• February 15, 2012

Hey everyone. Sorry we have not been on the Internets much! They have… so much… SECURITY at this place — The Pepsi Center — as well as LOTS OF CONFUSING AREAS. It’s probably much simpler to navigate when the beloved Nuggets basketball team is playing a game here. OMG saw Samuel L. Jackson on the escalator. Oh what’s this, now, on the small teevee? It’s Michelle Obama’s sister, “Craig Robinson!” Let’s see what he has to say. Then, his sister’s elite Princeton speech about math or whatever.

10:30 — He’s bald and orange-tied! He looks like someone, who is it? That guy from The Wire?
10:30 — Michelle memorized every episode of The Brady Bunch, a popular show among white people no one, ever.
10:31 — Michelle Obama wants to help people, says Craig Obama Robinson. ‘Murkins don’t do that.
10:33 — He coaches the Oregon State Beavers basketball team. “Go Beavers,” he shouts. This will not be enough to convince PUMAs, this vagina joke of Craig’s.
10:35 — “Buy Beavers tickets this winter,” Craig says, and then he introduces his sister, “Marsha Brady.”
10:36 — Ha ha fuckers, we have a copy of Michelle’s speech, so we don’t even have to watch this. But we don’t want to read either, so meh. Oh, a nice blue! Is this a SUN symbol in the center? Heathen. This is not a hot dress. Where’s that orange shit, or the purple shit? Those were hot. Oh she comes here as a “Mom,” she says. And moms and Democrats wear sky blue with suns on them.
10:37 — She loves her parents, in Chicago, on the South Side, with the Poors.
10:40 — “Barack Obama and I so similar. He was raised by grandparents and I was raised by parents. But they were all poor, hmm?”
10:42 — It is the anniversary of lady’s rights and Martin Luther King saving the world. Guess what, we’re exactly halfway through!
10:43 — There’s a paragraph about Hillz in a couple paragraphs!
10:45 — She loves Hillary Clinton, and so does the crowd. They like Michelle’s being black, but they also like that Hillary Clinton is a woman. Too bad you can’t be each at the same time!
10:47 — This speech is kind of boring. Can Barry just come out and drain 3′s from way downtown?
10:49 — Barck doesn’t care where you’re from or “what your background is.” Which is why he doesn’t honor John McCain’s FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. He doesn’t see those things.
10:51 — When you actually see these speeches on paper, you really want a red pen, to cut the superfluous shit. Which is like all of it except for two or three topic sentences.
10:54 — Oh look, Michelle is done speaking. Oh those girls are adorable. Do they have speeches to give also? We bet they’ll be about… Barack Obama understanding people.
10:55 — HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
10:56 — We laughed because, um, WHAT?
10:57 — “Hey Bob, I got this great idea, see. We’ll get these little gals on stage in their dresses or whatever kids wear these days, then we’ll give the damn wife a microphone, and we’ll put their runaway father on the big screen from Missouri, with his ADOPTIVE WHITE FAMILY, the GIRARDOS or something. Then the wife will give the mic to the kids, and they’ll interrupt him with, you know, kid shit or whatever, and it’ll be cute, people’ll love it, won’t be awkward.”
10:59 — That was pretty funny when the announcers said, “here’s the closing benediction from… DONALD MILLER!” Like, who? Then it was less funny when we all had to stand and pray to Jesus.

{ 228 comments }

AxmxZ August 25, 2008 at 10:30 pm

Hey, security is a good thing. They already caught two would-be assassins with a shitload of guns. Who knows how large the haul will be by the end of the convention.

HairyIckey August 25, 2008 at 10:30 pm

C’mon, editors: We didn’t click and click on those American Apparel ads to send you to Denver for nothing!

Get your liveblog on already!

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 10:32 pm

Someone get this black guy to stop talking about basketball.

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 10:33 pm

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: damn. Barry’s a lucky man.

columnv August 25, 2008 at 10:33 pm

[re=69216]SuperRounder[/re]: Yea, lots of bball references, as they are all blacks.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:36 pm

…I’m sorry but Michelle is HOOOOOOT!!!

HottMcClellan August 25, 2008 at 10:37 pm

Since no one else has said it, I’d hit that.

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 10:38 pm

Wow. Barry in that picture is just… I’m sorry, I need a minute.

AxmxZ August 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm

[re=69241]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Who’s hotter, Michelle or Barry?

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm

…ehhhhhh, she is cute but I know if she is Miss Buffalo Chip material?!

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 10:40 pm

helmet hair!

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 10:40 pm

Fuckit. Michelle for VP. Sorry, Joementum.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:40 pm

[re=69253]AxmxZ[/re]: …Michelle is hotter than a collapsing Super-Nova.

