• February 14, 2012

Service, 9/11, freedom, communities, blah blah blah let’s talk about other stuff — THE CORNER IS AWESOME RIGHT NOW. The consensus on Sarah Palin’s ABC interview over there is that their little girl wasn’t perfect, but she held her own against that Charlie Gibson and his mean preparatory work. No but really, that’s how they’re talking about the person who could be elected vice president in 54 days or so. “How many members of Congress, for instance, would have done as well?” someone writes. Well, probably many of them could define the Bush Doctrine, and they’re not even running for vice president! Anyway there’s some more good stuff but what were we supposed to be doing here? Oh right, liveblogging some boring Obama thing.

8:56 — Barack Obama says he could not afford an apartment in New York City anymore. Richard Stengel responds that “the faculty rates are pretty good.” Well OK!
8:57 — They are asking what 9/11 means to him. He says that when he looks back on it, he should’ve organized another plane hijack, even if it meant a few later nights at the office.
8:59 — He says we should’ve been bolder after 9/11 about decreasing reliance on foreign oil. A lady in the crowd screams because she has never heard another human being speak in her life.
9:00 — The president should’ve asked more a more inclusive sacrifice from the American people after 9/11. Look buddy, someone’s got to write the stupid penis jokes on blogs so don’t get all didactic.
9:02 — He brings up his national service plan even though Jonah Goldberg has already debunked it as slavery, a clear violation of the 13th Amendment.
9:04 — Dudes, check it:

Pretty in Politics [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Responding to a Corner post yesterday, a reader has a challenge for a Palin-friendly cosmetics company: Come up with a cool custom color — Pitbull Pink? — and donate the proceeds to benefit families who’ve welcomed children with Down Syndrome into the world.

09/11 01:10 PM

Super neat plan, K-Lo! Or you could just not exploit all children with Down Syndrome with political propaganda.
9:08 — He is bringing up one of his famous “Now Is The Moment” things, about how people hate the government so much that obviously they’ll want to get involved more.
9:09 — “…I graduated from Columbia…” You want a fucking cookie or something?
9:10 — “I had a choice: I could get a high-paying job at a…” Oh, this is that story that you’ve never not told around a group of humans.
9:11 — Barry tries to explain to this creepy Time editor that no, just because government adds a few new service programs doesn’t mean that anyone who wants to volunteer in the private sphere will be executed for opposing the state.

**OBSERVE SILENCE FOR 9:11 — THREE MINUTES YOU COMMENTERS, THREE MINUTES**

9:14 — Ok silence over, 9/11 is saved. God we have made so many terrible 9/11 jokes today. It was so taboo for so long! What happened? Oh right: Rudy Giuliani’s campaign. That’s not an exaggeration — he legitimized 9/11 Jokes. That is his legacy.
9:18 — “How do you stop the Army from losing so many officers?” Barry’s obviously focusing on the new G.I. Bill as an incentive, and that’s fine, but come on. There’s a very easy answer here, and while we won’t say it explicitly, it involves the concept of “less death all the time.”
9:21 — He will make us all go to war, old and young alike, with Sarah Palin across the Bering Strait. She will get us lost.
9:22 — Bring ROTC back on campus, he says. The Columbia students are Twittering frightened messages back to their mothers in Westchester.
9:23 — She asks how can you draw in a broader demographic cross-section to serve in the military short of a draft? And he says some boring shit about making people realize how great service can be, or that we all need to sacrifice. John McCain said more or less the same crap. It’s too bad, because it’s an extremely important question, and like many other important questions that neither candidate can tackle (usually with stagnant levels of household income and the weakness of economic indicators), it has to do with classism. It’s pretty pathetic that something that gaping in our society, and something getting worse every year with no end in sight, is never mentioned in any serious way at all. That says something pretty terrible about this country. Anyway, “jokes.”
9:30 — We weren’t paying attention closely. Something about a friend of his named “Eric,” and he and Eric loved each other so much that Barry didn’t care what political party he was in! Eric is Barack Obama’s America! Service.
9:32 — She asks Barry how he liked it when Sarah Palin called him a lazy street organizer in the ghettos. Was it belittling? “Being a community organizer, it be good.” Good lord this is terrible. How many ways can two people say that service makes you feel nice inside?
9:35 — Uh oh, he says part of his job as president would be to make government “cool” again. Arrogantpresumptuouscelebrity.
9:38 — When new people join his campaign, he works ‘em like dogs, he says. Doesn’t sound very “cool” to me.
9:40 — Good point about how 22-year-olds from this country are either (a) leading intense war missions of death in foreign countries or (b) treated more and more like babies with each passing year. Big shout out to Columbia!
9:42 — Well that was about as boring as expected. Couldn’t they jazz it up a little, throw in a little spice, to honor 9/11? No. But thank you, John McCain and Barack Obama, for telling America how fun service can be. And a special thank you to John McCain for brushing away the possibility that service could be related to economic incentives, or “money” as you call it.
9:52 — Ha OK, one more:

ROTC [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

I stood up and cheered Senator McCain for challenging Columbia at Columbia …

When Obama said it, though, she hid under her couch and played Tetris.
9:56 — OK and another thing, these CNN people are talking about Sarah Palin not knowing what the Bush Doctrine was, except they’re saying “there are lots of Bush Doctrines,” and they said her answer about responding to “imminent threats to our country” was fine! Hmm, isn’t it more about pre-emptive regime change before a threat can develop into an “imminent” one, and doesn’t her running mate subscribe to this starker version? It’s a question! Instead the CNN anchors go “whatever, people in the Midwest and heartland won’t care about any details, she stood in there fine enough!” Condescension aside, that may be true but you are the news and you are supposed to tell people these details. Anyway.
10:06 — I am *trying* to end this liveblog but CNN anchors cannot stop saying the worst possible things. David Gergen says he doesn’t think she knew about the Bush Doctrine, but — sit down for this — “Most people in this country don’t know what the Bush Doctrine is,” so what’s the big deal?

The McCain campaign has convinced our punditry that as long as Sarah Palin — the vice presidential candidate of the United States — knows as much about policy as the average mouth-breather in this country, then there’s nothing wrong with her.

{ 270 comments }

wallythepug September 11, 2008 at 8:57 pm

Barry owns this topic.

hrhkingfriday September 11, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Now he kind of reminds me of the black presidents in disaster movies, kickin aaaayassss!

jagorev September 11, 2008 at 8:59 pm

That scream just scared the shit out of me. What the fuck is wrong with you, Columbia students?

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 8:59 pm

I have a bush doctrine of my own, but straight chicks like Sarah Palin probs aren’t interested.

Gopherit v2.0 September 11, 2008 at 9:00 pm

“How is your opinion different from Senator McCain’s?”

Um, well, I’ve had it for a couple of years now. McCain finally heard me.

whiteasasheet September 11, 2008 at 9:02 pm

Notice that Woodruff NEVER asked Walnuts to get specific…

Godless Liberal * September 11, 2008 at 9:02 pm

He is giving intelligent, well-thought-out and reasoned answers.

No wonder America hates him.

stew September 11, 2008 at 9:03 pm

[re=93687]jagorev[/re]: yeah and it was for “energy independence”! Now I know how to pick up coeds these days. “Hey baby, ethanol’s duh bomb!”

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:04 pm

…why in the hell did she ask him to expand upon his answer just to tell him a second later that he only has a minute?

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Friggin’ liberal media. The very idea of a forum on service is biased! Where’s the forum on mayoral responsibilities, guys?

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star September 11, 2008 at 9:06 pm

According to five-thirty-eight, McCain is winning.

*sobs*

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:06 pm

[re=93697]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Next question: “In 25 words or less, explain in detail your healthcare plan.”

Godless Liberal * September 11, 2008 at 9:08 pm

Oh ho ho ho, Barry severely underestimates the pettiness of teachers’ unions.

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:08 pm

[re=93695]Godless Liberal *[/re]: …”Amerukans” only focuses on REAL issues like:

-NASCAR
-Huntin
-Killin brown people
-Moon shinin
-Bootleggin
-Hockey mommin

etc.

Keram2 September 11, 2008 at 9:08 pm

Is it ironic that I totally forgot this Never Forget festival?

jagorev September 11, 2008 at 9:08 pm

[re=93700]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: Better yet, where’s the forum on being a beer heiress or private equity chief? Service is for gays and communists.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:09 pm

This convo makes me want to field dress a moose.

