• February 11, 2012

uhhhhDepending on your sources & your level of paranoia, either a couple of racist dingbats were arrested around Denver’s trashier motels Monday, or an elaborate plot to assassinate Barack Obama was busted up by clever Colorado cops. In any case, a trio of local losers are now in jail (again), and at least one of them mumbled something about wanting to murder our new president.

Aurora Police arrested the first man, 28-year-old Tharin Gartrell of Centennial, early Sunday morning after a routine traffic stop. During the traffic stop, officers found two rifles, boxes of ammunition, one rifle scope, a bullet proof vest, walkie-talkies and methamphetamines. Gartrell is being held in the Arapahoe County jail in lieu of $50,000 bond and has a felony criminal record.

Aurora Police say a second man, 32-year-old Nathan Johnson, was arrested at 4:30 a.m. on Sunday morning at a hotel near Interstate 25 and Belleview Avenue. He is being held by Denver Police. A third man, 33-year-old Shawn Adolf of Greeley, was arrested at Cherry Creek Hotel in Glendale on Monday.

Ha ha, last name is “Adolf.”

Well … are these just normal rural Westerners out for a “good time” or … ah, that’s the same thing. Jesus christ.

3 arrested after alleged threats to kill Obama [9 News Denver]

{ 88 comments }

naveed August 26, 2008 at 12:44 am

Microcephaly?

ManchuCandidate August 26, 2008 at 12:48 am

Who could consider these assholes the shining example of the “white” “race” let alone the human race?

Ain’t no intelligence shining from those eyes, ever.

mattbolt August 26, 2008 at 12:49 am

People think of South Park as a made-up place, but Colorado really does have a whole class of redneck, white trash mountainfolk. When you’re outside of Denver and there are no skihills in sight, just imagine Kenny’s parents.

Keram2 August 26, 2008 at 12:49 am

But the guy pictured above looks so nice and charming.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 26, 2008 at 12:50 am

who knew that meth could distort one’s facial bone structure that way?

…it’s gotta be the lighting.

villageatrois August 26, 2008 at 12:51 am

He’s just a squirrel hunter. He needs the bullet-proof vest. You city folks have no idea how mean those squirrels can get.

villageatrois August 26, 2008 at 12:53 am

Methamphetamine? In Colorado, but outside a mega-church? Hard to believe.

gurukalehuru August 26, 2008 at 12:54 am

He looks like he might be a friend of Larry Sinclair.

MrAgro August 26, 2008 at 12:55 am

Hotels and rifles just sounds like a fun weekend fling with the missus in Colorado.

SayItWithWookies August 26, 2008 at 12:56 am

Wait — so if some hobos in a warehouse in Florida ask an FBI agent for al-Qaida uniforms it’s a major terrorist plot, but if three guys get arrested with sniper rifles and a bulletproof vest, it’s “a methamphetamine and firearms case?!” Um…okay — we as a nation have lost all perspective.

MrAgro August 26, 2008 at 12:56 am

*Hotels, rifles and meth

ManchuCandidate August 26, 2008 at 12:56 am

Cletus the Slack Jawed Failed AssAssin…

Manchowder August 26, 2008 at 12:56 am

They call me Adolf of Greeley, bane to all Poles, backstabber of Russians, and gasser of Jews.

Larry McAwful August 26, 2008 at 1:00 am

Did the government invent meth to get rid of people like this? Nah, probably not. The government doesn’t really pull off such worthwhile programs with such efficiency anymore. Still, it’s worth a try.

Good thing these guys had guns. In case anyone tried to steal their meth or guns, they could have defended themselves.

sezme August 26, 2008 at 1:02 am

No possible good can come of naming your kid “Tharin”.

Jingo August 26, 2008 at 1:02 am

Is this best that Blackwater can get? I guess all the good mercenaries are still in Iraq pulling down $10,000/month.

Larry McAwful August 26, 2008 at 1:02 am

I bet these guys are voting for McCain for sure now. Those Democrats are just a bunch of meth grabbers.

obfuscator August 26, 2008 at 1:04 am

That young man is neither clean nor articulate.

TexasCowGirl August 26, 2008 at 1:05 am

I don’t know much about prison life, but I’ll bet attempting to kill the first black president gets you an ass raping or two by the black inmates.

echoman2000 August 26, 2008 at 1:08 am

looks like a cross between meth and airline maintenance crew.

stolichnayaaa August 26, 2008 at 1:09 am

I hope they don’t lock these guys up for five and a half years, because then they would be PREZDENT!