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 10:40 pm

I’ll bet she tells really good bedtime stories.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:41 pm

…what an elitist! Her dress is ARUGULA green!!!

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:41 pm

Oooh she referenced women winning the right to vote. That is going to appeal to the bitters, who are women.

Jingo August 25, 2008 at 10:41 pm

She’s black?! This guy wants to be President and he can’t score a white chick? Even Gary Coleman got a white chick. Oh wait…. now that I’ve turned the sound down on the TV, I can see she’s pretty hot. Go Obama!

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:42 pm

Skinny, beautiful, elegant, stylish… there is no way Americans will identify with her.

sweetits August 25, 2008 at 10:42 pm

who knew a political speech could make me cum?

grendel August 25, 2008 at 10:42 pm

Which convention will mention the servicemen and women more? Who’ll mean it more?

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:42 pm

Michelle is rockin’ it.

Suck on that, Pat Buchanan.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm

This is just unpleasant to watch. Ican’t wait until after the election when the burka goes back on.

RooseveltFranklin August 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Thank God the obligatory Hilz reference only took 7 seconds.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Jim, you don’t find her hot right now? That’s gayer than an orange tie.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:44 pm

Excuse me, I don’t think Ms. Cindy can come close to this peeps… Eat it Repubnuts.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:44 pm

“Fight for the world as it should be…” Uh oh she just lost the bitters again. The world IS as it should be: a miserable cesspool of disappointment, bleakness, blame-pinning and despair.

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 10:44 pm

Watching this speech has made me proud of America for the first time!

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 10:45 pm

[re=69274]Cicada[/re]: Pat is really starting to make me wish he book his next physical with Jack Kevorkian.

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:45 pm

[re=69272]sweetits[/re]: Rhetorigasm?

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 10:45 pm

“That is why I love this country.”

This is, of course, the line that Fox will replay and ask repeatedly, “Was she sincere? Will Americans buy it? Did anyone else notice the absence of a flag pin?”

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:46 pm

[re=69273]grendel[/re]: The convention that doesn’t fail to mention serviceWOMEN, which is the magic word.

loudmouthredhead August 25, 2008 at 10:46 pm

Wow, I didn’t hear an ounce of bitterness or gnashing of teeth as she mentioned Hillz. Good for her!
[re=69273]grendel[/re]: Well, at least we know which one will mention “Reagan” more, unless Michelle admits a secret crush that we never wanted to know about.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:46 pm

[re=69274]Cicada[/re]: Exactly, so we can see “he’s one of us.” Fecal-matter-head Pat.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Girl’s had some acting experience. I think she’s played Maria in West Side Story.

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:47 pm

It’s going to be awkward when she ends it with “kill whitey”

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Normally it would piss me off to hear someone pronounce it “I-rock,” but when Michelle says it I just smile dumbly and think, “Yes, you do.”

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:47 pm

…she started off a little skippy, but she found her stride! And oh what a nice stride she has!

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:48 pm

do not shoot M from the side of the podium, please.

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:49 pm

[re=69278]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Well I find your comments unpleasant to read, but no one is forcing me to do it.

Change the frickin’ channel.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Like I said in the other thread:

Let McCain’s plastic-assed cunt-trollop beat that.

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Wine bottle is empty just like this fucking rhetoric. I’m out.

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:49 pm

I kind of wish Edwards won the nomination and Rielle Hunter could give her version of this speech.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Who are these crying crybabies? Crying over babies? Bitters know that emotions have no place in the raising of a child, unless those emotions are anger and resentment.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:49 pm

[re=69304]bitchincamaro[/re]: Why not? her skinny-ass profile is turning me on. I have a thing for lithe women.

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Jeebus. I feel another $25 leaving my bank account…

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 10:50 pm

If Clintonz can’t get on board after this, they can go fuck themselves permanently.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:50 pm

…can we please get a full body shot?!?!?!?!

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Crowd pan — bitters crying. When was the last time you saw someone cry at a DNC?

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Fucking music sucks ass.

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

[re=69303]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: She’s wearing the hell out of that dress.

grendel August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Great speech by Michelle… now we need an axeman up there to kneecap WALNUTS! to close things out

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Fuck yeah. Dynamite outro music, fellas.

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Best. Music. Ever.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

And now, her husband…the next Mike Brady…

Quietly August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

That was a very strategic, “God Bless America” she tacked on at the end. Wonder how Fox News will spin it.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

…Barry needs to trot out the rug-rats more often. Those girls are ADORABLE!!!

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

And the Guy Fuckin’ Lombardo band rapes Isn’t She Lovely.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:52 pm

[re=69316]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I don’t know what they’ve been playing earlier but “Isn’t She Lovely” nailed it.