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:10 pm

“being careful with the role of government” = Go fukk yourself, I got mine already!!!

whiteasasheet September 11, 2008 at 9:10 pm

Can’t vote for this guy. Too smart. Too many good ideas. Oh, and too black.

Godless Liberal * September 11, 2008 at 9:10 pm

[re=93705]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I am in favor of three of those things. How American am I, on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is a Luo tribesman and 10 is Larry the Cable Guy?

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:10 pm

[re=93703]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: …in one word describe the meaning of life!

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:11 pm

[re=93702]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]: Pollster still has Barry up in the ‘lectoral votes. They’ve put more in McCain’s column, though–I wonder which formerly too-close state is newly polling red?

Deserve Neither September 11, 2008 at 9:11 pm

Hopey’s hair is turning white right before my eyes!

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:12 pm

[re=93708]Dernyul[/re]: What would you dress it in? Just curious.

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 9:12 pm

[re=93705]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Hey, you say “moon shinin” like it’s BAD thing.

Don’t forget, we also kill teh yellows when we can.

I’m going to go sob into a bucket of Chardonnay now.

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 9:13 pm

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don’t say it, Barry! Don’t say it!

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:14 pm

[re=93711]Godless Liberal *[/re]: …well as long as one of your choices isn’t “Killin Brown People” then you are ok with me. For now!

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:15 pm

[re=93717]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: Something low slung and cut on the bias. Ooo, and an a pair of yellow Blahniks.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:16 pm

Is anybody else leaving the country if McCain wins? I kind of want to throw that out there before we get back to all this Communist Community Organizin’

Godless Liberal * September 11, 2008 at 9:20 pm

[re=93724]Dernyul[/re]: No, W has made it such that I cannot afford to leave. Ain’t that a bitch?

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 9:20 pm

[re=93724]Dernyul[/re]: Tempting, but I’m thinking maybe we should stick around and try to prevent them from taking away every right that citizens currently enjoy?

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:20 pm

[re=93723]Dernyul[/re]: Sounds good–although, I think some strappy Jimmy Choos might work better in the field.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:21 pm

Dude, I totally blew that 3 minutes of silence thing. :-/

There’s got to be a Patriot Act joke in here somewhere–something about being silenced because of 9/11? …no? Ok.

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:21 pm

[re=93724]Dernyul[/re]: Yeah, I’m moving to Alaska.

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:21 pm

[re=93718]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: …ehhhhh, moon-shine is only ok in 3 circumstances:

-You are trying get a chick drunk so she will sleep with your.

-You are about to sleep with a chick and you want “plausible deniablity”(e.g. “I don’t remember sleeping with that fat chick/your girlfriend/your mom/your dog”)

-Its the only alcoholic beverage in the house to drink(especially on Friday or Saturday night)

jagorev September 11, 2008 at 9:22 pm

“People in the midwest and south and southwest serve… but that’s not always the case in more urban areas.”

Et tu, Barry? God, why does everyone hate the coastal elites?

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 9:22 pm

Hopey just mentioned his grandparents. I think he needs to say ‘my white grandmother/father’; he needs to play the white race card more often.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:23 pm

“Is there anything more important about serving in the military in war time than in peace time?”

So, this dude’s just messing with us now, right?

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:23 pm

…Barry as a Green Beret?

echoman2000 September 11, 2008 at 9:24 pm

what’s up bitches? has anyones heart been ripped out of their chest, a fire started in the hole and then their heads cut off? cause they still do that shit down here in mexico. word.

Deathblog2000

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 9:24 pm

[re=93732]jagorev[/re]: I WAS JUST COMMENTING ON THAT!

It’s completely not true, dammit. My Southern Californian town is filled with people in military service, because it’s something you can do if you are a) poor b) too dumb for finaid to college.

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:24 pm

[re=93733]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: And don’t forget, he’s the son of man from Kenya and a man from Kansas.

paolaccio September 11, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Rudy Giuliani’s campaign. That’s not an exaggeration — he legitimized 9/11 Jokes. That is his legacy.

I finally feel a sense of gratitude for the ferretlike fascist. Thank you, Newell!

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:25 pm

[re=93732]jagorev[/re]: Aren’t most of the people in the service from New York and California?

Only the bohunks get the credit.

Barry just said ‘lifes.’

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 9:26 pm

[re=93724]Dernyul[/re]: I have dual citizenship. So yeah, see you, motherfuckers, on the other side.

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:26 pm

…is Barry running circles around WALNUTS! or what?!

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 9:27 pm

[re=93741]Delicious[/re]: Yeah, Terry Moran (or Moron).

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 9:27 pm

[re=93740]tunamelt[/re]: hence my sister, brother in two branches of the service, my dad was in the army, my grandparents in the air force, army

noidiotsplease September 11, 2008 at 9:28 pm

Why is it that 90% of the people I know that have entered military service in recent years have done so only because they had no other options? They were in trouble in school, with their parents or the law and they went in. They became great men and women, but at the time they entered their lives were falling apart.

Is this true for everyone, or is my experience the exception to the rule? Why is it that no one ever talks about this trend?

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:28 pm

[re=93743]paolaccio[/re]: And yet, when Rudy consciously tries to legitimize community service jokes, he comes off like a total douche. I guess the system still works.

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 9:28 pm

Ben Smith is saying Hopey is gonna be on SNL Saturday. Are he & Michael Phelps gonna wear Speedos? I eagerly await Sat. night; I might even try to stay sober enough to watch it!

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:28 pm

I hate the 9/11™ porn between Barry’s inspiring though communist propaganda.

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:28 pm

Breaking news!

Pamela Anderson has spoken out against Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin saying:”I can’t stand her. She can suck it!”

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 9:29 pm

okay screw this, I’m going to go get drunk at a Trojan Football rally. If anyone here is from Ohio or is an Ohio State fan, boo to you. beat the buckeyes.

don’t die of alcohol poisoning guys

irisheyes September 11, 2008 at 9:29 pm

the corner has moved on to “Where was MIchelle at today’s maudlin photo op at Ground Zero?”

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:29 pm

[re=93748]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I’m a little bored with this whole “service” talk, though–I’m just waiting to hear him reference some other kind of cosmetic product and something it’s not s’posed to be on so we can get back to the REAL issues here.

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 9:30 pm

okay wait, that was funny. make mccain be in obama’s cabinet.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:30 pm

[re=93751]noidiotsplease[/re]: I’m probably going into the reserves and I have four degrees, though most of my dirt poor backwater family went in because they liked Rambo and killing shit.

Godless Liberal * September 11, 2008 at 9:30 pm

[re=93753]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: He is going to make out with Tina Fey, as Sarah Palin.

apocalypsethen September 11, 2008 at 9:30 pm

how is obama doing? I have no idea because the tv is far away and soundless, and newell seems extremely angry about everything.

irisheyes September 11, 2008 at 9:31 pm

[re=93754]Dernyul[/re]: most excellent trademark

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:32 pm

“…what I did ask Matt what how did he get those fabulous abs.”

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Yeah, this “service” shit is boring and I can’t stand dirty poor people and their smelly cooking.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:32 pm

lulz, “was Palin being unfair by belittling community organizing?”

Beans September 11, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Finally, they ask about the Rs belittling his service.

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Newell’s getting all John Edwards on us.

InsidiousTuna September 11, 2008 at 9:35 pm

[re=93762]apocalypsethen[/re]: Barry’s doing well and being very professional and intelligent, like he always is.

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 9:35 pm

[re=93761]Godless Liberal *[/re]: Yeah & maybe Amy Poehler (as HRC) & Tina Fey (SP) could get into a real catfight. Must see TeeVee.

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:36 pm

…was government ever cool? I remember I use to beat up the kids in the Civics club!

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:37 pm

[re=93771]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: As long as McCain doesn’t live up to his nickname and join Barry and Mikey in their speedos. I absolutely don’t need to see his WALNTUS!

Beans September 11, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Yes! Make govt’ cool again–like JFK did. Shit. This isn’t even funny. I can’t even use an obscenity. Except I just did.

Some animation from my guy.

Oh, and on that Corner thing, they were bitching about Michele not being at the 9/11 thing–bitch was only staying home with her girls to be with them for their first week of school. Everyone knows only pit bulls in lipstick can be good mothers. Democrats need not apply.