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 1:09 am

Yeah, they probably would have been caught on their way to do the deed, but it really took a lucky stop to catch these douchebags with guns and ammo, even though they’re all drug-addled felons?

Oh, never mind. I live in Arizona. This is totally believable.

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 1:11 am

oh, and call them meth-mouthed, racist felons. McCain calls him his base. Worked in AZ.

The 3-Legged Man August 26, 2008 at 1:11 am

So, where were these oh-so-clever Colorado cops when JonBenet needed them?

Larry McAwful August 26, 2008 at 1:12 am

[re=69613]TexasCowGirl[/re]: Yeah, but on the other hand, they’re now probably the most famous meth addicts in the world. So that’s got to be worth something.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 26, 2008 at 1:15 am

[re=69621]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: ba-zing!

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 1:17 am

[re=69613]TexasCowGirl[/re]: Don’t underrate the usefulness of having rotten meth teeth as a future bitch in a prison setting. A lot less pain getting those bad boys out.

echoman2000 August 26, 2008 at 1:18 am

[re=69613]TexasCowGirl[/re]: your kidding, right? white inmates don’t rape? you texans and sense of punishment just kills me. just kill them. their white trash meth loosers. right? the black rape thing is some lurid texas fantasy. the big black elephant in the room so to speak. let’s have a trial first, cow girl. what you say?

TexasCowGirl August 26, 2008 at 1:18 am

[re=69622]Larry McAwful[/re]: You’re right. And meth causes users to be hypersexual so they might enjoy the ass rapings. Probably been selling the buttsecs to get a fix for a while now.

SayItWithWookies August 26, 2008 at 1:19 am

[re=69608]sezme[/re]: It’s a portmanteau name — a clever combination of the two greatest influences in his life: Thalidomide and Sarin.

lumpenprole August 26, 2008 at 1:25 am

Gollum is looking kinda laid back these days.

villageatrois August 26, 2008 at 1:26 am

[re=69608]sezme[/re]: “No possible good can come of naming your kid “Tharin”.”

Tharin, Balin, Dwalin, Gimli. Kings under the mountain. “Moria” is only an accidental cognate in Romance languages.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 26, 2008 at 1:27 am

I blame Jeebus.

dilhavarti August 26, 2008 at 1:33 am

I can’t wait to see this episode on Law & Order with Morpheus.

sanantonerose August 26, 2008 at 1:33 am

[re=69608]sezme[/re]: I think that’s a misspelling. There’s a whole slew of them kids:

Thar ‘un
That ‘un
Other ‘un

TexasCowGirl August 26, 2008 at 1:34 am

[re=69626]echoman2000[/re]: Do you know that this site is for snark and nothing anyone says here should be taken seriously? Yes, I was kidding. I was under the impression that people kid here. Did something happen to you here in Texas that you need to get off of your chest? Because it sounds like a nerve was hit and that shouldn’t happen here. Look around, no one here is serious. Why are you so serious?

AxmxZ August 26, 2008 at 1:35 am

Bets on how long he lasts in the federal pound-me-in-the-ass pen once they find out why he’s in there. I say halfway through the first night.

Wag Das Hund August 26, 2008 at 1:36 am

Holy shit! I went to College in Greeley, and I never suspected…

Well now that you mention it, professors Eichmann, Goerring, and Hess were a tad excitable.

dilhavarti August 26, 2008 at 1:37 am

[re=69639]TexasCowGirl[/re]: Dude. Mistakes were made…

Cicada August 26, 2008 at 1:37 am

[re=69626]echoman2000[/re]: I think TexasCowGirl was just pointing out that black prisoners might especially hate on a trio of white supremacists who tried to kill the first black Dem Presidential nominee.

Yes, prisoners of all colors ass-rape. Yes, these guys haven’t been tried yet and might be innocent. But we comment on unsubstantiated stuff all the time, proof of guilt is not a prerequisite (*ahem* John Edwards’ love child, Larry Craig, etc.).

And Texas may have given us W, but it also gave us Molly Ivins, so be kind.

AnnieGetYourFun August 26, 2008 at 1:49 am

[re=69590]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]: I was going to say that! But I got here so late! Seriously, though, are they born so stupid that they can’t DO anything besides meth? That’s my theory.

