We loved you, Minnesota. You were nice. Your convention ran as smooth as a “Tuna Hot Dish,” which is apparently what you eat here, in your secret homes. But now we are at the Airport Service Center, in Concourse E or something, typing, while our phones charge. Newell is already gone — Lindsey Graham was two rows away, in coach! What a fag. Anyways, thanks for following our ridiculous cross-country Heartland Change Convention Tour. We’ll be quiet for a few hours now, as we will all be on terrible planes flying in every direction, 9/11 times Infinity, the end. Oh and Todd Palin’s ex-business partner just filed an emergency motion to seal his divorce records, and it was denied. [Andrew Sullivan]
Good-Bye Forever, St. Paul (and Minneapolis)
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Bon voyage!
It was fun, Wonkette, these last two weeks. We laughed, we cried and we had seizures because of this fucking background ad.
Sweet baby Jesus! OK, let’s use this thread to posit our theories of what scandalous things are alleged in the divorce papers. I submit:
Mrs. Palin and the aforementioned business partner were caught, in flagrante delictio in the ice box of an Alaskan fishing trawler, surrounded by frozen squid and 100o lbs of king crab.
Ha ha ha. And now nobody can get to the alaska court records site.
[re=87165]Serolf Divad[/re]: National Enquirer has been on point lately with regards to political scandals.
[re=87160]columnv[/re]: Amen on the ad.
Have fun with the little bottles!
Such a toss up between the Choke ad and the Replacements for worst. Bracing myself.
Motion Denied.
To quote Michael Kors, “Slutty, slutty, slutty.”
Scandalous Theory:
Sarah Palin, while participating in a wet t-shirt contest at one of the six undergraduate institutions she attended, bared her cooter in an attempt to win over the crowd.
[re=87165]Serolf Divad[/re]: Obviously you’ve never tried to have sex in a hold full of frozen squid. I’m not saying it can’t be done — just that it’s very cold and uncomfortable. But I’m not an Alaskan helicopter moose sharpshooter, either.
Thanks Wonkette. You just shut down Alaska’s judicial branch intertubes.
You know, I have an old boss that said the National Enquirer was the only paper at the pulse of America (seriously!). I used to think he was a quack…now, not so much.
Thanks guys! We appreciate all your ‘hard work’ the convention of Hope and the convention of Hate. I hope you’re all flying on separate airplanes, because, you know.
[re=87167]naveed[/re]: God loves The National Enquirer as much as he loves Wonkette — maybe more.
Goodbye, dear Wonkette, it was great having you here. I wudda gone to the Liffy last night, but I had already put on my jammies and bunny slippers. Plus the thought of fighting against streets full of pissed-up Republicans who were killing people with their teeth, field dressing and making mooseburgers out of them filled me with dread. If you use the men’s room at MSP, the guy in the next stall has a message for you.
I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m almost at the Palin Scandal o’ the Day saturation point. I’m going to have to protect my poor lady-brain and try to just limit myself to following the top 5 or so.
get out while you still can
[re=87160]columnv[/re]: Seriously. If all of us buy tickets now, can we have the girl in purple pants back?
Your convention ran as smooth as a “Tuna Hot Dish,” which is apparently what you eat here, in your secret homes.
What?!?
Scandalous Theory:
Group sex with Eskimos dressed up as polar bears.
[re=87174]ChernobylSoup[/re]: In the previous thread I copy-pasted all the text on that page, if you’re 404-ing.
Alaska needs a newer, bigger series of tubes.
What if the business partner and Snowmobile Ken were the ones caught fornicating on the fishing boat?
Be careful or you might get your toes stepped on by the droves closeted “wide stanced” republicans fleeing the sinking ship that is the Walnuts!/Glasses! ticket.
[re=87185]sezme[/re]: I’m not cleaning them.
Scandalous Theory: Wasilla key party gone horribly awry.
[re=87180]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Don’t hurt the lady brain! Vote Vaj!
Banal Scandal: NOT SEX! (haha, how’s that for scandalous?)
My dog just asked me if Lindsey Graham could be his cat. He said “this one would be a good cat. He’s kind of disgraceful and aggressive but ultimately just kind of sits there and doesn’t do anything while looking cute/pathetic. Can we keep him?”
No.
[re=87185]sezme[/re]: You can’t just go DUMPING divorce records all over The Internets like a BIG DUMP TRUCK! It will clog the TUBES!