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:38 pm

…did Barry just endorse child slavery?!?!?

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:39 pm

I love natural wilderness areas. I wish Barry would ravish the fuck out of me in a natural wilderness area.

Real issues are totally boring. Can we talk more about Lying Sarah and her shotgun wedding to the guy with a Styrofoam haircut and her white trash drunk daughter following in her footsteps? Or how the Palin daughter was so obvi miserable and betittied? No?

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:39 pm

…shameless plug for the Clinton administration! Well done my friend!

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:40 pm

Wait–”activist president”? That sounds like code.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:41 pm

HOORAY! IT’S OVER!

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Our National Service Nightmare is over, right?

Godless Liberal * September 11, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Is it over?

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Oh gawd, now David Gregory. I would literally rather watch moose mate than this jerk off.

echoman2000 September 11, 2008 at 9:41 pm

i’ve serviced myself into a stupor.

thank todd it’s over.

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 9:42 pm

…I hate David Gregory already. He just said there was no contrast between Barry and WALNUTS! What a douche!

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:42 pm

Chris Matthews is totally editorializing on ’60s fashion trends over on MSNBC. He’s such a dirty “commentator.”

Canmon (the Inadequate) September 11, 2008 at 9:43 pm

[re=93776]Beans[/re]: It’s funny how the Republicans have suddenly become champions of working women and Democrats now believe that women should stay home with their children.

Fighting Bill September 11, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Oh shit, he was serious and made perfect sense. He’s fucked. Why can’t he just say something like “perhaps we can inspire service by having a war with Russia.”

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:44 pm

Imagine Sarah Palin giving her “thoughts” at this service wankoff. heh

echoman2000 September 11, 2008 at 9:45 pm

[re=93785]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: moosemate2000

see how easy it is?

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:45 pm

[re=93785]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: We should write PMSNBC to ask that Chris and Keith go back on the anchor desk. David Simian Greggoy is only good at the dance, suck at the talk.

CAN HE STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRAMPS AND JESUS!?

I’m going to kill myself with Andrea’s botox.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star September 11, 2008 at 9:45 pm

[re=93780]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: oh, jesus, I was busy typing. When I looked up, Andrea Mitchell was on my teevee and I was like, “AI-YI-YI!”

Canmon (the Inadequate) September 11, 2008 at 9:45 pm

On CNN they just announced that the Apocalypse has begun in the form of hurricane Ike.

Rush September 11, 2008 at 9:46 pm

This service stuff is tedious.

Let’s talk about the movie from the 1980′s, War Games, in honor of this week’s war with Russia.

“Greeting, professor Falken, how about a nice game of chess.”

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:46 pm

Crazy Uncle Pat only yells the crazy things.

shortspantsshorts September 11, 2008 at 9:46 pm

[re=93787]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I had to Wikipedia the Imus thing because the Paultards running Wikipedia can explain it better than me:

“On March 2nd, 2006, Gregory appeared on Imus in the Morning via telephone from New Delhi, India. Within twenty seconds of the interview, Imus questions Gregory, “Are you drunk?”. This question went unclearly answered and followed with Gregory laughing continuously and rambling on about his trip, which Imus and his crew could not understand.”
_______________

So yeah I think that explains a lot.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:47 pm

I have to say that I am completely blown away at how positive Pat Buchanan (occasionally) is about ol’ Barry. Either he is trying to do a good job as an unaffiliated commentator, or he’s actually (occasionally) impressed by Obama.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 9:48 pm

[re=93797]Rush[/re]: Did you see me reference it earlier? I’m so on the same page with you.

Rush September 11, 2008 at 9:48 pm

[re=93795]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]:

Little known secret that Andrea is 1,056 years old. McCain told me.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:48 pm

McCain’s such a flipflopper: his VP wants to go to war (perhaps) with Russia, and meanwhile, he’s going to appoint a service Czar. Which is it, man?

echoman2000 September 11, 2008 at 9:48 pm

[re=93796]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: texasdeathwatch2000!

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 9:49 pm

Walnuts is going to be on Rachael Ray–I got nothing for that….

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:49 pm

More hurricanes. Less service.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 9:49 pm

[re=93802]Rush[/re]: And obviously immortal since she’s still standing after those Republican balloons attacked her and beat her senseless at the RNC.

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 9:50 pm

[re=93803]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: But will he really join Obama’s Politburo?

shortspantsshorts September 11, 2008 at 9:51 pm

[re=93803]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: It means duck and cover.

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 9:53 pm

[re=93794]Dernyul[/re]: I know. God forbid he actually analyze their policy difference & the different things that, you know, COME OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS. He is the laziest douche bag ‘journalist’ or whatever the hell he thinks he is. He probably has a picture of himself by his bed that he kisses every night before he goes to bed.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star September 11, 2008 at 9:53 pm

[re=93800]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: well, remember how Thurmond and that Robert Byrd like, reformed, and kind of started liking colored folk before they died? Maybe Buchanan is starting to see the same light or something.

… wait. What do you mean, Robert Byrd isn’t dead yet?

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star September 11, 2008 at 9:54 pm

this shit just isn’t the same without Olbermann’s vitriol.

OffTheRecord September 11, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Okay, me and my motor vehicle were busy almost being eliminated by someone who probably should have never been aloud to drive. Did I miss anything important? You know, beside Mooselini declaring war on the USSR and this little never forget throw down?

Rush September 11, 2008 at 9:54 pm

[re=93807]Viva la Cynthia[/re]:

I’d tap it.

echoman2000 September 11, 2008 at 9:54 pm

texas, oh! sweet bitter buckfucking texas. jeebus begat ike to blow down the fence. the end.

sezme September 11, 2008 at 9:55 pm

Excellent liveblog! Newell at his most withering: me likey!

irisheyes September 11, 2008 at 9:55 pm

So, I’m watching CNN, and wow. They are actually giving Palin mad credit and felt she got a lot right. “Most people aren’t sure what NATO is…so shewas right.” And Kay Bailey Hutchinson didn’t feel that Palin seemed at all unaware of what the Bush Doctrine. Oy.

Rush September 11, 2008 at 9:57 pm

[re=93801]Dernyul[/re]:

Uhhh, you are asking me to have sufficient attention span to scroll back and research prior comments??? I’m only good at dick jokes and Dice Clay impressions…sorry.

Special Agent Jack Mehoff September 11, 2008 at 9:57 pm

[re=93695]Godless Liberal *[/re]: Yeah, what a deep thinking well thought out nuanced gasbag of epic proportions or whatever.

Ilikepigeons September 11, 2008 at 9:58 pm

Is walnuts really going to talk e v d o with rachel vomit ray?

echoman2000 September 11, 2008 at 9:59 pm

[re=93818]irisheyes[/re]: Corn Nut News

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 10:00 pm

[re=93809]Delicious[/re]: Let’s hope McCain quits [i]stallin’[/i] and get’s with Barry’s [i]5 year plan[/i].

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 10:00 pm

[re=93818]irisheyes[/re]: Shit, I know what NATO is & I stay home with my two rugrats all day. If this woman pulled a Miss Jr. SC, they’d be like ‘oh, isn’t she precious?’

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 10:01 pm

[re=93813]Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star[/re]: Or Matthews’ windblown hair. They need to put him outside more often.

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 10:01 pm

[re=93822]Ilikepigeons[/re]: You mean, EVOO? Or maybe you meant, EVIL?

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star September 11, 2008 at 10:01 pm

Watching Maddow… jeez, McCain looks so (old) short next to Barry.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 10:02 pm

[re=93824]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: total italics fail. I’ll just write an allcaps WINK instead.

Ilikepigeons September 11, 2008 at 10:02 pm

did she say we need more maps?

Delicious September 11, 2008 at 10:06 pm

According to Andrea Mitchell, Obama is preparing a set of ads that will rip his feeble heart from his atrophied body.

A girl can always dream.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend September 11, 2008 at 10:06 pm

I love the way McCain blamed Obama for the tone of the campaign– “He didn’t go to my Republican Town halls so I get to bash him!” These people are fucking idiots.

Hooray For Anything September 11, 2008 at 10:06 pm

[re=93818]irisheyes[/re]: Don’t crush my hopes and dreams by telling me that the stupid chattering class is being stupid again. Why couldn’t you say something like how David Gergen admitted to throwing up in his mouth when he heard Palin speak or how Wolf Blitzer says that McCain’s wolf ad gives wolves a bad name or damnit, anything other than “well, she appears to be brighter than Britney Spears so A+!”