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:52 pm

[re=69316]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I am now convinced that you simply hate Stevie Wonder. How can you hate Little Stevie?

Sightist!

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm

…ok, now this is getting entirely too Brady Bunch! I think I’m about to vomit because of the sweetness!

wheelie August 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm

Joe Biden is saying that she’s the first articulate smart black woman to come into politics.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm

I imagine Mo Dowd will have some sort of “hot tub hallucination” about how the speech was viewed in, oh, the Gore household.

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm

Meanwhile Barry is holed up in Kansas City smoking weed and watching cartoons.

loudmouthredhead August 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm

[re=69278]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Where is her male-relative escort? How SHAMEFUL! Who taught her how to read, too? Well, I never! *strokes beard*

1. If you don’t support the Obama clan, you’re against beavers.
2. Any voting male against beavers must have teh ghey.
Get out of that logic, republican men!
You’re stuck between voting for a black man or admitting to loving close encounters of the airport-bathroom-stall kind.

I just earned you every cracka-ass-cracka vote, Barry. YOU’RE WELCOME!

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm

LOL @ Sasha. She rules.

grendel August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

I think the kid was lip syncing for a less attractive child backstage

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Wait, first he’s in Kansas City, next he’s in St. Louis. Oh, now he’s back in KC. Flip-flop-flip.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

…I’m gagging from the cuteness!!!

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Yesss, finally we get a fully body shot.

And, happy as I am, I still want to painfully and slowly kill the person in charge of picking the songs.

OzoneDude August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

No, she is the anti-christ. Have fun in hell wonkers.

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

I think I just had a cute overdose.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

She has a heart bigger than a Mack truck.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:55 pm

[re=69323]Quietly[/re]: Like this: FART FART FART FART POOP POOP BITTER GUNS TERRY MCAULIFFE.

NoWireHangers August 25, 2008 at 10:55 pm

I cried!

loudmouthredhead August 25, 2008 at 10:56 pm

[re=69327]Cicada[/re]: Would that make him an ebonist, or an ivorist? More importantly: which is more offensive?

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 10:56 pm

Juan Williams is fighting back tears on Fucks News.

THE WORLD IS TURNING UPSIDE DOWN.

KittyKatMan August 25, 2008 at 10:56 pm

Michelle O rocked the mic.
Damn, the green dress and a side view. Michelle O’s bootay is of da shizam.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:56 pm

“Father God…”
“Daddy Yankee…”

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:56 pm

Sasha rocks.

And now… it’s the whitest family on earth!

Dramatist August 25, 2008 at 10:56 pm

I think that cuteness violates the Geneva Conventions.

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 10:56 pm

ZOMG cuteness overload! If he doesn’t win, can I just watch his family on a reality show?

OffTheRecord August 25, 2008 at 10:56 pm

Oh sweet jesus. Cute overload. I cannot take it.

badco/LoJ August 25, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Barry, I’m going to steal your wife. You HEAR ME, motherfucker?

lovethebomb August 25, 2008 at 10:57 pm

She never said it, but “kill whitey” was what I got.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:57 pm

[re=69317]SuperRounder[/re]: …Cindy has a lot to compete with during the Republican convention. Maybe she will come out in a Budweiser bikini and work the crowd by throwing cheap t-shirts at them.

S.Luggo August 25, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Is this a reverse monochrome of NcAged sipping on Cindy’s Oxycontin saturated ears?
In this way, we are all brothers.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:57 pm

low on warm beer. but loving her and the girls. the live feed tanked though. too bad. not to mention the ebony jet show case singers doing bad stevie wonder cover version of a really exceptionally good stevie wonder song. major drag.

sweetits August 25, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Those little girls make me want to have some.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:58 pm

I think that was Geraldine Ferraro talking behind Tom Brokaw a second ago.

RooseveltFranklin August 25, 2008 at 10:58 pm

Curling up in the fetal position just to maintain.

sarcasticusername August 25, 2008 at 10:58 pm

sasha is officially my favorite obama!!

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:58 pm

[re=69327]Cicada[/re]: That was Big Stevie, and the music was as ham-handed as playing “sweet Caroline” for Caroline Kennedy. WTF….are they’d play,”Hava Nagila” if they could get Lieberman to do a speech.

loudmouthredhead August 25, 2008 at 10:58 pm

[re=69342]Cicada[/re]: & [re=69338]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: My pancreas just gave up from the sweetness onslaught. Where’s my damn insulin?

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 10:59 pm

I would give my mortal soul for the opportunity to punch Bill Kristol in the face. Just once.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:59 pm

[re=69333]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Speaking of teh gey, what the deal with David Brooks tonite? That tie! That tan! Someone in makeup went a little wild with tonight’s pancake…

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 11:00 pm

[re=69351]Dramatist[/re]: It’s okay, we’ll just change the definition of cuteness. Problem solved!