[re=87180]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]:If you’re full of Palin scandals, I’ll happily have your portion. Tell me more about this fascinating fascist
for those getting timed out because Alaska’s internet sucks…
Search Results 21 Docket(s) found matching search criteria.
Docket Date Docket Text Amount Amount Due Images
09/04/2008 Order Denying Motion Case Motion #3: Motion to Make Case File Confidential 0.00 0.00
09/03/2008 Motion to Make Case File Confidential Attorney: Pro per (0100001) Scott Alan Richter (Petitioner); Case Motion #3 0.00 0.00
09/03/2008 Motion for Expedited Consideration of: Motion to Make Case File Confidential Attorney: Pro per (0100001) Case Motion #2 0.00 0.00
05/19/2008 Notice to Employer Re: Children’s Medical Insurance Deborah Marie Richter (Co-Petitioner); 0.00 0.00
05/19/2008 Cust/Spprt/Visit Modified. Case Closed. (no motion link) 0.00 0.00
05/19/2008 Order Granting Stipulation Case Motion #1: Standard Motion 0.00 0.00
04/03/2008 Stipulated Agreement for Child Support and Parenting Agreement Attorney: Pro per (0100001) Case Motion #1 0.00 0.00
04/03/2008 Case Reopened 0.00 0.00
09/18/2007 Child Support Order 0.00 0.00
09/18/2007 Decree of Dissolution Granted 0.00 0.00
09/18/2007 Shared Custody Child Support Calculation 0.00 0.00
09/18/2007 Amendment of Agreement 0.00 0.00
09/18/2007 Hearing Result: Hearing Held The following event: Dissolution Hearing w/Children scheduled for 09/18/2007 at 3:20 pm has been resulted as follows: Result: Hearing Held Judge: Zwink, David L Location: Palmer Courthouse 0.00 0.00
08/14/2007 Civil Deficiency Memo mailed re: agreement re retirement benefits and last quarterly statements of same; specifics of shared custody agreement. 0.00 0.00
08/14/2007 Hearing Set Event: Dissolution Hearing w/Children Date: 09/18/2007 Time: 3:20 pm Judge: Zwink, David L Location: Palmer Courthouse Result: Hearing Held 0.00 0.00
08/02/2007 Affidavit/Scheduling of Hearing Scott Alan Richter (Petitioner); 0.00 0.00
07/24/2007 Certificate of Completion of Viewing “Listen to the Children” Video Scott Alan Richter (Petitioner); Deborah Marie Richter (Co-Petitioner); 0.00 0.00
07/24/2007 Information Sheet 0.00 0.00
07/24/2007 VS401 Certificate of Absolute Divorce or Dissolution 0.00 0.00
07/24/2007 Proposed Child Support Order Submitted Prior to Hearing 0.00 0.00
07/24/2007 Petition for Dissolution of Marriage (With Children) Receipt: 268635 Date: 07/24/2007 150.00 0.00
[re=87174]ChernobylSoup[/re]: Quick, send the poor Alaskans more federal tax dollars for their infrastructure. I’m sure there’s another bridge on the continental US we can neglect. Must have DIRT!
[re=87173]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I think the term “Alaskan Moose-Shooter” should get repeated a lot.
I don’t care if there is any truth to this affair; I just want McCain to tell Sarah to try out for Miss Buffalo Chip.
Because, c’mon, that’d be in the bag!
[re=87199]tunamelt[/re]: I salute you, fellow scandal monger.
@AmericanValues
Don’t worry, Sarah Palin is building new tubes. They carry natural gas andinternet! America is saved!
[re=87165]Serolf Divad[/re]: I prefer to think, since we are talking about republicans here, that he was caught with MISTER Palin! See, the ice godess doesn’t seem to care about anything as much as getting and keeping political power, so maybe hubby strayed…right into the arms of his bestest pal! Maybe that’s also the reason for the cheating rumor about Moosey. I know it’s all very, I don’t know, Broke Back Iceburgish? But, hey we’re makin’ stuff up here, right?
Scandal theory: Public sex clubs ala Jim and Jeri “7-of-9″ Ryan.
Dude this the case docket doesn’t really do much for me. You can’t look at anything other then the list, and nowhere does it say “SARAH PALIN AFFAIR NAUGHTY SECKS TIME.”