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Does Chris have some shit in the corner of his mouth for always?

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Ahahaha–Matthews: “It’s impossible to fail as much as Bush has.”

hockeymom September 11, 2008 at 10:11 pm

[re=93818]irisheyes[/re]:
I just caught the end of Hume’s show. Kristol, Hume, Barnes et al, didn’t seem that enthusiastic…but I watched only the last few minutes. Juan Williams got the last word and said something along these lines “Are any of you more confident after that interview that she could be president”….and there was pretty much silence. Kristol made some noises to the affirmative, but everyone else was just silent. So I’m thinking that the non-wolf murdering republicans are falling out of love.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 10:14 pm

I wish Chris Matthews would stop sucking McCain’s nuts.

stew September 11, 2008 at 10:14 pm

Rachel Maddow is my new favorite lesbian (outside of porn at least).

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Richard Clarke coming up on my lesbian lover, Rachel Maddow’s show.

hockeymom September 11, 2008 at 10:17 pm

That areva commercial is making me dance in my chair.

Walter Sobchak September 11, 2008 at 10:18 pm

[re=93810]shortspantsshorts[/re]: What happened to your screen name?

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 10:19 pm

[re=93839]hockeymom[/re]: Wouldn’t it be sweet if Powell, Lugar & Hagel came out & endorsed Hopey tomorrow. These guys are serious foreign policy Republicans. They must be horrified at the thought of Palin.

I actually kind of like Hume (he used to be a real journalist); he’s retiring in Dec. & has nothing to lose by being honest.

ZippyDee September 11, 2008 at 10:19 pm

The story is the switchover. Just saw replay of Obama entering and McCain exiting. The HUG! McCain jumps, twitches, blinkey-blink-blinks like a remote-control Bernie with the circuits shorting out! That pasty lurchy grin and puppety thumbs up like a reanimated corpse of Nixon with less grace.

Strappo September 11, 2008 at 10:21 pm

[re=93751]noidiotsplease[/re]: it’s a cliche.

ZombieRichardFeynman September 11, 2008 at 10:24 pm

Speaking of national service, what’s so bad about a draft? The Army gave me a chance to grow up while supplying 3 meals and a roof most of the time. Also people don’t often mention some of the rest of the reasons besides poverty for joining. In 1967 I quit college and volunteered (granted, I was 1A and already had my draft physical, so it was happening anyway) because Vietnam was the central event of my generation and I knew I would always feel like I had not fully experienced life if I stayed away. As Sam Johnson said “Every man thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier”. I learned a lot more during my 4 years in the Army than I learned at Berkeley when I came back and went to school on the GI Bill. I’m all for a 3-year draft for everybody. In 2 years you don’t have time to get your training, master your job and be useful.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 10:24 pm

Completely off topic (I guess), but has anyone been to Bob Barr’s website? It’s a total Barry website knockoff in style, though the colors are more muted…ha.

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 10:25 pm

Wow, Lee Cowan’s teeth are whiter than Walnuts hind end (I’d wager). Lay off the Crest White Strips dude.

Algy Pug September 11, 2008 at 10:25 pm

This all feels like a win for McCain. If it isn’t sharp, point, and attached to the forehead of an angry unicorn, anything Hopey says is useless. Fearlessness, not gamesmanship, is the only way to overcome the profound stupidity of the majority of the American electorate. That said, he should avoid snide or puerile comments directed at Sarah “I see devils when I look at that girl” Palin.

Mr Blifil September 11, 2008 at 10:28 pm

I thought the Bush Doctrine was where Dick Cheney sticks his hand up your ass and makes you jiggle around like a ventriloquist’s dummy, and after he extracts his upper arm, you have to go to the Doctrine.

druranium September 11, 2008 at 10:32 pm

[re=93847]ZippyDee[/re]: Exactly. This is what I saw and I was wondering if anyone else saw it too. Why the fuck is he so twitchy and blinky? Oh well, five and a half years I suppose. A horrible walking corpse that will haunt us until the end of days.

shortspantsshorts September 11, 2008 at 10:33 pm

[re=93845]Walter Sobchak[/re]: Banned and reborn.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 10:33 pm

I really wish I were Gristled Richard Clarke, Specialist in Terrorism Awesome.

ZippyDee September 11, 2008 at 10:37 pm

[re=93857]druranium[/re]: Yes, the twitching! I’m just scared he is actually just skin covering an evil collection of cockroaches with ambitions on world domination. Fucking insects, man!

Smoke Filled Roommate September 11, 2008 at 10:41 pm

[re=93853]Algy Pug[/re]: This is basically ‘Republicans Day’, as I see it. You can be reverent and stick a flag on your porch and a magnet on your car and remember all the [wealthy] people who died in Manhattan (something Billybob types would never care to notice), where you were at that time, etc., but still at the end of the week, most people find they can’t afford shit. Hopey must be persistent in staying on topic which he has done already with aplomb. The majority of the American electorate has a very short attention span, no? I say two weeks then call in the 527′s as needed.

DoctorCulturae September 11, 2008 at 10:42 pm

[re=93847]ZippyDee[/re]: Yes! This has got to get onto the youtubes! So weird, a twitching fit! I thought he morphed into Frank Gorshin.

http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/368/frank_gorshin_riddler1.jpg

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 10:42 pm

I am SO ashamed. I had no idea what the Bush Doctrine was. You could have asked me what the Bush Doctrine was, and I would have said “Some fucked up motherfucking shit.” I would have been right, but still.

Walter Sobchak September 11, 2008 at 10:43 pm

[re=93858]shortspantsshorts[/re]: They really banned you? What could you have possibly said to get banned from Wonkette? Shit, back in the old days AMC would get ginned up and post about desecrating Reagan’s corpse with a weed wacker. Or something, I don’t remember, those were the dark ages, and we were all pretty loaded. I wondered earlier today what the hell went on, when I saw the admin post.
Well, glad to see it didn’t slow you down!

Rush September 11, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Is the war with Russia over yet? Vodka prices are going through the roof.

Walter Sobchak September 11, 2008 at 10:45 pm

[re=93871]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I would feel a thousand times better about Palin if that had actually been her response.

Rush September 11, 2008 at 10:45 pm

[re=93871]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:

Don’t be so hard on yourself, I would have thought a M. Etheridge concert.

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Do y’all remember when Bush refused to debate Gore at all, and then he did and he was absolutely ridiculous, and the MSM was like “Bush won just by showing up!”?

shortspantsshorts September 11, 2008 at 10:48 pm

[re=93875]Walter Sobchak[/re]: Seriously. The best woman in the world was asked one question per day, over an extended period of time. She was given the question prematurely as well, which makes her even more awesome and totally respectable. Do you think Mrs. Palin knows a dandy’s shit about the Orange revolution? UMM NO because she is busy being World’s Best Mom.

Viva la Cynthia September 11, 2008 at 10:51 pm

[re=93852]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Dang, I’m more concerned about that tie/shirt combination he’s attempting. Did he lose a bet?

Smoke Filled Roommate September 11, 2008 at 10:54 pm

The hooackey moom’s knoowledge on foreign policy is *surprise* clearly fucking lacking. But she lives so close! Asshole. Bet she doesn’t know a Tsar from hemophilia from a fucking hole in the ground. But hey– She a Mommy that other Mommies can relate to! Yay!

kapish September 11, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Some of you apparently actually watched or listened to this shit!
Mention of Hegel and Hume (naturally) makes me wonder who Heidegger would endorse.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 10:55 pm

[re=93878]shortspantsshorts[/re]: My pal just said that ‘the Bush Doctrine’ sounds made up. I had to explain that I’d just written 90 pages on it and it wasn’t terribly new stuff. I don’t mind my friends and snarky online acquaintances not knowing about the basics of foreign policy – just so long as they don’t run to be the one melanoma from the presidency.

Speaking of John McCain’s head, wasn’t it nice they shot him from the front today so you could see that huge gland on the side of his face? Thank you, C-Span. i <3 trapezoids.

ZippyDee September 11, 2008 at 10:56 pm

[re=93877]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Sweet Lord! I got punked on that one! I heard it on radio in my car and I thought, merveilleux! Gore won! But when I got home, SHOCK! No, apparently Gore rolled his eyes, so Prince Monkey won the day, and the country, or course.