Also, Bill Kristol is a fucking douche. “I hate to sound like a curmudgeon” he says, but he hated the speech. And Brit Hume is defending Michelle. BRIT HUME.

Fear of a Black Reagan August 25, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle! Could Joe Biden’s granddaughters get any hotter? No, I don’t think so.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Those kids are adorable.

kudzu August 25, 2008 at 11:00 pm

I’d do her.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 11:00 pm

I CN HAZ MOOZLIM PREZNIT?

expatinOz August 25, 2008 at 11:00 pm

He better win now cuz I need health care, having contracted diabetes from the unbelievable overpowering sweetness. Damn adorable children.

Hominidx August 25, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Why did they use the most denatured version of that song ever?

Democrats are supposed to be the living party!

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 11:01 pm

[re=69363]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:

To be fair, Caroline Kennedy was the inspiration for the song.

NotNotLickingToads August 25, 2008 at 11:01 pm

And here we go…Anderson Cooper going to great lengths to lament the fact that tonight wasn’t a giant ball of negative.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 11:01 pm

oh look it’s Harold Ford: the BORING Black But Sort-of-White American Politician.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 11:02 pm

why didn’t they just hire stevie fucking wonder himself for christ sakes? this cover shit sucks deep and hard.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 11:02 pm

So there’s the band and the DJ. They are clearly working for Karl Rove.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 11:03 pm

[re=69327]Cicada[/re]: And I might just be bitter because I’m just his “part Time Lover.” Bastard.
I gave him EVERYTHING!

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 11:03 pm

“I made mistakes in the race based on my race. Speed Racer. Racial lines. Race, race.

expatinOz August 25, 2008 at 11:03 pm

Oh wait, I still live in Australia where we have health care….CUTE AWAY.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 11:03 pm

Is that garlic around Judy Woodruff’s neck? Is that the only way to keep that old Jim Leher away from her?

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 11:04 pm

[re=69363]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:
Like I said earlier, I’m just grateful they didn’t go with “Michelle, Ma Belle”.

What do you think they’ll play for Hilz? Given her well publicized financial woes, I vote for “She Works Hard For The Money”.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 11:04 pm

[re=69377]MrAgro[/re]: Harold…call me!

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 11:05 pm

[re=69379]jagorev[/re]: time for the hard stuff/paint thinner.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 11:05 pm

“I love football metaphors.” Harold Ford Jr. has officially lost my vote for president.

KittyKatMan August 25, 2008 at 11:05 pm

Oh shut up Harold.

McStinky August 25, 2008 at 11:05 pm

Come on America, who do you want to be your TV family?

It’s such a great American story. Only in America can someone grow up to be a nominee for President of America.

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 11:06 pm

[re=69377]MrAgro[/re]: He always answers questions in several parts, which is obnoxious. And I still remember him immediately after McCain’s green screen speech saying that it was magnificent. Also, I hear he hangs out at the Playboy Mansion and steals white women.

And can I just note again that Brit effing Hume is raving about Michelle? He grinned (I’ve never seen that before) and said he was proud of her. What Muslim curse did she put on him?

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 11:06 pm

Mayor Daley: “The whole world’s watching!”

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 11:06 pm

[re=69384]Cicada[/re]: Chumbawumba: I get knocked down, but I get up again…

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:06 pm

[re=69368]itgetter[/re]: [re=69366]SuperRounder[/re]: …Bill Kristol deserves to be beat with a sock with a brick in it. Hopefully he gets hit by bus or contracts hemorrhagic fever when he is leaving the convention center!

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 11:07 pm

[re=69384]Cicada[/re]: I will personally donate $10,000 to the DNC if they play Hillary on with Aretha’s “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”

RuperttheBear August 25, 2008 at 11:07 pm

Right now, youse guys scroll down and comment on the nice intern Juli’s (if that is her real name) post. She’s got like 1/3 a comment.

McStinky August 25, 2008 at 11:08 pm

[re=69384]Cicada[/re]: As long as they don’t play “Don’t Fear the Reaper” when Kennedy comes out, it’s OK.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 11:09 pm

Andrea Mitchell is wasted.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 11:09 pm

[re=69366]SuperRounder[/re]: Please take a number and stand in line my friend.

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 11:09 pm

[re=69391]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Yes, I think it’s safe to say that a Daley knows the ins and outs of “ethnic politics”. The ghost of Harold Washington looks down on you, Mayor Daley!

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 11:10 pm

Brian Williams: “Michelle Obama is a very sophisticated and articulate Empathy-Bot.”

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 11:10 pm

[re=69392]smellyal8r[/re]: Perfect. It’s a about drinking, and we know how Hilz loves her shots of Crown Royal!

