• February 13, 2012

I just can’t stand another cold cold war with you ...DUH: “Russians were told over breakfast yesterday what really happened in Georgia: the conflict in South Ossetia was part of a plot by Dick Cheney, the vice president, to stop Barack Obama being elected president of the United States.” [Times of London]

{ 49 comments }

The Real JR Revisted August 15, 2008 at 12:48 pm

I agree.

Also, you can take the letters in Obama’s name to spell “A Car Bomb”.

lumpenprole August 15, 2008 at 12:51 pm

I really love how Bush spent another four days at the Olympics after the war got underway. As if that wasn’t revealing enough, from Reuters -

“…Bush said Moscow’s decision to send in troops had hurt its credibility overseas. “Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century,” he said in Washington before departing for a holiday in Texas.”

Almost makes you feel sorry for Cheney.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 15, 2008 at 12:52 pm

Heh heh. The Times said “skullduggery.”

TGY August 15, 2008 at 12:54 pm

The quote would be laughable propaganda if I didn’t believe in it just a tiny bit. Dick Cheney has that sort of effect on one.

tunamelt August 15, 2008 at 12:55 pm

[re=60569]lumpenprole[/re]: It’s like we live in some kind of ironic play. This isn’t real, right?

SayItWithWookies August 15, 2008 at 12:55 pm

Here’s where they go off track:
“Bush himself did not want a war in South Ossetia but his Republican Party did not leave him any choice”
But they’ve got the great paranoid swoop of things down, so who cares if they miss on some of the details, right? I mean, that’s the way our media works.

Christ, sometimes I wish we had adults to play this game.

AngryBlakGuy August 15, 2008 at 12:55 pm

Dick Cheney = Ares God of War!

Darehead August 15, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Cheney issued this statement: “I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.”

[re=60569]lumpenprole[/re]: “holiday in Texas”
Translation: “back to the Mexican rehab clinic, somebody’s off the wagon bigtime”

V572625694 August 15, 2008 at 1:01 pm

Look: we didn’t build all these gorgeous weapons systems to sit in their silos, hangars, submarine pens and garrisons. We build them to fight a goddam war with a worthy opponent–not to bomb some “terrorist training camp,” which isn’t any more than a jungle gym and a couple of hootches. (Seriously: how much “training” does a suicide bomber need? An hour?)

Nope, now we’re getting down to the licklog. Our old and loyal friend, the Republic (or Kingdom or Emirate or whatever) of Georgia needs us, so they can continue to treat their ethnic Russian minorities like dirt.

And they don’t even have oil! Well, maybe a little, and repairing those pipelines’d be a nice thing when Halliburton needs a taxpayer cash infusion.

So, it’s all there. Anti-soviet nostalgia, oil, a wronged tinpot dictator…uh, President. Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of the Military Industrial Complex.

Thanks, Florida.

freakishlystrong August 15, 2008 at 1:02 pm

[re=60569]lumpenprole[/re]: Yet he bitched about Congress taking it’s summer recess before handing his oil companies more drilling rahhhgts…we need to clear bush..

Doglessliberal August 15, 2008 at 1:03 pm

[re=60569]lumpenprole[/re]: what he meant to say:

“Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways for anyone but the United States to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century.”

[re=60575]TGY[/re]: yeah, that’s the problem. You can believe that they want to either prevent Obama from attaining office or, if he does, leave him with a world in flames.

Noodle Salad August 15, 2008 at 1:03 pm

What’s a “Russian Breakfast”? Vodka + Orange Juice? Is this one of those “We call it a Belgian waffle, they call it the slow American death food” moments?

ManchuCandidate August 15, 2008 at 1:03 pm

[re=60578]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
Problem is that Ares is good at what he does.

More like:
Dick Cheney = Lloyd Fredenhall Putz of War.

V572625694 August 15, 2008 at 1:04 pm

[re=60577]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I had to look long and hard (well, two minutes on Google) to learn that someone named Mike Duncan is Chairman of the Republican National Committee. Somehow I don’t think he’s faxing work orders to Chimpy and Cheney.

DoctorCulturae August 15, 2008 at 1:05 pm

[re=60569]lumpenprole[/re]: How do you spell “annual summer intervention?”

Doglessliberal August 15, 2008 at 1:06 pm

[re=60583]Darehead[/re]: you know, Bush should watch out. He could suffer a fatal brush-clearing accident and then Big Dick would be in charge. He’d then suspend the elections because of war. I am scared that I actually kind of can imagine this happening.

shortsshortsshorts August 15, 2008 at 1:07 pm

This is like one of those Nigerian e-mails saying “Barak Oboma es Britny Spears luver.” What the fuck? Thank you Russia for proving that you are totalitarianly AWESOME!

lumpenprole August 15, 2008 at 1:08 pm

[re=60576]tunamelt[/re]:
I’m sure this ironic farce will be rewritten by the Kagans as epic tragedy, which might make it comedy.

[re=60583]Darehead[/re]:
I was thinking this is more like senioritis and he’s just blowing off finals. He’s failed anyway, but he did get a couple nerds to finish his term paper – so whatevers.

SayItWithWookies August 15, 2008 at 1:08 pm

[re=60604]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Or maybe Napoleon III, another strategic genius.

tunamelt August 15, 2008 at 1:10 pm

[re=60611]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Do You Want A Giant Cock?

cal August 15, 2008 at 1:10 pm

We have always been at war with South Ossetia.