[re=87194]JadedDIssonance[/re]: I just designed my own “Proud Vagina Americans 4 Obama” T-shirt on one of those build your own shirt sites. I can’t wait until it arrives! Too bad it’s NSFW, what with mentioning the love pita and all.
[re=87204]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Thanks, just making sure everyone has equal access to vaguely indecipherable and poorly formatted potential scandals.
The partnership in question apparently was an Anchorage car wash. Please god, oh please let this be the scandal that sticks. I can’t take much more.
Come back with your Truck Nutz or on ‘em or in your lap or wherever.
I don’t know, just please please please let there be some meat in the Sarah Palin scandal sandwich. I am so sick of that Moose eating milfy twat I could CHOKE her with her own glasses and hair net.
I would keel over with glee if either her or Snowmobile Ken has banged the ex-business partner and got caught with the pants down. Glee heee hee heee!
And as for voting Vaginatarian, NEWS FLASH – no one gives a fuck.
The only reason Todd’s ex-biz partner would try to get his divorce record sealed at this time is that his ex-wife alleges misconduct with home-wrecker “Other Woman” Hockey Mom. Thanks to the judge, Wonketeers, we will get to see all the salacious details. Who says the system of American justice doesn’t work once in a while?
[re=87199]tunamelt[/re]: Tx for retubing our interwebing-access-portals,
but you missed,
07/24/2007 Proposed Joint Custody Of Priapistic Moose “Elvis” Denied.
Sexist, liberal, elitist media pigs, you’re saying Hockey Mom’s been banged into the boards by The Todd’s partner? You disgust moi. I spit on you and on all your kind.
BTW: Pard’s name is Scott Alan Richter.
http://airamerica.com/blog/2008/sep/05/court-records-todd-palins-partners-divorce
[re=87213]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: When did ‘vagina’ become an offensive word? It’s the only medically-blessed word I know for it (compare: cunt, twat, etc.) I learned that word in 8th-grade sex ed., I think.
Next someone will wag a finger at ‘penis’. Metaphorically, anyway.
[re=87220]Merry Christen[/re]: I plan on voting for anything with a vagina…or boobies, doesn’t matter which.
[re=87213]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I want to see a pic. HAHA…and I’m a creeper.
[re=87223]S.Luggo[/re]: “Scott Alan Richter,” huh? Well I’ll bet his pecker caused a 7.5 orgasm on fuck-factory Sarah’s Richter scale.
There’s probably nothing in that divorce file on Sarah, but the dude is paranoid about his other shit getting aired (hunting moose without a permit, unpaid parking tickets, human sex trafficking, etc.)
Anyway, what’s with this pic? Is this the secret sign of the Alaska secessionist movement?
http://media.adn.com/smedia/2008/09/05/10/826-palin-friday.highlight.prod_affiliate.7.jpg
Ooooh! I just had a turrible thought. Dang me. Could Scott Alan Richter be the father of Sarah’s Down Syndrome baby? Why do such nasty, unthinkable things occur to me? Is it my innate gutter-mind or is it the company I keep here at Wonkette? Shame on me for even wondering about it. I feel so guilty. Please heap reproach!
[re=87221]Aurelio[/re]: Chimpy’s minions have closed off almost all avenues to justice in one way or another, but the divorce settlements are the last glimpse we can get into the lives of the powerful–or in this case, the snowbilly retards who have temporarily landed in power through some hilarious fuckup.
A scandalous theory: multi-generational/multi-family group sex, maybe while the Escalade is moving through the car wash.
A car wash in Anchorage has to be the best business deal going. There’s so much salt, gravel and mud on the roads that cars only last a few months. Do you suppose Uncle Ted earmarked it?
[re=87226]TGY[/re]: I don’t think it’s offensive, per se. But I don’t think it will do my career (such as it is) much good to go prancing around the office with that word plastered to my boobies. Although, really, in this place, I think a greater number of people would find the word “Obama” to be more offensive.
Oooo. NPR on the hypocritical doublespeak coming out of the McCain campaign: http://www.npr.org/blogs/visibleman/2008/09/your_pocket_guide_to_speaking_1.html
Possibly my favorite:
Similarly, if you name your kid Barack, you’re “unpatriotic.”
Name your kid Track, you’re “colorful.”
[re=87199]tunamelt[/re]:
My favorite:
07/24/2007 Certificate of Completion of Viewing “Listen to the Children” Video Scott Alan Richter (Petitioner); Deborah Marie Richter (Co-Petitioner); 0.00 0.00
[re=87231]Aurelio[/re]: Of course he’s the father — of Bristol’s DS baby.