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:10 pm

…I never thought I would say this but:

“Less Keith and more Sasha & Malia please!!!”

finkystinger August 25, 2008 at 11:11 pm

was the line about her 6’6″ uncle or whoever “looking down on [her] — literally!” a dig at biden’s misuse/overuse of the word in his speech saturday? girl’s got some zest!

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 11:12 pm

hill’s song should be KILLER QUEEN with freddy mercury himself coming back from the grave to wake the MOTHERFUCKERS UP WITH SOME REAL MUSIC. jeebus. or stevie nicks just standing on stage in total silence doing lines of coke. or yoko ono doing that fabulous sream thing she does so well. “ICE ICE ICE ICE ICE ICE ICE ICE”

Franklin Pierce & Pierce August 25, 2008 at 11:12 pm

When are they going to START ATTACKING?

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:12 pm

[re=69395]jagorev[/re]: …I would pay the DNC $10,000 Ameros if they play Ludacris “Move Bitch” when Hillary walks on stage.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 11:12 pm

[re=69403]MrAgro[/re]: also “Barack Obama’s wife and kids are mouthy rat bastards.”

mookworthjwilson August 25, 2008 at 11:13 pm

I would like to do the hibbity-bibbity with Michelle Obama…and I want Barack to watch…hhehehhehhehhe…j/k…but damn that is one foxy lady….

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=69406]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Those kids are the kind of cute that makes men nervous. When they start asking for the car keys or the credit card, it’ll be difficult to say no.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 11:14 pm

Patrick Kennedy is sporting adequate flair.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 11:14 pm

[re=69384]Cicada[/re]: Lady Marmalade or nothing.

S.Luggo August 25, 2008 at 11:15 pm

[re=69356]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Mock though you might, Cindy is visiting her down South condo among her needy peasants.
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hetctMdP3ioB55GvfoL9eMfYAyLgD92PKPVG0

Makeithurt August 25, 2008 at 11:15 pm

No she’s the love child of Mr. Ed and Bernard Shaw. “Hey, Michelle! Why the long face?”

CivicHoliday August 25, 2008 at 11:16 pm

Thank you, Wonkette, for the photo of Obama foreplay. It makes me tingle all over.

But in all seriousness, I thought she gave a great speech, and her girls are just more and more adorable every time I see them.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 11:17 pm

jeez Patrick. i think we found who went bar-hopping with Andrea Mitchell this afternoon.

ladymacbeth August 25, 2008 at 11:17 pm

[re=69312]SuperRounder[/re]: yeah that was me last night when my partners creepy wingnut friends needed a smackdown and all i could do was pledge more money and link the shitheads up to the wonders of barry.

btw: it REALLy pisses them off, hooking them up to barack. try it…

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 11:18 pm

[re=69407]finkystinger[/re]: Could be. Zesty indeed. Joey B had tears in his eyes…
Helloooooo Ms. Bernard!

nyhfrog August 25, 2008 at 11:19 pm

Me love me some Michelle.

LuxMentis August 25, 2008 at 11:19 pm

Orange tie and black coat…both he and MO are Princeton alum.

MO’s speech was exceptional. Interesting to see how the rest plays out.

AxmxZ August 25, 2008 at 11:19 pm

[re=69421]CivicHoliday[/re]: It’s easy to see looking at them, especially at Malia, that they are going to be damn pretty when they grow up. With a mommy and daddy like that, they’ll give the Depp-Paradis kids a run for their money.

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 11:19 pm

Juan Williams joins Shepard Smith in the pantheon of Fox News Personalities Who Might Possibly Have a Soul.

american mutt August 25, 2008 at 11:21 pm

[re=69241]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: michelle is hot. lord have mercy i want my own michelle. girls, hit me up!

benj-thewrathofgod August 25, 2008 at 11:22 pm

That was a good speech. But after Nancy Reagan, Hillary Clinton and Laura Bush, is America ready for a First Lady that has feelings?

Fear of a Black Reagan August 25, 2008 at 11:23 pm

[re=69402]obfuscator[/re]: But the ghost of Michelle Obama’s dad thanks him for a job!

wheelie August 25, 2008 at 11:23 pm

[re=69419]S.Luggo[/re]: Oh god. And McCain is talking up Georgia as a great Christian nation? What a jerk.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 11:23 pm

[re=69429]obfuscator[/re]: big emphasis on might.

Fear of a Black Reagan August 25, 2008 at 11:24 pm

[re=69422]MrAgro[/re]: Is Patches s’posed to be drinking on his bipolar meds? Hint: No.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 11:25 pm

[re=69420]Makeithurt[/re]: Now, do we insult you even though you’re a reptilian piece of shit?
Oh, yeah, we do.