TexasCowGirl August 26, 2008 at 1:59 am

[re=69643]Cicada[/re]: Thanks and don’t forget Ann Richards!

Aurelio August 26, 2008 at 2:14 am

I’ll bet they have right-wing paramilitary ties.

You know, the ones with thunderbolts on them.

jerryw August 26, 2008 at 2:30 am

[re=69626]echoman2000[/re]: Yep, a fair trial before you string ‘em up.
chiaroscuro: Verb intrans. Pasty white ass reamed by huge black felons,
it says so in some dictionary somewhere, so it must be true.

Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com

Quacker August 26, 2008 at 2:52 am

[re=69626]echoman2000[/re]:
Where’s your bunny?

trai_dep August 26, 2008 at 3:19 am

If these guys have it in for Barry because of his not hating on The Gays, I’ll be the first to tell these three that they’re completely safe from having The Gays hitting on them. Completely.
Wow, these winners make those Deliverance fellows look like a gauze-lensed homo daydream by comparison.

itgetter August 26, 2008 at 3:46 am

[re=69616]stolichnayaaa[/re]: Hahahaha!

Jukesgrrl August 26, 2008 at 4:16 am

Maybe “Tharin” was the name of a drug the mother was on when she was pregnant with him.

MarvintheCat August 26, 2008 at 4:23 am

Holy crap if you can’t snark here I’m done with the internets.

Scooter August 26, 2008 at 5:57 am

“During the traffic stop, officers found two rifles, boxes of ammunition, one rifle scope, a bullet proof vest, walkie-talkies and methamphetamines.”

Might be an assassin. But on the other hand, elk season is almost here!

[That doesn't explain the rifles, scope and ammo though.]

dano August 26, 2008 at 6:28 am

I’ll bet these guys have Hillary’s cellphone number on them. Just saying.

AngryBlakGuy August 26, 2008 at 6:58 am

…lemme get this straight, if you fail to report your daughter missing for 5 weeks your bail is ½ a Million dollar. But if you are caught in an attempted assassination attempt then your bail is $50,000. These assholes will be out of jail with enough time to re-up on low grade kitchen sink Meth and collect a couple rifles from their CIA handlers.

AngryBlakGuy August 26, 2008 at 7:18 am

[re=69701]Scooter[/re]: …only if you are going Elk hunting in Fallujah!

SkimLatteModerate August 26, 2008 at 7:18 am

I knew I wasn’t being paranoid. Can we ban all white people from the convention on Thursday, please? Actually add to that all the black people since Hopey’s not dark enough for us. And every other race since Barry was rude enough to deny his identification with them? Basically Barry needs to accept at an empty stadium. It’s the only safe way.

AngryBlakGuy August 26, 2008 at 7:23 am

[re=69613]TexasCowGirl[/re]: …I found a photo of his bunk mate.

http://www.mmaweekly.com/absolutenm/articlefiles/5044-Kimbo3_TomCasino.jpg

AngryBlakGuy August 26, 2008 at 7:28 am

[re=69711]SkimLatteModerate[/re]: …black people aren’t all that safe either(ask Malcolm X). All they need to do is put Sasha & Malia around the stage when he speaks. Cuteness of that magnitude can easily deflect a .50 cal armor piercing depleted Uranium shell.

Texan Bulldoggette August 26, 2008 at 7:36 am

Don’t know why he’s hating on BO; they have the same size ears.

DP August 26, 2008 at 8:19 am

This just in!!! The MSM is setting this guy up…he’s actually an Obama supporter!!!

http://www.phillyturkey.com/InTheRegion/041508.asp

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 26, 2008 at 8:28 am

Rifles, ammunition, a rifle scope and a bullet proof vest. There are areas of the country where having that stuff in your car is perfectly legal.

4tehlulz August 26, 2008 at 8:35 am

Thanks for clearing that up AP, I feel much better now.

“Federal and local authorities had scheduled a news conference for Tuesday afternoon, but U.S. Attorney Troy Eid downplayed the case.

‘We’re absolutely confident there is no credible threat to the candidate, the Democratic National Convention, or the people of Colorado,’ Eid said in a statement.”

Methheads always carry around sniper gear, bulletproof vests, and walkie-talkies; who knew?

