Michael McAuliffe is a 45-year-old candidate for Palm Beach State Attorney with a marvelous plan to “reinvigorate” the staff at the State Attorney’s Office by covering their workspaces in a quarter-inch-thick felt made of human pubes, or something. Thanks to Wonkette operative JimmyJohn2 for the tip. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]
Distinguished Pubic Advocate Wants Your Vote!
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{ 48 comments }
I really hate the current lady-trend in favor of shaved cooters… so I guess you could call me a pubic advocate, too.
I’ve tried pubes but never on avacados. Is that what a Florida sushi roll is?
Did he clerk for Clarence Thomas?
[re=51976]Serolf Divad[/re]: Gee, I’ve been on Wonkette for 5 months and you’re the first pro-bush Wonker I’ve seen.
…does this mean I can sue women with really bushy crotches? If not, I should!
He’s also gonna give everyone twenty bucks and blow them.
Is this guy related to our dearly beloved Terry? Because if we’ve learned one thing from this election cycle, it’s that “McAuliffe crazy” is a very special kind of crazy, indeed.
E pubis unum.
“I am committed to seeking adequate funding for the office to fulfill its mission.”
– Increasing the exposure of all pubic areas in the county, especially at the beach.
[re=51977]Darehead[/re]: avocado
[re=51976]Serolf Divad[/re]: …thats what you say now, but when she drops her pants and the first thing you think is “Chewbacca had a sister?!” then you may rethink your stance.
HehHeh, he said “reinvigorate his staff”…
[re=51986]Canuckledragger[/re]: Damn you, I THOUGHT of it first at least!
A “vocal and pubic advocate” suggests he goes around speechifying and waving his penis at people. I am not sure that is a very convincing platform. But his opponent promises to be “personallly involved in our recruiting efforts”, which clearly means she will have sex with people to lure them to the job. So this is a genital-based effort on both their parts.
just bring back merkins. they’re classy.
I thinkin’ of furry triangle mouse pads.
[re=51997]magic titty[/re]:
Oh I proud to wear a merkin
Where at least it covers flees
And I won’t forget the women who lied
And gave the crabs to me
And it gladly stands up,
…
Well, you know the rest.
“meet your meat” is making me hungry…
I’m pubic neutral here, but one thing I don’t like about the clean shaven look is irregular maintenance. Ladies, you have to keep it pretty smooth because stubble rubbing against sensitive parts of the male anatomy really hurt and not in a good way.
people, puleeze.
here are words to live by.
…are like snowflakes.
celebrate the differences.
Any relation to Ride ‘em Terry?
if he’s terry’s brother/cousin/dad/son/whatever then a mouth full of pubes sounds about right.
Shave it. Shave it all. This isn’t France you know. Republicans enjoy that fresh baby feel.
My fear is that this guy gets into office, goes all Lou Dobbs on us and the next thing you know, we’ve got a Constitutional Amendment to ban Brazilians. I won’t like that.
[re=51976]Serolf Divad[/re]: Bless you.
[re=52023]ManchuCandidate[/re]: OMFG. Seriously, like I’m going to spend $70 to have my hoo-hah waxed clean only to get serviced by someone with a five o’clock shadow. Pubic hair is protective! And endangered! It’s like the Everglades!
[re=51992]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yes. If you can’t handle pubes on a gal, you may want a much wider stance.
Stay tuned for part 3 of ‘When Editors Sleep at the Switch’! Next installment: ‘The Great Pronoun Dilemma’. And remember, kids, when somebody hands you ‘dilemmas’, you make ‘dilemmanade’! Ouch, needs sugar.
McAuliffe, the pubic deserves better.
Just for funzies, try searching your state’s laws for the word “pubic.” It’s one of the most common typos out there. Can make for some interesting statutes!
“I am the Whorax. I speak for teh Pubes!”
While my woman is not, I am in the pubic sector.
[re=52087]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: or “statues”, which is another of the top 10 typos
“marvelous plan to “reinvigorate” the staff at the State Attorney’s Office by covering their workspaces in a quarter-inch-thick felt made of human pubes, or something.”
Fine by me as long as the curtains match the drapes.
I will wax my hoo-hah, (as Annie so eloquently put it), when you boys do the same.
[re=52121]DemmeFatale[/re]: You apparently have never applied a razor to your testicles before. Never, never again.
[re=52106]Doglessliberal[/re]: That would be the number two legislative typo. Definitely. Admittedly, I didn’t look closely enough to make sure that all of these are actually in statute (could be within an annotation beneath a statute), but I found these pretty quickly:
Guam – The Department of Pubic Health and Social Services
Utah – …timely completion of the pubic portion of the organizational meeting…
Puerto Rico – …penalties for littering pubic or private thoroughfares…
North Carolina – Notary Pubic, Guilford County
New York – Pubic Authority Control Board
New Hampshire – Pubic Utilities Commission (although I think the numerous references to “pubic integrity” may be funnier)
Louisiana – Department of Pubic Safety and Corrections
Kansas – …pubic access to records…
Indiana – …commitment to pubic instruction…
Florida – …threat to pubic safety…
Connecticut – Auditors of the Pubic Accounts
California – California Pubic Employees’ Retirement System
Arkansas – …pubic peace, health and safety…
[re=52154]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I live in Florida, and we have PLENTY of threats to pubic safety here…. that’s why I like it – we’re living dangerously.
Pu-bey, or not pu-bey? That is the question.
[re=52154]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: pubic integrity statutes are what they have to regulate brothels right?
[re=52211]Doglessliberal[/re]: But of course! Pubic integrity statutes assure the pubic peace, health and safety. And it’s nice to see that California believes those girls deserve a chance at a decent retirement. Kind of them.
[re=52132]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: So we can count on your vote?
[re=52023]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Keeping things smooth is a real pain for those of us who have to shave everyday. Much as a man’s face is sensitive, our lady parts are extraordinarily so. There’s nothing wrong with the fuzzy triangle. But you gotta keep it trimmed nice and neat. Not too short or it pokes you AND your parnter. Shave a razors width on each side and on top. Voila! Triangle.
TMI?
[re=52251]sanantonerose[/re]:
I am well aware of the overly sensitive traditions of the female parts (which is why my ex got really upset if I didn’t shave my face for a couple of days because I inadvertently scratched up her inner thighs.)
I’m just saying that if you do go Brazilian then keep it Brazilian (especially before sex) that’s all. I have no preferences either way…
[re=52251]sanantonerose[/re]: Perfect.
Oh, I don’t know about feeling a man’s stubble on my inner thighs. Sometimes the sensation is quite nice. But yeah, after trying to keep things smooth for several months in a row, I finally gave up and my partner and I suffered through the “growing it out” phase. Itch itch itch itch itch. Truth be told, ladies and gentlemen, the little bit of extra cushion that a powder puff provides is delightful.
[re=52302]sanantonerose[/re]: I made her shave it again, while she was sleeping. It would have worked out if she had known me.
[re=52313]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Haw!
[re=52132]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Not to go all Jezebel on you, but uh, you think it’s easier to manipulate a sharp blade around our bits? Huh-uh.
[re=52272]ManchuCandidate[/re]: And all I’m saying is that I will have those follicles ripped out with hot wax if my partner is willing to shell out the fucking $65 twice a month. I like a smooth cooter as much as the next fucking dyke, but I also like expanding my 401k.
This has been one of the best discussions on Bush evah. I learned a brazilian things.
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