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 10:56 pm

[re=93865]ZippyDee[/re]: Does that make Barack Obama… Will Smith?

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 10:56 pm

[re=93879]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: Srsly. That fucking combo’s caused me, my parents, my cats and borrowed children to have epileptic fits. Not as much as hearing Bush marblemouth ‘liberty.’

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Wow, Hannity’s knickers are in a major Fox wad. Lanny Davis is actually doing a good half-hearted attempt to bash Palin. Whenever I watch Hannity, I think that there is no one on Earth I’d rather see in the Pen. (Yeah, you know what I mean.)

Walter Sobchak September 11, 2008 at 10:58 pm

[re=93878]shortspantsshorts[/re]: C’mon, she knows about the Orange Revolution. That’s when the Supreme court made Bush President, thus lowering the bar enough for her to end up where she is today.

Rush September 11, 2008 at 11:01 pm

[re=93886]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:

Texan, you are a great American.

ZippyDee September 11, 2008 at 11:02 pm

[re=93884]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Well is Joe Biden not born to be played by Tommy Lee Jones? Does that make Sarah Lara Flynn Boyle?

shortspantsshorts September 11, 2008 at 11:05 pm

[re=93882]Dernyul[/re]: THAT HUGE GLAND IS FROM 5 AND A HALF YEARS, DERYUL.

It’s such a ridiculous situation for the Repulicans that *****************************************. Sorry I cannot say it, I will be banned for being secksist by not Pope Cat.
Poor, poor Republicans. I will donate $5.00 to the next Republican I see on the street, with their forever foreclosed home.

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 11:05 pm

[re=93890]ZippyDee[/re]: OMG. You are so incredibly right. She’s MADE for a black patent leather suit.

Political Addict September 11, 2008 at 11:07 pm

Did Barry realize that Joe Biden flunked ROTC at the University of Delaware, which I know is true because I read it on Wikipedia before it was scrubbed?

How do you fail ROTC? Well, maybe be drunk a lot and not get up early enough in the morning to march around the football field. But Joe Biden is never drunk.

ZippyDee September 11, 2008 at 11:08 pm

[re=93893]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I KNEW I had seen this movie before!

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 11:10 pm

[re=93889]Rush[/re]: Thanks. I do what I can: vote, recycle, drive a SUV…oh wait.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 11, 2008 at 11:10 pm

[re=93894]Political Addict[/re]: McCain graduated fifth from the bottom in his class at the Naval Academy…

obfuscator September 11, 2008 at 11:11 pm

Oh goooody, MSNBC is running their 9/11 coverage for the second time today. Super.

Algy Pug September 11, 2008 at 11:15 pm

[re=93873]Walter Sobchak[/re]: I’m glad they ban commenters who make inappropriate and misogynistis comments. That way the world is a better place and no one is uncomfortable.

BTW did you know that the eytmology of the word “cretin” comes from the old French “chretien,” which means “Christian” or “Ginger”?

accidental_tourist September 11, 2008 at 11:15 pm

I would never vote for a man who likes to bomb people from planes and a woman who likes to kill animals from planes. They have too much in common against humanity.

Jack Nicholson was born to play McCain in the movie. Nicholson has that creepy, guttural McCain sneer down pat from playing serial killers.

obfuscator September 11, 2008 at 11:17 pm

[re=93902]accidental_tourist[/re]: I’m thinking a Joe Pesci/Jack Nicholson hybrid of some sort. With teeth as yellow as the finest melted butter in all the land.

Cogito Ergo Bibo September 11, 2008 at 11:18 pm

More Palin vs. Gibson on Nightline! Pour a drink. Or three. You might need it.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 11:21 pm

I’m watching OZ now in homoerotic hyperviolent protest to the 9/11™ porn on MSNBC.

Word is that there are other news channels, but I’m not sure my liberal sensibilities would allow me to go where Rachel does not.

InKnockYouUs September 11, 2008 at 11:25 pm

Bush has a doctrine named after him!?! WTF. That is ridiculous. Is he like Monroe or one of those presidents who actually had a functioning brain?

DC Spring September 11, 2008 at 11:31 pm

[re=93859]Dernyul[/re]: Wahoo, another fan. Platinum! Check out the chapter on titan rain.

[re=93882]Dernyul[/re]: Wow, yr really really nto foreign polly? I so sympathize. It’s the consequences that you need to look at.

Can some ekonomist suggest how I can do long equity positions on diplomats’ pools? They look like a good bet.

Ah well, back to the financials. It’s just that in terms of surrealism and snark, the financials are where it’s at right now.

AnnieGetYourFun September 11, 2008 at 11:34 pm

[re=93858]shortspantsshorts[/re]: For serious? Wow, and I think of you as a sort of Wonkette icon. You must have said some f’ed up shit.

Jim Newell September 11, 2008 at 11:39 pm

[re=93892]shortspantsshorts[/re]: You, alone, are a Nation of Whiners. What happened to the old days when you could ban someone (and that was Sara by the way who wrote the post, but we both agreed you should be banned) and they wouldn’t whine all day in a facebook group? And if they found a loophole back in they wouldn’t be surly? People have gotten so soft, and take the internet so personally!

We need more frequent purges. People aren’t banned for filthy comments per se, just when they are using filthy comments that aren’t funny because they, as commenters, have nothing funny to say.

Dernyul September 11, 2008 at 11:41 pm

[re=93912]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: He was totally a starred commenter when the world permitted such a thing. All of this alternating of shorts to pants to shorts again really throws me. I known’t who I am anymore in this strange new world.

Has anyone written MSNBC to try and get Chris and Keith back on the desk? I’m calling bullshit on MSNBC.

According to CNN, John McCain’s teeth are the color of delicious buttered popcorn.

InKnockYouUs September 11, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Wow. Right. Frequent purges. I’m new here, but this is so exciting. Whining. Facebook. Oops I might be stepping in it. Jim and Sara rock!!!!! And anal rape can be a little boring.

Jim Newell September 11, 2008 at 11:57 pm

[re=93892]shortspantsshorts[/re]: Besides, we were going to reinstate you in a few days anyway. SO STOP BEING WEIRD.

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 12:00 am

[re=93915]Jim Newell[/re]: That’s just fucked up. I have not only been a loyal Wonkette commenter, but I have been an advocate of shutting idiots the fuck up. Why am I P.O’ed? Because the editor who gave me a star is not HEEER to give me a promotion. I love you Jim, and I think your threads are worthy of master-da-ba-shun, but I don’t know why you have taken this hate route. WHY HATE shortsshortshorts? There are bigger fish to fry.

KittyKatMan September 12, 2008 at 12:00 am

Since its raining shit all over Palin and the press is finally catching on, I think it’s time for Palin to parade her permanently impregnated offspring on TV to fire up the base again.

AnnieGetYourFun September 12, 2008 at 12:02 am

[re=93915]Jim Newell[/re]: We all knew it was Sara. But, as I pledge some serious allegiance to Sara, I forgive her.

[re=93916]Dernyul[/re]: I didn’t even notice the change. I just miss SayItWithWookies. As he never really says anything offensive, I’m sure he wasn’t banned, and is probably just being social or something tonight. But… well, I’ll admit it: I’m addicted to his snark.

KittyKatMan September 12, 2008 at 12:03 am

This whole Palin ( Bubble Girl ) interview thing has got to be the weirdest thing I’ve seen in the news.

TexasCowGirl September 12, 2008 at 12:09 am

[re=93757]irisheyes[/re]: Barry knew that Michelle would have beat Cindi’s ass for questioning her patriotism and told her to give half of that ass whipping to Elizabitch Hasselback for dissing her at the RNC.

Viva la Cynthia September 12, 2008 at 12:15 am

[re=93907]Dernyul[/re]: I am definitely having that feeling too, and I think it means that I’m going to have to officially swear off men soon.

ZippyDee September 12, 2008 at 12:16 am

Oh. And Sarah wants to reinstate the search for WMD, being as her boy Track is going off with his buddies to fight the evil perps who brought us this dismal holiday. Sez the WaPo.

They want to make us a zombie tribe living the same eight years over, and over, and over, and over…

Smoke Filled Roommate September 12, 2008 at 12:16 am

[re=93926]KittyKatMan[/re]: Yeah, where were the advisors? She didn’t study hard enough, or the Cyrano lines met interference.