[re=87231]Aurelio[/re]: Yep, that’s what I was thinking also…but, I guess that’s what you get for breaking the 6th commandment…don’t piss off Jeebus!
[re=87185]sezme[/re]: If you put your ear up the your monitor you can hear what sounds like the rutting and bleating of large land mammals. I don’t know why the sound comes out of the monitor, but Alaska.
Minnesota always looks best when seen shrinking in a rearview mirror.
Especially the rest rooms:
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/2008/03/13/governor-eliot-spitzer-found-guilty/
[re=87239]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I want one of those shirts! Where do I get one?
New theme song for the snowbilly campaign: Loretta Lynn, “Fist City.”
There won’t be any problem getting permission from the copyright holder on that shit.
New nickname for the Sarahcuda: “Sarahble,” as in Sarah Palin is a TERRIBLE god-awful wicked beeyatch and I hope a moose kicks her smarmy-ass hockey mom face in. Bitch.
[re=87160]columnv[/re]: Now the convention’s over can you axe this butt ugly ad? If not then greyscale the motherfucker. Thanks for everything else — and the Wonketteers — for the best snark in the nation.
So, now that the motion to seal the records has been denied, how does
one go about getting a copy of the divorce records?
Y’all come back anytime, Wonkettes!
We’ll be right here waitin’ for ya….
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xp1Rvl7H6Rg/SL_P4XIwStI/AAAAAAAAIDg/pdhqsYQ8SxM/s1600-h/sarah_palin_milf.jpg
[re=87228]Aurelio[/re]: Please. Let’s end this politics of rancor. It was entirely a private matter between Scott Alan Richter’s schwanstucker and Sarah’s vajinga. Show some respect.
[re=87242]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Kos has had some of the same evil thoughts as we have, here: http://openthread.dailykos.com/story/2008/9/5/04851/95453/373/587455
[re=87247]jodyleek[/re]: I really should set up a CafePress store, but I’m far too lazy. I just went here and designed one for myself: http://www.customglamgirl.com/overlaptee_page.htm They have other styles of tee, but I created one in navy, with a red heart and white lettering.
[re=87252]jodyleek[/re]: That is a question every tabloid news agency is currently answering for us.
[re=87240]Serolf Divad[/re]: The more you know… *shooting star*
[re=87256]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=87257]Aurelio[/re]: Incestuous 4-way Snowbilly sexuality is really sumpin’, ain’t it? I guess there’s nothing else much to do during the 10 month long winter when the sun flushes itself down the memory-hole. I will try to show some respect, or, failing that, prurient interest.
OMG, I just heard that Todd Palin had a vasectomy in 2006, the kid couldn’t possibly be his!
NOTE: I made this up, I’m just curious to see how far the rumor spreads. It’s kinda like the ‘McCain Means Change’ baloney.
[re=87261]jjgittes[/re]: …the more you want to build a bunker.
[Incidentally, I've been using that "The more you know" thing in reference to Caribou Barbie far more than is healthy, this week. But then there always is something more TO know.]
[re=87199]tunamelt[/re]: that was riveting. mahalo!
Wait, I thought the ate Lutefisk in MN … you know that fish cured in turpentine or something else equally toxic.
[re=87160]columnv[/re]: I actually have taken to resizing my browser to take out most of the ad… I still feel that it beats the hell out of the talking ad, however.
When do we find out about Babycooter’s trading of cattle futures? Do they have whitewater in Alaska? When will the first suspicious suicide of one of her close associates occur?
I need a map for all of this hillbilly crap. Lemme see if I got this straight…
Sarah Palin, governor. Husband is Todd Palin. TP’s ex-partner is Scott Alan Richter. SAR is divorcing Deborah Marie Richter. DMR is marrying John Woodrow Bitney. JWB was fired when TP told SP. Rumored SAR put his PP in SP. SAR and DMR own an LLC with investments with SP and TP. And DMR runs the fund that hands out free checks to Alaska citizens for oil sales.
And that doesn’t include the kids shenanigans.
[re=87258]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: You are the bestest!
[re=87173]SayItWithWookies[/re]: don’t forget–with kung fu grip vagina!
I went to the Alaska Daily News website to see if they had anything on the divorce records yet (I picture all the MSM reporters madly running around some maze of a 1950s courthouse with no signs trying to find the one locked room where divorce records are kept).
