 pm

[re=51527]KevoTron[/re]: I think on the Koal changing station in the men’s room with Larry Craig.

John McClain August 4, 2008 at 4:55 pm

I for one am ready for our first Gangsta Rap President. That’s right, I’m voting MC Rove…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYZre8kEsuw

shortsshortsshorts August 4, 2008 at 4:57 pm
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 4, 2008 at 4:58 pm

I sent him a diamond encrusted tire pressure gauge. Some bling for the glove compartment.

Fata Morgana August 4, 2008 at 5:00 pm

He looks likle a missing member of the Resevoir Dogs crew in that suit.

AngryBlakGuy August 4, 2008 at 5:07 pm

…I’m John McCain and I approved this photo!

WadISay August 4, 2008 at 5:10 pm

Dammit, you forgot the rheostat to darken and lighten his skin. Do I have to think of everything around here?

regisgoat August 4, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Ermine mudflaps for his Prius!

obfuscator August 4, 2008 at 5:15 pm

What will happen when President Barrack Hussein Osama’s handlers loose his nuclear launch code briefcase in the back of a taxi cab?? Maybe they won’t be “lost” at all, maybe they’ll go to BHO’s REAL friends, Reverend WRONG and Bill Ayers, teh terrorist, and who knows who else???!! I’m not accusing anyone, just something to think about!

Wake up, people!!1!!

tunamelt August 4, 2008 at 5:16 pm

[re=51542]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Good, because I am goddamn bored.

ronaldpagan August 4, 2008 at 5:21 pm

[re=51519]BadNewsJack[/re]: ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

elfranko August 4, 2008 at 5:22 pm

leave things in cabs? that’s your brain on “hope.”

lilblackcorvette August 4, 2008 at 5:23 pm

[re=51559]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: and I’m proud of it too!

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 4, 2008 at 5:24 pm

[re=51566]regisgoat[/re]: That is genius.

obfuscator August 4, 2008 at 5:27 pm

[re=51566]regisgoat[/re]:

Would that be the arugulalist’s answer to Truck Nutz?

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 4, 2008 at 5:32 pm

I thought about smaller Truck Nutz for his bike–when he wears that dorky helmut and goes for a ride with Malia and Sasha.

Street Organizer August 4, 2008 at 5:33 pm

Homeboy smokes white blunts???

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 4, 2008 at 5:35 pm

Hang them from the back of the seat. It would probably sway a couple of leaners and Obamacans.

KevoTron August 4, 2008 at 5:52 pm

[re=51574]tunamelt[/re]: That page isn’t nearly as much fun as the last one…

bernadette August 4, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Happy Birthday, baby!

BadNewsJack August 4, 2008 at 6:06 pm

Now, where to find a virgin? hmmmmmmm……..

would it be considered blasphemous if we sacrificed a Paultard?

shortsshortsshorts August 4, 2008 at 6:23 pm

[re=51599]KevoTron[/re]: No it kindove sucks actually.

FreezePop August 4, 2008 at 6:33 pm

Barack is way cool. The U.S. should be so lucky that he’s the next President. Grandpa Simpson needs to seriously step up his game – he’s so 70′s (in more ways than one!) Never mind – forgot..McCan’t can barely bend his knees, much less step up. Happy Birthday, Barack Obama. Rock on….and take us with you!

AxmxZ August 4, 2008 at 6:33 pm

“The cab was yellow,” recalls Nicholson, who took the cab from a friend’s house to the Palmer House Hilton Hotel where the campaign staff was staying.”

Did someone say “scavenger hunt”?

pepperpug August 4, 2008 at 6:34 pm

Thank god that the Wonkette’s birthday gift and subsequent comments aren’t hyper-analyzed like the New Yorker cartoon!

bitchincamaro August 4, 2008 at 6:40 pm

Yeah, I too had a nation trip director once, but his name was Starshipp and I’ve got flashbacks to prove it.

bitchincamaro August 4, 2008 at 6:49 pm

[re=51672]bitchincamaro[/re]: *national*, fuckhead.

Wagamuffin August 4, 2008 at 6:58 pm

Diamond encrusted “B” on his latte cup holder (Rev. Jackson’s ass crack).

Now that’s a Sister Souljah moment…

Jim Newell August 4, 2008 at 7:16 pm

i just looked at the .gif while listening to Air’s “Kelly Watch The Stars.” I recommend this.

RaptorAvatar August 4, 2008 at 7:20 pm

I just gave him $40, which he will spend on an evening’s worth of drugs.

regisgoat August 4, 2008 at 7:40 pm

[re=51582]obfuscator[/re]:
Exactly; ermine mudflaps, with a reclining Hillary-Bitter in silhouette.

T[re=51584]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]:
Bike Nutz is a million dollar idea, and you thought of it first–let’s see, about baby-sock size with peach-pit stones…
Oh man, you could sell a hundred at Critical Mass.

lilblackcorvette August 4, 2008 at 7:48 pm

[re=51706]RaptorAvatar[/re]: You ROCK!!!! OR GO GET SOME ROCK or wahtev…..

TGY August 5, 2008 at 4:22 am

Hahaha, ‘blingee’. To quote a great American, ‘there you go again’.

zhenyatta mondatta August 5, 2008 at 9:17 am

Hot. But not enough ass-fucking.

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