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 12:16 am

[re=93915]Jim Newell[/re]: Neither do you.. I have been reading this blog long before you came on board, and I have respected you because you have the wit of a thousand shot-down angels and a number of pre-Beatified saints. In fact, I advocate you in those sore moments where people aren’t coming here and enjoying the horse shit that we throw on them. Why become a Paultard now? With all the love I have given your site (mostly for your editor, who is awesome), and with all the people I have brought on board… Why Paultard?

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 12:19 am

I demand a RonPaulogy.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 12, 2008 at 12:20 am

[re=93931]ZippyDee[/re]: I thought she would personally be at the Memorial site conducting a press conference extolling the virtues of Track and her party..

ZippyDee September 12, 2008 at 12:25 am

[re=93936]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I had $50 on her dropping down on the event by parachute from Track’s air transport, looking up lovingly at him and blowing kisses his way while she drifted to earth. With Trig strapped to her brave chest.

DC Spring September 12, 2008 at 12:25 am

[re=93915]Jim Newell[/re]: Newell -c’mon.

Shortsies has been an asset to this site. A little serious in posts gone by recently, which have been accepted for posting and not removed, and ok waaaay short on snark and surreal, which I much prefer, but Wonkette Exec Branch needs to consider the Identity Challenge post that I did about two weeks ago. Is yr Facebook argument really valid? C’mon, let’s keep the supposed infraction within this community, not others. That would not be fair, however annoying the posts got in your opinion. There’s no posting policy published, unlike other sites, so how can you ping people in absence of a disclosed policy?

My question was are you guys more interested in breaking stories, snarking stories, or being stories? We’ve had a crazy couple of weeks on this front at the spiking end of an political cycle. You guys, and Sarah obv, need to figure a threshold policy going forward, otherwise we’re going to have more posts out of bounds, and complaints. And arguments.

I’m big and good on #2, ie snarking stories: as long as it’s snarky and I can post with a surrealist bent, that’s great.

It would mean that serious news/leaks get sent off to the great orange satan.

Jim – can we have another thread on this, because I think the wider commentariat needs to have a voice on whatever you guys come up with.

Sgd

A colder, icier DC Spring

Jim Newell September 12, 2008 at 12:28 am

[re=93933]shortspantsshorts[/re]: JESUS, I wasn’t saying you are *always* unfunny, you just tend to go overboard sometimes with these terribly horrific bestial rape shouts that get old after they’ve been used zero times already. These terrible news weeks make your editors TESTY and more likely to ban anyone at will due to depression.

RonPaul September 12, 2008 at 12:29 am

[re=93935]shortspantsshorts[/re]: Sorry bro.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 12, 2008 at 12:31 am

[re=93937]ZippyDee[/re]: What about a brown baby on her back as well? Or maybe tandem jumping with Bridget McCain?

Smoke Filled Roommate September 12, 2008 at 12:32 am

[re=93943]Jim Newell[/re]: Oh fucking Christ you guys, get a room..

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 12:33 am

[re=93943]Jim Newell[/re]: I know this, and will become magically moderate. Unban my work I.P and I will lover you. That bj on the V train will mean nothing.

Atoz September 12, 2008 at 12:36 am

speaking of, when do we start the Wonkette debate watching parties in NYC? I don’t know how much more of this I can take alone with my Bombay Sapphire. I need to feel like I’m not the only quasi-sane person with a nonpixellated experience.

Dernyul September 12, 2008 at 12:38 am

[re=93937]ZippyDee[/re]: The funny thing is that I don’t even think Track, Tacoma, Temple University or whateverthefuck is even shipping out today. I hate that failed sportscaster, she wants the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud. Yuck.

Now I’m back to lusting after barely legal Cajun boys on the MTV version of COPS. I live a full, full life.

[re=93944]RonPaul[/re]: Awesome.

Dernyul September 12, 2008 at 12:39 am

[re=93947]shortspantsshorts[/re]: What the fuck is that, spy code?

KittyKatMan September 12, 2008 at 12:41 am

[re=93932]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Apparently Joe Lieberman’s tutoring failed. he must have been distracted by her feedbags.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star September 12, 2008 at 12:42 am

[re=93943]Jim Newell[/re]: Jesus, it’s just like that moment in a movie where the romantic leads are yelling at each other, then stop to stare at each other intensely, then make out.

ZippyDee September 12, 2008 at 12:45 am

[re=93945]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: You are just about to get yourself hired by McCain uber alles, Inc., young Smokey!

I would like to retire, at least for the night, but the endless firehose of absurdity may need my attention. McCain just released an ad accusing Obama of calling Sarah good looking and obedient. Sez Nwzweak. I might have to fire off a strongly worded rebuke to…someone… This John Don’t-Talk-About-Honor McCain dude is really getting his money’s worth out of his vile scumbag alter ego.

hockeymom September 12, 2008 at 12:47 am

[re=93948]Atoz[/re]:

Or Wonkette debate watching parties in the fly-over states. It can get lonely out here.

Jim Newell September 12, 2008 at 12:49 am

[re=93938]DC Spring[/re]: What the hell? It doesn’t matter what we post; commenters should always be some combination of interesting and funny, whatever you’re better at, which is what the disclosure that we have when you sign up says. It also says that you can be banned for any reason at any time.

shorts was banned for a comment on this site, not anywhere else, and btw I was mentioning the OFFICIAL WONKETTE FACEBOOK GROUP which is public and which you can join, for free, along with hundreds of your other friends.

the great orange satan does not break stories.

ZippyDee September 12, 2008 at 12:50 am

[re=93949]Dernyul[/re]: Well if you heard her interview you would know in NO uncertain terms she is SENDING her boy to EyeRack! So that damn military better get its act together or she will FIRE their sorry asses! And I am pretty sure she is the boss of all of them anyway. Don’t think she’s foolin either because she does that shit 3 or 4 times a week!

DC Spring September 12, 2008 at 12:51 am

Oh freaking nailed CHRIST, there’s an apostrophe missing at line six my para above. It should be “others’ “. Fk fk fk! My whole day is ruined. Gimme a nail, I’ll try it at home.

Has Newell done the right thing yet? I’ve had some distractions.

hatlesshead September 12, 2008 at 12:52 am

[re=93915]Jim Newell[/re]: After reading the depressing posts in the Corner, I came back over here for a good laugh. So sorry you have to play mama, but this is just no fun. Seems to me you already set the boundaries for comments. It’s that gosh darn Caribou Barbie’s fault. She has fudged up everything, and caused insurrection everywhere….. except Alaska. They’re as happy as pigs in shit. It’s about the oil stupid. Drill now. Drill now.

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 1:01 am

[re=93959]Jim Newell[/re]: Yes well that was a fuck up. Not in the sense of a stupid dumb fuck up, but in the more simpler sense of being more “like” tolerant. You fucked up Jim. You are awesome, but you fucked up. We’re talking about loyal readers here. Yes, the Palin comment this morning was stupid, but the I.P. ban was just downright unfair. Please give this dumb fuck shortsshortsshorts back. He is also, if not unequivocally, the biggest idiot ever to browse this ‘ere website.

hockeymom September 12, 2008 at 1:02 am

[re=93964]hatlesshead[/re]:
If you want depressing, go over and read Malkin. She’s currently trying to drum up a controversy about the way McCain and Obama placed flowers at Ground Zero. Obama “flung” his rose while McCain, thoughtfully and respectfully laid a rose on the memorial.

If this gets into tomorrow spin cycle, I swear I’m going to do…something. I don’t know. Maybe borrow my kid’s hockey stick at take a slap shot at a picture of Malkin.

Dernyul September 12, 2008 at 1:10 am

[re=93966]hockeymom[/re]: She’s so fucking gross. H8.

Jim Newell September 12, 2008 at 1:13 am

[re=93965]shortspantsshorts[/re]: You are literally the most annoying person to ever type on a keyboard, and for that reason you will have to wait until tomorrow morning to see if your precious “work” account is now functional, at your “job,” which is to fuck whales in outer space.

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 1:15 am

[re=93959]Jim Newell[/re]: I want to proverbially vote Palin in the White House asses, for funs (Yah knows, not in deh disrespectin’ wah. Dis is outside of teh Barry Washington politics).

AnnieGetYourFun September 12, 2008 at 1:21 am

[re=93968]Jim Newell[/re]: Hehe. You are SO cute when you are vaguely irritated.