Nothing there but this article saying the Trooper’s Union filed an ethics complaint against Palin this morning for digging into her ex-brother-in-law’s files.
http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/story/516746.html
Did we already know about that???
[re=87259]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I am going to pray to my bathtub grotto Virgin Mary that this is true!
[re=87272]Sussemilch[/re]: Nor does it include the extended family, locus of Troopergate.
[re=87269]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Not turpentine, ya big silly…it’s soaked in lye…ya know, the stuff they use in making soap. Yummy!
[re=87272]Sussemilch[/re]: Scott Richter? Then who in the hey is Brad Hanson?
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-77788
[re=87278]professor.cj[/re]: Yup. I’ve been saying for days now that the privacy violation charge will be the one that sticks. WaPo has been following that one pretty closely as part of the larger picture. The general involvement with Troopergate is harder to prove. The privacy violation issue is much easier.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/30/AR2008083002366_3.html
From Sunday: The legislative investigation is looking into whether information was leaked from Wooten’s personnel file.
[re=87272]Sussemilch[/re]: Excellent summary, Suss. You have a knack for interpreting the Byzantine world of snowbilly incestuous sexual politics. Have you considered a job with the National Enquirer? I’m sure they could use more boots on the ground up there in Alaskastan.
[re=87283]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Who knows…probably one of the many guys she boinked before her husband fired them. I think she has a pattern of sexual addiction perhaps? Cindy McWalnuts better make sure she crossed all the t’s and dotted all the i’s on that prenup.
[re=87216]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: …workin’ at the car wash blues
[re=87231]Aurelio[/re]: that one’s been floating on the intertubes as long as the affair has been. no reproach, only hope.
[re=87230]Delicious[/re]: oh no no say it isn’t so.
I CAN PLZ HAZ RCRDZ SUNE?
To be fair, the lye has to be soaked out of the lutefisk before it’s prepared. It’s hard to say whether the most challenging Scandinavian dish is pig’s feet, lutefisk or gjetost, a goat cheese with the consistency of peanut butter (sort of pb’s hapless country cousin) that is eaten on flat bread. The baked goods of the Scandinavian Midwest can levitate a palate with their buttery goodness — but getting to dessert can be a challenge.
Q: What’s the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom?
A: The pit bull generally doesn’t fuck it’s husband’s business partners.
I know you have to eat, but when you get back to DC, check and see if Choke has been early released, OK?
Please let them be swingers…please please please…key party gone awry!
[re=87294]WadISay[/re]: Seriously. I’m hoping that the long, pink nightmare of “Choke” isn’t really going to last until Sept. 26. Eyeballs not happy.
Please would one of you clever compuartists make a pitbull with lipstick?
thanks for visiting. come back sometime before forever!
Did you actually take the skyway? Does it have bums like any other place?
Do you get the feeling the VPILF controls the intertubes in Alaska? Where has this Medussa not gotten her snakes into?
First, the shut-down of the so-called medical facility where Trig was allegedly ‘born’, then the removal of all her pre-baby pixxx, now the court system goes haywire. What’s next, the banning of my favorite meth-ordering portal?
[re=87295]sanantonerose[/re]: Please let them be swingers…please please please
I promise to closely monitor all the photos in the swingers’ web sites. It’s the least I can do for America.
[re=87287]jodyleek[/re]: It’s obvious there are multiple impregnators. There is no way Todd Palin could father Track, reload and get of four more rounds. Even the Army’s best marksmen couldn’t match that. Unless, of course, you believe the magic penis theory.
[re=87278]professor.cj[/re]: Hee hee. And I picture 200 investigative journalists pinky wrestling over who gets to use the 3 microfiche machines everything is probably still stored on. And, then having to pay .25 a copy to print whatever they find off the fiche. (Oh, college–good times!)
[re=87263]Aurelio[/re]: Just a 4-Way?
Here’s another attempt to unravel the Todd Palin/Sarah Palin/Scott Richter/Debbie Richter/John Bitney gordian knot:
http://gettingflak.blogspot.com/2008/09/signed-sealed-delivered.html
BTW: Scott and Debbie are, of course, no longer an item. That may be due to former Palin/Richter partnership employee Bitney.
I saw a film like this once. I think it was called, “Bob & Carol & Ted & Don Young”.