Michelle is a babe, and you’re a pathetic turd. Fuck off and die.

wallythepug August 25, 2008 at 11:27 pm

Smart and smokin’ hot…no wonder the Repubs are trying to demonize her. Go Michelle!

Fighting Bill August 25, 2008 at 11:27 pm

Caroline Kennedy just punked Anderson Cooper and friends: Q: Do you see an ongoing role for yourself with the Obama campaign? A: I just want to spend time with the best political team on television.

They took it as a compliment, ha. ha.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 11:27 pm

benj-thewrathofgod: You forgot that mammoth vessel of feelings: Pat Nixon.
Michelle might be the first who was actually something like a person not on drugs or alcohol.

Mr. Evercool August 25, 2008 at 11:29 pm

Soccer moms and Oprah watchers are in the bag.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:29 pm

…leave it to FAUX news to kill my cuteness buzz! I mean, is to much to ask for a chunk of space debris about the size of lets say a small automobile to smash into their news desk; thereby instantly vaporizing all their news anchors?! I don’t think I’m asking for too much!!!

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 11:31 pm

[re=69440]DoctorCulturae[/re]: To be fair, Barbara Bush (sr.) always struck me as a real human being, and she was a class act.

sweetits August 25, 2008 at 11:33 pm

[re=69442]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: faux news isdirrectly connected to suicide. just look out for you.

Rodney Badger August 25, 2008 at 11:33 pm

Karl Rove is on Fox right now attacking MO’s speech. It wasn’t a personal enough for him.

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 11:33 pm

[re=69442]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Fundies pray for rain, Wonketeers pray for death by space debris. That sounds about right.

Fighting Bill August 25, 2008 at 11:34 pm

Here, here! Let’s show some love for Barbara’s Bush.

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 11:34 pm

[re=69435]DoctorCulturae[/re]: You’re right. Two sporadic farts of empathy from Fox News is about all I’m expecting for the rest of this decade.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 11:34 pm

Nice, Buchannan can’t tell the difference between the obama kids. Way to say it every way possible, Pat: They’re Black? Who can tell them apart?

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:35 pm

…WoW, Pat Buchanan has turned his douchebag level down to 3.

btwbfdimho August 25, 2008 at 11:36 pm

Alt-text for that picture: “they say DC is Hollywood for ugly people…time for a change we can believe
on it, baby”.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:36 pm

[re=69446]itgetter[/re]: …hehehehe, touche’.

ivenson August 25, 2008 at 11:37 pm

Here’s why I love open phones on CSPAN…Repub caller said that she couldn’t support Obama because Michelle made a poor financial decision to leave a well paying job at a law firm to do work that was more aligned with her idealism. She said that this is an indication of how irresponsible Obama would be with the US economy.

I nearly spilled my beer screaming at the TV “You’re right, whore! Look how poorly her decision turned out for her family!”

Rodney Badger August 25, 2008 at 11:37 pm

[re=69449]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I’m watching Pat now as well. He, like Rove, is incapable of shame. Pat maybe more soulless than Rove, given the fact that he is spewing his bile under the never-ending sad-face gaze of Rachel Maddow.

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 11:38 pm

Pat is contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. “I didn’t hear any mention of the Christian religion.” AND CHRIS MATTHEWS JUST VERBAL SMACKED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. Well done Chris.

sweetits August 25, 2008 at 11:39 pm

i said this before, but does anyone else think chuck todd is slurring a little? it sounds like is tounge is swollen. or maybe i am drunk

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 11:39 pm

[re=69450]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Nope. He staged a late comeback of assholity by whining about the lack of Jesus pandering in Michelle’s speech.

Then Tweety gave him a nice fuckoff by reminding him that there isn’t a religious litmus test for the presidency.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:39 pm

…can they please get rid of those hideous “mole” microphones that all the anchors in the convention are wearing?!

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 25, 2008 at 11:39 pm

I am dumbstruck – Michelle is too cool, too perfect, too hot.

And I love how she got Hopey into that teevee box at the end of the evening, crammed into a little whirling house spinning around in a Kansas tornado with cardboard white folks. Way cool and excellent training for Sasha and Malia.

villageatrois August 25, 2008 at 11:41 pm

[re=69363]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: “they’d play,”Hava Nagila” if they could get Lieberman to do a speech.”

How ’bout the Stray Cats play “You Make Me Dizzy Ms. Izzy”?

naveed August 25, 2008 at 11:44 pm

More Malia and Natasha, please.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 25, 2008 at 11:44 pm

It was sad when Obama forgot what city he was in. It reminded me of his debate performances.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:44 pm

…Ted Burns looks like a lesbian on hormones.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 25, 2008 at 11:44 pm

i haven’t looked at Fox News all night. I can’t. I might throw something at the TV.