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 1:23 am

[re=93968]Jim Newell[/re]: I happen to find you a child of crazy bitters. It is as if you born into a cyborg replication of Moose-a-leen-iees fascism. I don’t know what went wrong with you, but you have become the worst cretin I have ever seen. In this respect, I have do not respect. However, as a child of satanic blogs (such as the one you have recently chosen to attempt to try to dominate), I have kept it Civil. You, however, believe you have bigger fish to fry. That is fucking ridiculous.

DC Spring September 12, 2008 at 1:23 am

[re=93959]Jim Newell[/re]: Jim – no way, on many trivial levels.

But hey, Wonkette ain’t my site and ain’t my life, I’m just passing through in between radon meter readings, but I thought yr 12:28pm post was a bit tough.

What I want to see next, at risk of being banned for excess serious:

- ameliorate your 11:39pm post, it’s just not right. Purges??? C’mon.
- reinstate shortsshortsshorts in full; do a goofy welcome back to blogger story or some shit
- publish a what’s not acceptable policy for posts [seriously, the random judgments are just not right]

I never thought Wonkette Exec Branch would approve blogger waterboarding.

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 1:29 am

You can ban the shorts (which is terribly mean), but Pope Cat is a traveled, well educated man. Pope cat make you suffer long time (for Jeebus, Allah and Zarathustra).

Jim Newell September 12, 2008 at 1:30 am

[re=93972]shortspantsshorts[/re]: You cannot even read words. If you could read words you would know that my comment was over-the-top because it was BANTER because I obviously have UNBANNED your old name, OK, and when you UNBAN someone you are a pussy of a disciplinarian and you get FAKE ANGRY to hide your insecurities, the end.

hatlesshead September 12, 2008 at 1:34 am

[re=93966]hockeymom[/re]: I’ll bet they’re saying stuff like: When Obama tossed his rose that way, I could tell what he was thinking … I would piss all over your grave but I’ll save that till later ’cause I gotta become president first.

facehead September 12, 2008 at 1:35 am

[re=93976]Jim Newell[/re]: The feelgood move, for sure. I’m gonna go sit naked on a hot fudge sundae.

shortspantsshorts September 12, 2008 at 1:37 am

[re=93976]Jim Newell[/re]: Dude. Whoa. It’s a blog. Take the period away. I am drunk. I appreciate it and will love you long time with secret Chuck Norris action pants.

http://finickypenguin.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/chuck-norris-action-jeans.jpg

With love,
Sarah Palin

ThePuckStopsHere September 12, 2008 at 1:38 am

Listen, I’m new here and I’m a little bit ah-skeered, now. Can I call Walnuts a c**cksucker anytime I don’t like the look on his face or not, or will have to make do with some variation of the phrase Lip Service?

And as long as I’m askin’…what exactly is (or are) a “Truck Nutz” and what is a “Whore Diamond” and how do I get me some of those?

hatlesshead September 12, 2008 at 1:42 am

Hey Skipper, Marianne and Ginger: Read my labia. Shut the fuck up, all of you on this banning bullshit. Or at least take it outside. This is worse than having that magenta ad background.

grendel September 12, 2008 at 1:45 am

[re=93966]hockeymom[/re]: The way I read the body language was that McCain was unable to generate the arm movement to do anything but feebly set them down… kind of like when he was stroking and caressing Levi’s arm…

Neilist September 12, 2008 at 1:52 am

[re=93968]Jim Newell[/re]: Jim, I find it OUTRAGEOUS that we have purges in here without ANY show trials.

How the HELL can you expect to keep the outstanding candidates of Liberty Law School employed, after Hopey takes over and purges (that word again) the DOJ, if you don’t have show trials.

I think Monica Gooding would have been a perfect “defense” lawyer for the Military Wreckers Trials in Moscow in the 1930s:

“If it please the Presidum, in defense of my client I aver, in the STRONGEST possible terms, that he’s GUILTYGUILTYGUILTY! The defense rests.”

Jim Newell September 12, 2008 at 1:52 am

[re=93982]hatlesshead[/re]: I have no clue who you are, so I will now ban your IP address to balance out the unbanning of shorts.

facehead September 12, 2008 at 1:54 am

[re=93981]ThePuckStopsHere[/re]: To dispell a common misperception, “Whore Diamond” is not a film with DiCaprio where he saves Sarah Palin from being raped by an iceberg. Cf.,

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Whore+Diamonds

druranium September 12, 2008 at 1:56 am

[re=93966]hockeymom[/re]: The minute I saw the flower toss today, I knew there would be some assclowns attempting to whip it into “9/11 flower-toss-gate”.
[re=93973]DC Spring[/re]: At least they’re not disemvowelling zesty comments like boingboing
[re=93975]shortspantsshorts[/re]: Congratulations on your unbanning. You are an asset. By the way, do your shorts have a urine stain on them or is that a thong over the top of them?

AnnieGetYourFun September 12, 2008 at 1:58 am

[re=93978]facehead[/re]: Oh! I’ll join you. Well, all I have is leftover pizza and a bottle of shiraz. Will that work?

hatlesshead September 12, 2008 at 2:00 am

Saw this comment on, screw, can’t remember now but:

“I’m hearing reports of massive caging efforts in Wisconsin and Florida. Registered Democrats are receiving absentee ballots from the McCain campaign and are told to send them to the return address enclosed.”

How could they tell it. Did the return address have “Walnuts!” on it? Probably being sent to she-males ’cause they figure they’re all dumb and shit like Say-Rah.

I can hardly wait till the inauguration of Walnuts! with his beaming snow princess by his side. She is “one of us” which makes us all special. What a hemmaroid (sp?), I mean Polaroid, moment.

Wonder what the security will be like for this one. I had to go through three checkpoints, have buttsecks with two cops and give a police horse a bj. And that was just in Virginia.

tunamelt September 12, 2008 at 2:01 am

why arent you all trunk?

DC Spring September 12, 2008 at 2:02 am

[re=93980]shortspantsshorts[/re]: I have no freakin idea who you are, but I’d like you on ol idennity back here. Not pants. Shorts x 3. And yr wicked mind.

Actually primarily yr wicked mind.

hatlesshead September 12, 2008 at 2:03 am

[re=93985]Jim Newell[/re]: Oh goodie, what an honor!

facehead September 12, 2008 at 2:04 am

[re=93990]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Word. I hope you like it extra fudgey.

ThePuckStopsHere September 12, 2008 at 2:06 am

[re=93987]facehead[/re]: God, I’m embarassed. How could I have missed out on that tasty nugget of Elliot Spitzer sport-making of. Still no luck on the Truck Nutz, though:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Truck+Nutz

Truck Nutz isn’t defined yet

Dernyul September 12, 2008 at 2:07 am

[re=93992]tunamelt[/re]: I’m all track & trig.

Neilist September 12, 2008 at 2:09 am

[re=93993]DC Spring[/re]: Shortsshortsshorts actually is the Ghost of Benazir Bhutto.

I thought you all knew.

Rest, perturbed Spirit!

facehead September 12, 2008 at 2:16 am

[re=93997]ThePuckStopsHere[/re]: http://www.trucknutz.com/

There’s also something called “bikerballz” but I don’t think our relationship can handle it.

ThePuckStopsHere September 12, 2008 at 2:26 am

[re=94002]facehead[/re]: OMFG. Thanks for the “heads up”. Ya gotta spring for the extra $25 to get the chrome version, don’t ‘ya? Otherwise you’d just look cheap.

Neilist September 12, 2008 at 2:32 am

Did someone mention “The Green Berets”?

[With apologies to Barry Sadler]

Fighting Meth-heads from the sky,
These are hicks, who go to die,
Can’t get a job, ’cause they’re too dumb,
An Army Of Sarah Palin’s Sons.

Trained like seals, on frozen floes
Facing Russia, Sarah’s foe
Banging guns, and Bristol’s bum
Call them Sarah Palin’s Sons.

There’s Trig and Trak — Or Frick and Frack?
Either way, they’re in Iraq
Their Hockey Mom has pucked them up.
Haiji’s long Sarah’s Sons.

Put them both, in body bags.
Over each, the Grand Old Flag
Georgia’s their next row to hoe,
So Sarah’s Sons have got to go.

Some may think this song is cruel.
They’re all Commies – Hate FREEDOM too.
I’m prepared to sacrifice
Sarah’s Sons to fuel my rideeeeeeee!