Redhead August 26, 2008 at 8:40 am

Homeboy is DEFINITELY sporting a mullet.

There’s just nothing else that needs to be said.

Monsieur Grumpe August 26, 2008 at 8:58 am

Zippy the Pinhead goes bad.

EatMoreHummus August 26, 2008 at 9:06 am

Wow. That guy’s the Missing Link.

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 9:11 am

This story is Wonkette pie. Everyone pass go and collect $200!

friendlynerd August 26, 2008 at 9:15 am

White you may be – supreme you are not.

dano August 26, 2008 at 9:18 am

Somewhere a “Tilt-A-Whirl” sits immobile.

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 9:26 am

[re=69746]dano[/re]: win.

Harmless August 26, 2008 at 9:29 am

The bitters are coming! The bitters are coming!

Carrie_Okie August 26, 2008 at 9:40 am

[re=69702]dano[/re]: Or at least Carville’s…
[re=69751]Harmless[/re]: Srsly, did he not have a bible or at least a jug of corn squeezin’s?

Fucking kids today. Suddenly Lee Harvey seems all well adjusted and stuff. Get off my lawn.

anabellum August 26, 2008 at 9:46 am

[re=69746]dano[/re]: hilarious…i second the win…

btwbfdimho August 26, 2008 at 9:49 am

[re=69597]villageatrois[/re]: Why? They’re doing meth because they are methodists.

stew August 26, 2008 at 10:07 am

It’s Cleetus!!! Did Cheif Wiggum arrest him?

Canuckledragger August 26, 2008 at 10:22 am

I call bullshit.

We don’t know their middle names, and y’all recall that ALL assassins’ middle names are always used by the poh-lice.

They didn’t have a copy of “Catcher In The Rye,” which is required reading for all aspiring assassins.

And none of these dweebs has even mentioned Jodie Foster.

Case closed.

Schadenfried August 26, 2008 at 10:24 am

Go on the El train in Philly, heading Eastbound to Frankford, you’ll see a few guys like that, usually smelling of booze on Friday morning.

kudzu August 26, 2008 at 10:51 am

OK. Thank you, Republicans for giving us a good story. I’m sure (I’m positive, in fact) that these losers are Repugs. All we need to do is dig up some evidence that they are, in fact, Republicans, that have voted Republican, and that they support Republican causes. Then we just publish the shit out the story. That’ll keep the Repugs busy for a while.

Kos August 26, 2008 at 10:53 am

[re=69602]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I was thinking the same thing!!!!!

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 11:03 am

[re=69729]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: not if you’re an ex-con.

Rusty Shackleford August 26, 2008 at 11:19 am

Uncle Jimbo?! Ned?! Oh, say it ain’t so!!!

Dave J. August 26, 2008 at 11:51 am

DJ Qualls has already been tapped to play that jagoff in the movie version of these events.

donner_froh August 26, 2008 at 12:08 pm

The station said police found two high-powered, scoped rifles in the car along with camouflage clothing, walkie-talkies, a bulletproof vest, a spotting scope, licenses in the names of other people and methamphetamines.

I was wondering where I put that damned license. At least it is in good hands and I am sure the Denver Police Dept. will return it right away.

mememaw August 26, 2008 at 12:12 pm

[re=69746]dano[/re]: Money shot.

dano August 26, 2008 at 12:39 pm

This guy probably thinks Blacks, Jews, and immigrants are the cause of his problems when it’s clearly his DNA that’s holding him back.

Miller August 26, 2008 at 12:49 pm

Tip to future assassins: if you want to shoot someone don’t deal meth around the time you want to do it and obey all traffic laws. Also make sure your head isn’t made of misshapen clay. That probably helps line up the sights better.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

I Am Not Your Gary Busey August 26, 2008 at 1:07 pm

Meth & White Supremacy: Life’s crowning glory for those born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

iolanthe August 26, 2008 at 1:09 pm

Ah …

Our proud Viking heritage!!

I Am Not Your Gary Busey August 26, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Were they trying to earn the keynote speaker’s spot at Paultard-palooza?

Call me stormy August 26, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[re=69819]kudzu[/re]: Something tells me these guys aren’t the voting type.

taylor1940 September 30, 2008 at 2:49 am

In my opinion people who are involved in such practices should be given strict punishment so that they do not do such things in future.
——————-
Taylor

Crystal Meth Addiction

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