[re=87298]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Pitbull with lipstick?
Here you are:
http://hcaa.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/queenelizabethii.jpg
MAVERICK.
[re=87305]Scarab[/re]: On the job. What do you think her name would be?
http://adultfriendfinder.com/geozones/swingers/United_States/Alaska/Wasilla/index.html
[re=87311]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Caribou Barbie
[re=87298]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]:
http://www.innovatingtowin.com/innovating_to_win/images/pig-lipstick.jpg Close enough?
[re=87309]S.Luggo[/re]:
Here’s another attempt to unravel the Todd Palin/Sarah Palin/Scott Richter/Debbie Richter/John Bitney gordian knot:
Aw crap, this is just another ‘fire-the-guy-we-don’t-like’ story. People we need lurid sex. Conservatives don’t care about ethics or political bullying, it’s penises that count.
[re=87311]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: HA! If I could get near that site at work, I’d absolutely be laughing my ass off. Try “TrigsMama” (yes, she’d be that stupid). Or maybe “HotTruckNutz” for Todd. One of those.
Brian Williams just said there was a massive release last night [of balloons] at the convention.
PLEASE tell me someone heard that.
[re=87311]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]:
On the job. What do you think her name would be?
Hmm, try ‘Queen Crab Legs’, ‘I-Did-a-Rod’, or maybe ‘The Deadliest Snatch’.
[re=87309]S.Luggo[/re]: From your source: Todd subsequently ended his business relationship with Richter as well as his friendship according to the Enquirer’s sources. They are hinting that as Todd worked against Bitney for having an affair with Debbie Richter, Sarah was having an affair with Scott.
Well that would piss old Todd off, now wouldn’t it?
These shenanigans have definite prime-time soap opera potential. Maybe I’ll vote for Walnuts, just to have something interesting going on in the White House besides black people and their hijinks.
http://gettingflak.blogspot.com/2008/09/signed-sealed-delivered.html
If there was anything really good such as threesomes with the chauffeur or masseurs and meth they’d have sealed it up long ago.
I was young once myself and understand about the joints and the drink…but shouldn’t at least one of your crew have taken advantage of your time in the Twin Cities to visit the real “Bridge to Nowhere”?
That I-35W Mississippi River bridge that collapsed and killed thirteen totally innocent people in Minneapolis? After Pawlenty shot down an effort by Democrats to raise money to rebuild the state’s infrastructure?
I’m not trying to get serious here. You could have visited the place and made truly hilarious comparisons between that wreck in the river and Ms. Palin’s noble raping of the taxpayers in the “lower” forty-eight to build bridges up there when we obviously need them down here.
[re=87300]jerryw[/re]: Yeah, I know. Ordinarily I’m such a nice polite young man!
[re=87321]Scarab[/re]: This is tough research. I know know that the grooming trends of the lower 48 are not the case in the Alaska. Let’s just say that they opt for warmth.
[re=87321]Scarab[/re]: This is rough work. The grooming trends of the lower 48 have not caught on in Alaska. Let’s just say they opt for warmth.
I just saw the Choke ad on Pandora.com. It kinda looks better there…or maybe it looks better on a HUMONGOUS mac screen, but it makes more sense. The overall point is not whether it actually looks better or worse…it just looks bad. I’m excited that Wonkette could get such a high-profile type advert (probably paid for a plane ticket or two), but it’s not making me happy.
I was also just thinking about the whole clogged alaskan intertubes and it got me thinking about the nature of a perfect online-driven-news-bandwidth-storm (kinda like hannah). I mean, you have to be official, credible, at a flash-point, super-relevant with super-revealing information, and unwitting. POOF! there go your servers. Lan-Bridge to Nowhere?
I meant “now know”, saw it and tried to stop it which I thought I had done successfully and then rewrote. Urgh!
In honor of Alaska I am going to play beer hockey.
Do please get home safely and take this CHOKEhold off my laptop. I used to love raspberry, now I’ve got fucking hives. Oh, and love your work in the Great White Heartland. Check your livers, and get back to battery, soon.
uhmmm…just a sick little thought…
it looks easy to set up a fake account on Adult Friend Finder….say, for a couple interested in other couples, using a certain Alaskan zip code…
After this CHOKE debacle, I can pretty much guarantee that the next time I see Sam Rockwell, I am going to punch him in the face.
I was always pretty likely to do that anyway, but at least now I have a [better] reason.