…and it’s a really nice TV.

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 11:45 pm

Ken Burns is one creepy looking little so-and-so.

“Perpetual emotion machine?” Isn’t that the title of a Soft Cell album??

dilhavarti August 25, 2008 at 11:45 pm

[re=69327]Cicada[/re]: I want the Kool Keith version. *bown-chika-bown-bowwnnn!*

Scooter August 25, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Michelle is SO appealing! I wuv her!

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 11:47 pm

[re=69467]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]: Elitist!

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 25, 2008 at 11:48 pm

[re=69465]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: you’re kind of a dick, aren’t you?

like you just gotta piss on everyone’s parade.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:49 pm

…frankly I’m surprised that Chris Matthews is sober. I take him as the type to use beer bong with whiskey.

pickleandcake August 25, 2008 at 11:50 pm

I cried too, NoWireHangers! Methinks Michelle could have been a mighty fine preacher woman! Though she might be too sexy. Awww, yay! My optimistic, hopey little heart prays the bitters feel the love.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 11:53 pm

…why in the hell does the DNC even invite FAUX news to the convention? It’s obvious that are nothing more than a propaganda outlet for the Republican party! And if anything they should have put their news desk in the men’s bathroom.

dilhavarti August 25, 2008 at 11:54 pm

[re=69390]itgetter[/re]: The Mo’bama Fatah: “Cil Whitey wid da Cuteness. Reddy go mon.”

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 11:55 pm

[re=69475]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]: Canmon consumes nothing but tonic water and arugula to maintain his/her bitterness. If Barry wins, Canmon’s eyes might fall out because of all the rolling.

SuperRounder August 25, 2008 at 11:56 pm

[re=69483]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: No, no, no. We all know what happens when that bunch spends too much time in the crapper. Misunderstandings abound.

villageatrois August 25, 2008 at 11:56 pm

Hillz intro music:

But the fooo-ul on the Hill
Sees the sun going down….

obfuscator August 25, 2008 at 11:56 pm

[re=69465]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: It was sad. Almost as sad as blowing all your money on a 3rd place finish in Iowa… or as sad as failing to plan for a primary season that goes past Super Tuesday, or as sad as hiring Mark Penn… you know, just sad.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 25, 2008 at 11:57 pm

[re=69475]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]: The guy’s there for less than a minute and makes a complete ass of himself. Don’t blame me for pointing out the obvious.

S.Luggo August 25, 2008 at 11:57 pm

“Barack Obama and I are so similar.” Michelle was raised on the South Side of Chicago and Barry was raised in Indonesia, Hawaii, Turkmenistan, and Vero Beach. Biographies truly similar. Believe, or are we not men?

dilhavarti August 25, 2008 at 11:58 pm

[re=69393]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Maybe he’ll smack a homeless guy with his corvette on the way to work tomorrow.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 11:58 pm

[re=69486]Cicada[/re]: We can only hope. Maybe makeit hurt can step on them, slip, and break a hip, too.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 26, 2008 at 12:01 am

[re=69494]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: uh… right, as sad as Hillary Clinton insisting on being placed on the roll call, just so she can give her fan-grrrlz voice…

not at all ’cause she’s thinking that maybe, just maybe she might miraculously become the democratic presidential candidate, after all.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 26, 2008 at 12:03 am

did Tweety just say “walnut”?

sike101 August 26, 2008 at 12:05 am

am i just remembering it wrong, or did barack have on a cosby sweater?

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 12:06 am

[re=69507]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]: No, but Howard Fineman said they had to go after McCain tomorrow and “crack the walnut.” Priceless.

obfuscator August 26, 2008 at 12:07 am

[re=69510]sike101[/re]: It was actually a Walter Payton throwback jersey and a dookie chain.

sike101 August 26, 2008 at 12:10 am

[re=69513]obfuscator[/re]: either way…dunk

mookworthjwilson August 26, 2008 at 12:22 am

[re=69465]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: st louis, kansas city? honestly it’s fucking missouri…the only difference is one city has a good baseball team the other doesn’t….

AngryBlakGuy August 26, 2008 at 12:24 am

[re=69498]dilhavarti[/re]: …can we just fast forward to where he gets a brain tumor and retires?! Pretty pweeeeez!?

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 12:33 am

[re=69544]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Speaking of Novak:

is anyone else looking forward to his hobbling on stage next week in St Paul, slipping in a pool of his own drool, and screaming,”Bwoeeah!!”

Too soon?

tallulah August 26, 2008 at 12:34 am

AngryBlakGuy, would it be fair to say that you have a total boner for Michelle?

Honestly guys, you don’t have to prove you aren’t racist by repeating over and over how hot the black lady is. We all know you have no other way of showing you appreciate a woman other than remarking on her appearance.