Darehead August 15, 2008 at 1:11 pm

[re=60610]Doglessliberal[/re]: Dick probably started slipping vodka in Bush’s milk til he reactivated his alcoholism.

freakishlystrong August 15, 2008 at 1:15 pm

[re=60610]Doglessliberal[/re]: We should all be scared of it, this could be what their cooking now, all the “outrage” at Russia then pushing the missles in Poland…then going to Crawford, to let Dick handle it all.

Darehead August 15, 2008 at 1:20 pm

HAHA, just noticed “Better Red than Dead.” Should ‘ve thought out your color scheme a little more carefully, Neoconned RED Staters!

Better Blue than Yoo?

freakishlystrong August 15, 2008 at 1:20 pm

[re=60624]freakishlystrong[/re]: “they’re”, jesus I hate Friday Coma…

SayItWithWookies August 15, 2008 at 1:22 pm

[re=60610]Doglessliberal[/re]: You think the Secret Service actually lets Dubya use a chainsaw with a chain on it?

Q2 August 15, 2008 at 1:24 pm

There was a TRULY SUPERB interview with James Traub on NPR’s Fresh Air on 8/13/08. If you want to understand the nuts & bolts of the Russo/Georgian relationship take a sip from this media stream.

edgydrifter August 15, 2008 at 1:25 pm

[re=60570]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Only because the queen frowns upon the term skullfuckery.

AngryBlakGuy August 15, 2008 at 1:26 pm

[re=60604]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …maybe Cheney is “Clown” from the comic book “Spawn”? Then again Karl Rove would fit that role as well.

Darehead August 15, 2008 at 1:28 pm

[re=60624]freakishlystrong[/re]: [re=60610]Doglessliberal[/re]: Maybe Cheney and McCain know sumptin’ we don’t know, given McCain’s recent statement at the Aspen Institute in Colorado :

“My friends, we have reached a crisis, the first probably serious crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War. This is an act of aggression.”

WTF? So, 9/11 and War on Terro’ were NOT probably serious international crises. Welcome to the McCain Doctrine.

tunamelt August 15, 2008 at 1:30 pm

[re=60629]freakishlystrong[/re]: Does Friday Coma mean “hangover?”

user-of-owls August 15, 2008 at 1:30 pm

[re=60583]Darehead[/re]: With any luck at all, it will be this clinic.

“Gunmen have killed eight patients and injured six others in a drug rehabilitation centre in Mexico.”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7562537.stm

edgydrifter August 15, 2008 at 1:33 pm

[re=60632]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Hell, they don’t let him swing at a pinata with anything more dangerous than a wiffleball bat. I figure he’s got an empty oatmeal tube with “Brusmastar” scrawled on the side and an agent whose only job is to stand behind him making “raaaaawr-raaaawr!” sounds.

regisgoat August 15, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Skullbuggery is more like it. Unlike most Muscovite propaganda it does have the weird ring of truth.

freakishlystrong August 15, 2008 at 1:35 pm

[re=60642]tunamelt[/re]: No, that’s Saturday and Sunday coma..this is that eyes burning, headachey, nodding off so keyboard embeds in forehead, get me the hell outta this office after lunch coma…

freakishlystrong August 15, 2008 at 1:36 pm

[re=60639]Darehead[/re]: Age? Or selective memory? You decide…

Neilist August 15, 2008 at 1:38 pm

[re=60604]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Okay, points for the “Fredenhall” reference.

StrangelyBrown August 15, 2008 at 1:43 pm

[re=60577]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I don’t know, I get the sense that Bush doesn’t want much beyond a new mountain bike, nekkid pictures of Misty May, and hotdogs for lunch.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 15, 2008 at 1:49 pm

Russia invaded Georgia because Obama is a Muslim?

erymanthian bore August 15, 2008 at 1:56 pm

My friends, we are all South Ossetians now. burble. please change my diapers.

btwbfdimho August 15, 2008 at 1:59 pm

The Times says that? I said it on Wonkette first.

The Cold War is back? Time to elect our first Black Reagan President.

erymanthian bore August 15, 2008 at 2:05 pm

hunhh, hunnh, hunnh, damn, lickety my wattles. Where dat nurse! Changee my diaper now bomb bomb.

TGY August 15, 2008 at 2:08 pm

[re=60697]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: No. Russia invaded Georgia ’cause Georgia invaded South Ossetia ’cause South Ossetia split off from Georgia ’cause Georgia split from the moribund Soviet Union ’cause somebody said somebody else should ‘tear down this wall’…cause Obama is a black muslim.

Devil’s in the details.

Sortofexpat August 15, 2008 at 2:28 pm

[re=60563]The Real JR Revisted[/re]:
Barack Obama = Aak! A car bomb!

Tybalt August 15, 2008 at 2:41 pm

Barack Obama = A… A… A K-Car Bomb.

Johnny Zhivago August 15, 2008 at 2:45 pm

Bush on vacation: stay out of tall buildings!

Nuck'n Futs August 15, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=60637]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: *shows geekdom* oh yeah, they are both Violaters by every meaning of the word.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 15, 2008 at 3:04 pm

[re=60739]TGY[/re]: And to think I thought it was the Jews.

Guppy06 August 15, 2008 at 7:14 pm

Russia prefers Barack Obama! John “Nuke ‘em” McCain preemptively elected to two full terms! Film at 11!

Actually, I can see why the Russians want to sabotage Obama’s election: the more the US fucks up on the diplomatic scene, the less of a leg we have to stand on when we complain about Russia pulling similar stunts.

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