[re=87306]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]:
“Unless, of course, you believe the magic penis theory” (which of course, we do), but there’s no way Arlen Specter could be responsible for any of this, is there?
Now that the site is back up, where do I click to find the full story on Richter’s orgy with Bristol, Sarah, Todd and a moose (not to be mistaken for Richter, who is merely hung like a moose)?
[re=87335]anabellum[/re]: amazing. hahahaha
[re=87231]Aurelio[/re]: I love you. Come sit by me.
[re=87338]bitchincamaro[/re]: probably not after the chemo. But there is a place for Santorum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KS2f4Xzod0w
Palin addresses a meeting of the Alaska Fine Arts Council:
http://media.adn.com/smedia/2008/09/04/08/608-anon_6788.1220527235.standalone.prod_affiliate.7.jpeg
Sarah and the Alaska National Guard:
http://media.adn.com/smedia/2008/09/03/13/128-brawkalicious.1220458867.standalone.prod_affiliate.7
The Todd be hatin’ an elf: http://media.adn.com/smedia/2008/09/03/13/659-Maryokie.1220454918.standalone.prod_affiliate.7.jpeg
[re=87320]Spiro Agnew[/re]: I saw that too. I think Brian Williams feels like he’s a naughty boy whenever he’s on MSNBC. But poor Mrs. Greenspan, that would make her the star in a balloon bukakke.
[re=87305]Scarab[/re]: I see. And which sites do you ahhhh belong to?
While y’all were out truthin’ in the hinterland, unemployment’s hit a 5-year high. Just a coincidence?
[re=87328]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: BWAAAAAHHAAHAHA! Ahem.
[re=87345]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: you rascalrascalrascal !
[re=87348]sanantonerose[/re]:
Scarab: I see. And which sites do you ahhhh belong to?
GrannyTrannyFanny.com, don’t judge me.
[re=87345]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Come on now, you know the rules, and so do I.
[re=87341]JadedDIssonance[/re]: wadda ya think…would the logon ID..easyAKGuvpuss…turn a few heads?
[re=87351]sanantonerose[/re]: Yes. . .?
[re=87228]Aurelio[/re]: Richter scale references.. the the games begin!
[re=87356]Tybalt[/re]: [re=87353]bitchincamaro[/re]: You are the first and only victims of my rick roll rampage.
You’re looking on the wrong sites — with all the mooselovin’ and all, you’re more likely to find the bareacooter at alt.com. She’s gotta be into power play.
Wonkas and Wonkettes, dear dear hearts: PLEASE don’t worry your Uncle Oscar Folsom with such language, “we will all be on terrible planes flying in every direction, 9/11 times Infinity, the end.”
It seems like only yesterday that cousin Rudy loved America so much that she pulled down WTC building 7 and that hundreds of New York City’s finest heard the RDX explosions shake the Twin Towers…the Republicrat patriots reminded us again this week with their tasteful tribute to 9/11 theory.
It would break my heart to open the pages of the WaPo on Sunday morning and read, just under the crossword puzzle, a one-liner about how your plane hit the Pentagon tail first and had only been discovered by a night watchman who was later found to be an escaped drug cartel courier wanted in remotest Kazahkstan. No video or audio, nor black box recording, were ever found, but the passport of Mr Zailiysky was uncovered beneath the smoldering jet fuel.
Besides, now that they’re finished vetting Miss Moose and her brood of halfwit part-Alaskans, the FBI would not take kindly to any sheannigans on your part up there in the air….
Dan Quayle was right, you, know…
I get no kick in a plane
Flying too high
with some guy in the sky is my idea of nothing to do
Yes, Wonkettes, ’tis true, I get a kick
Out of you.
Do let us know once you’ve arrived safe and sound back in Brightwood! It would ease our collective pyrosis.
[re=87375]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: pyrosis?…dont you mean pyromania?
[re=87382]anabellum[/re]: hmmm…perhaps pyrosis is the new pyromania…
Goodbye.
I will not miss the helicopters. Circling. Over. My. House.
Left of the dial…Left of the dial.
[re=87355]Scarab[/re]: No judgment here. Whatever raises the water level below your dinghy.
[re=87360]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Alls I’m saying is it’s hot in Texas. We don’t need warmth.
So, you decided against appearing on Prairie Home Companion? That’s a snub. Without you on, that Garrison guy will have to talk more slowly to take up the gap.
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