Larry McAwful August 26, 2008 at 12:36 am

Sasha Obama will be eligible to run for president in the year 2036. I’m already considering voting for her.

Michelle Obama is hot. Not a Betty Ford kind of hot, though. Possibly a Grace Coolidge kind of hot. Or more like a Frances Cleveland or Martha Jefferson kind of hot. You know what I mean.

AngryBlakGuy August 26, 2008 at 12:40 am

[re=69564]tallulah[/re]: …ummmm ok, and your point is?!

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 26, 2008 at 12:42 am

My mother is convinced that Michelle O. had some work done on her face. “That’s why she disappeared!” And then she made me pull up some pictures on Google images so she can turn to me and my dad and say, “seeeeeeeeeeeee?”

sarcasticusername August 26, 2008 at 12:43 am

hill’s intro music will totally be “it’s my party”
among all the cuteness of the obamas tonight, one of my favorite moments was watching barack get all school boy crush-ish in the michelle intro vid. he actually likes his wife, and probably wants to do sexy times with her, him and a lot of other folks right now.

llyn August 26, 2008 at 12:52 am

[re=69455]SuperRounder[/re]: He heard much mention of Christian behavior, but Republicans and rightwingers only value lip service.

TexasCowGirl August 26, 2008 at 1:02 am

Screw the Deeps and the Jolie-Pitts. Sasha and Malia are the most beautiful famous kids. Barack’s going to be glad for the Secret Service when they reach dating age.

Wagamuffin August 26, 2008 at 1:19 am

OK, someone is being pleasured in this picture—AND IT’S NOT ME!!!

*grump*

villageatrois August 26, 2008 at 1:59 am

[re=69564]tallulah[/re]: “total boner for Michelle?

Honestly guys, you don’t have to prove you aren’t racist by repeating over and over how hot the black lady is.”

Tallulah, what don’t you understand about “total boner”? It’s an instant animal reaction which happens nanoseconds, or even days, before contemplation on the meaning thereof. If it happens once, it happens again, well before that reflective moment, which might never occur. Values don’t determine erections. Erections determine values.

mookworthjwilson August 26, 2008 at 2:07 am

[re=69577]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]: tell your mom she either needs to get back in the Plymouth Voyager or start her shift down at county general…

(explanation: one of my best friends in college was filipino. he used to tell how all filipino women were nurses who drove minivans)

Captain Swing August 26, 2008 at 8:00 am

[re=69564]tallulah[/re]: Don’t worry, Tallulah, there are plenty of other words that can be applied to Michelle- Elegant, poised, intelligent, dignified… Yeah, OK, she is also hawt, but in a very classy way.

Given the pressure she has been put under, Mrs Obama spoke extremely well. (I shudder to think how I would fare if I had to stand up in front of an audience of who knows how many million people and spend twenty minutes “introducing myself”.)

I always have the utmost sympathy for politicians’ spouses. They so often end up getting the rough end of a deal they absolutely did not sign up for. I’m sure that, when young Barack got down on one knee to ask the question and Michelle said “Yes”, he did not follow it up with, “oh, and by the way, Dear…”

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 26, 2008 at 8:44 am

[re=69669]mookworthjwilson[/re]: heh. my mom is the one filipina who didn’t become a nurse. she went the other route. Accountant.

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 9:25 am

[re=69723]Captain Swing[/re]: Michelle O is the Anti-Hilbot. As Barry is 21st C. man, Michelle is 21st C. woman.

Michelle O = Jackie O

Caroline & Teddy et al saw this. They could see the difference between them and the Clintbot finaglers. Interesting that one doesn’t hear any of the Bitterz mania coming from the women in the Kennedy Clan.

YellowScientist August 26, 2008 at 9:38 am

[re=69595]llyn[/re]: WIN!

YellowScientist August 26, 2008 at 9:40 am

[re=69382]expatinOz[/re]: Bitch, you get the best of both worlds – ability to vote for Prezdint of Wurld AND universal health care!

Methinks the Wonketters would have loved Paul Keating.

mothermaven August 26, 2008 at 10:38 am

[re=69443]jagorev[/re]: I had a chance to see Barbara Bush Sr. in person and she actually looked very nice in black angora sweater and a black skirt. I was colored surprised.

Crow T. Robot August 26, 2008 at 10:54 am

Donald Miller…didn’t he used to be on Saturday Night Live?

What ever happened to him?

TaraAriano August 26, 2008 at 12:19 pm

She’s wonderful! MP3s from the speech are up: http://www.entertonement.com/collections/2482/One-Nation-Speech

Baseproduct August 26, 2008 at 4:04 pm

No one saw the look on her face when she said “Hillary Clinton”? Really?

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