[Thank you! Thank you!]

InsidiousTuna September 12, 2008 at 2:34 am

[re=94003]ThePuckStopsHere[/re]: Yes, but the camoflauge ones display your pride in America, so those are good, too.

DC Spring September 12, 2008 at 2:38 am

[re=94000]Neilist[/re]: OMG, it all makes surreal sense now.

So that means Lehman’s is selling to an Aishun. wow, get Dodd on that.

All cool Newell, until you invite the next storm thru dumb commentery..

Smoke Filled Roommate September 12, 2008 at 2:40 am

The hooackey maum is totally fucking retarded. I cannot wait for Joey B. to rip her to shreds on foreign policy..

Neilist September 12, 2008 at 2:41 am

/Snark off

It’s only 23:37 on the West Coast, so I still have time to get this in.

God keep all the NYFD, NYPD, NYTA and other responders who went into those towers to save others, and paid the price.

Such people never truly die, if even one of us remembers.

Even if their memories are stolen by self-serving demagogues who, in any just world, would be put up against a wall and shot.

/Snark on

InsidiousTuna September 12, 2008 at 2:46 am

[re=94011]Neilist[/re]: Yep. God bless ‘em.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 12, 2008 at 2:49 am

[re=94011]Neilist[/re]: How many magnets do you have on your car?

DC Spring September 12, 2008 at 3:05 am

Hey, nice to see TX woke up! Platinum.

But it’s late here after a loooog period discussing rights and wrongs with Wonkette Exec Branch. More later, maybe…

West coastererers, just don ask to do sheet, ok? We’ve got this banking thing goin on up north.

DC Spring September 12, 2008 at 3:15 am

Game on, shortss.

Guess you good.

shortsshort?shorts September 12, 2008 at 3:21 am

[re=94017]DC Spring[/re]: With this I.P address, which I did not use to accost sarah PAAlin (who is a very nice woman and should be the next gobernator of Sexlaska, I will not deegrade a degree from the University of Ihoe-a.

Harmless September 12, 2008 at 3:55 am

No one will ever see this, sure, and I’m drunk, thats a given, but I realized tonight, Sarah Palin has ruined the sexy librarian look for me. Two weeks ago, a girl in glasses and an up do would have been so hot. Now it makes me nauseous. Thanks, Sarah, for making me gay.

The Hispanic Buddy Holly September 12, 2008 at 3:56 am

[re=93968]Jim Newell[/re]: The “fuck whales in outer space” line is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on this great intrnetz!

YellowSnow September 12, 2008 at 5:20 am

Can we please start a full-on CatFight discussion please?

njdon September 12, 2008 at 7:13 am

” .. with Sarah Palin across the Bering Strait. She will get us lost …. ”

sexist? y’know, a prego and later nursing, sacajawea, led the probably drunk lewis and clark expedition across the continent and back. iditarod-mom might do as well. btw, i got a few bucks that says she has had an abortion. my grandmother had 10 children before she died probably from too much lovin’.

2druk2phluq September 12, 2008 at 7:43 am

See, this is why “you people” (Wonkettes) make the big bucks. You’re willing to liveblog this. I’m not even willing to read the liveblog. I don’t even want to think about the liveblog. In fact, I am thinking about sugar canes and humming softly so that the evil spirits can’t get into me through this monitor.

Truly this liveblog showed courage.
I wish I were so strong…

njdon September 12, 2008 at 7:49 am

[re=93968]Jim Newell[/re]:

on being banned:
i was banned from huffpo because i said world series tickets will be sucked up by corporate guys and by the second inning they’ll be blind drunk. the wash post a few days ago had an article on drunks during pre football game activities. arianna may not be what she claims.
o.k., i’m guilty.
just sayin’.

shoeho September 12, 2008 at 8:01 am

[re=93776]Beans[/re]: If it was Michelle dragging a four month old special needs kid on the trail, she’d be a “horrible, thoughtless, power hungry b*tch.” Sarah is a saint. Got to love your repug values…also see O’Reilly, Bill, on pregnant Spears spawn, Palin spawn.

Must go have Bloody Mary, extra strong to face another day. Maybe brandy in the coffee too.

KittyKatMan September 12, 2008 at 8:51 am

KKM Exclusive! Unedited version of Palin interview, such as:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NGXlsqPL2A

Walter Sobchak September 12, 2008 at 9:00 am

Dudes, I’m really sorry I caused all that. I’ve been around since the Washingtonienne days, and have always found both the editors and commenters equally entertaining, this site is my go-to when the rest of the political bullshit gets me down, and I can always count on a good Paultard or assfucking joke to lift my spirits after 60 crazy Pentecostals hang up on me in a row while phone banking. Jim, you fucking rule, and if Shorts said something over the line, then hey, it’s your world. But I can tell you in general that he’s one of the commenters that I seek out, and thus probably drives some small amount of traffic your way. I’ve not really had time to even lurk lately, but I hope once things die down in November, we can all come together and have one big drunken cuddle party, and bask in the wonder that is TEH BARRY. Until he gets caught fucking an intern or whatever, and then it’s game on.
Peace

TGY September 12, 2008 at 9:06 am

[re=93724]Dernyul[/re]: May I recommend the virtues of the Foreign Legion! La Marseillais is very catchy, and who can forget it being sung in Casablanca?:

Allons enfants de la Patrie,
Le jour de gloire est arrivé!
Contre nous de la tyrannie,
L’étendard sanglant est levé.

Also, you eventually get to be French and appreciate mimes. Oh, wait, I forgot. The FL kills people. Well, maybe they have a bingo auxiliary or something.

YellowScientist September 12, 2008 at 9:24 am

[re=93724]Dernyul[/re]: Huh, if McCain wins, we’re all doomed.

Sara K. Smith September 12, 2008 at 9:32 am

Oh hai peoples! Your editor lost her goddamn password, so she re-registered. [re=93973]DC Spring[/re]: Oh get fucked, whiner. [re=93923]shortspantsshorts[/re]: You were banned because you wrote this: “I hate to sound distasteful, but I wish to fuck Palin in the ass and cum all over her mangina while dick slapping it. Sorry.” …which came at the end of a long week of foulness from many other commenters who have been likewise banned, FOR BEING GROSS. Here is a test for all you losers who feel you need “guidelines” to figure out what is in the bounds of human decency: If you would not say it in a bar in front of somebody you respect, do not say it. Also consider that there are many people who are NOT regular readers of this site, who come to it cold, and might be tempted to join in the discussion except that they are completely turned off by the childish misogyny here. I am not saying don’t be witty, I am saying don’t be the opposite of witty, which is what you were, “shortspantsshorts,” and I do not read Facebook so I don’t know what you were bitching about, but I am so so close to banning you again, for being lame.

Neilist September 12, 2008 at 12:21 pm

[re=94013]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: “How many magnets do you have on your car?”

Including those that attach the limpet mines, and the giant electro one that I use to push the vehicle up to speeds Al Gore’s son got out of that Prius?

And I assume you don’t want me to count my tin foil hat. Aluminum is non-ferrous, and normally does not hold/carry a magnetic field.

[re=94018]shortsshort?shorts[/re]: Welcome back, old trout. Although the new name technically makes you even more questionable.

AnnieGetYourFun September 12, 2008 at 1:07 pm

[re=94054]Sara K. Smith[/re]: ZOMG, they banned you, too? There is no justice in this world.

shortsshortsshorts September 12, 2008 at 1:23 pm

[re=94054]Sara K. Smith[/re]: That’s not change we can believe it.

shortsshortsshorts September 12, 2008 at 1:27 pm

[re=94054]Sara K. Smith[/re]: And yes. It was over the line, and I definitely admit that it was not only misogynist, but flat-out inappropriate. However I contend that a lot of other things fly here without the need for guidelines or explanations.
I formally apologize to you and reinstate my absolute loyalty to this site. Thank you for not perma-perma-banning me.

CivicHoliday September 12, 2008 at 3:29 pm

whoa whoa WHOA. What is going on here? The banned have returned from the dead to torment their banners, the banners have lost their passwords and been reborn phoenix like into new avatars, and everyone is bitching at everyone else rather than making fun of Walnuts and properly explaining that there are, in fact, steel testicles you can buy to hang on the back of your pickup truck to let people know how manly you are? What is the world coming to.

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