• February 14, 2012

Brother can you spare a dime?Happy Monday, America! Wall Street is doing great, so far, this morning. The Dow Jones index is down 400 500 points at the moment, bringing the DJIA below 10,000 for the first time since … well, let’s check the chart. October 22, 2004 — right about the time everybody figured George W. Bush would somehow win re-election and the world would end.

The S&P 500 is down more than 4% this morning, the NASDAQ is in -5% territory, and we are just going to have Firefox block all of our 401k websites as “death porn.”

Europe is “rescuing” more doomed banks over there, and the Paultards are smiling as gold rises another forty bucks.

We are going to find a bar and just stay there until China bombs us out of our misery.

Stocks, Oil Slide on Credit Crisis; Emerging Markets Drop Most in 20 Years [Bloomberg]

{ 78 comments }

Worlds End October 6, 2008 at 10:36 am

Tent cities for some, miniature American flags for
others.

facehead October 6, 2008 at 10:37 am

Good morning to you too.

PoliticalGraffiti October 6, 2008 at 10:38 am

the Tune Inn, 9:30 am?

capitol hillbilly October 6, 2008 at 10:38 am

as long as the Paultards are smiling.

ManchuCandidate October 6, 2008 at 10:39 am

Fuck you all. I’m calling dibs on the nearest heating grate.

Worlds End October 6, 2008 at 10:40 am

almost down 500

demtard October 6, 2008 at 10:41 am

Hey: I’m still giving free mustache rides…

Worlds End October 6, 2008 at 10:41 am

[re=122007]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Fuck you that heating grate is mine.

V572625694 October 6, 2008 at 10:42 am

There’s no need to panic; this is simply a market correction. You know that 401(k) money had, and the house you “owned?” Turns out they were a mistake. But that’s been corrected! Doesn’t it feel great?

Worlds End October 6, 2008 at 10:43 am

now it down -539.85

Worlds End October 6, 2008 at 10:44 am

-585.73!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah were all pretty much fucked

askforgiveness October 6, 2008 at 10:45 am

so is sara k. smith dead? what happened to her?

Gopherit v2.0 October 6, 2008 at 10:47 am

[re=122009]demtard[/re]: There you go. As long as mustahe rides are free, how bad could it be?

I never really wanted to retire anyway. I can’t wait to see the email from my pension plan managers.

facehead October 6, 2008 at 10:48 am

BREAKING NEWS (REUTERS): GOVERNMENT FABRICATING NEW REBATE PACKAGE FOR ALL AMERICANS TO AVOID DEPRESSION. PACKAGE TO INCLUDE: YEARS SUPPLY OF FRUIT-ROLL UPS AND HELLO KITTY STICKERS, DEVELOPING…

TGY October 6, 2008 at 10:48 am

Gold may be up, but the gold standard is not the solution and the Paultards are still crazy. Conversion to the Gold Standard would be economic nuclear winter compared to this, which is only a nuclear snow flurry.

holocron October 6, 2008 at 10:48 am

Wheeee…….!!!

Chicken Smack October 6, 2008 at 10:49 am
Q2 October 6, 2008 at 10:50 am

Damn…we could have had Social Security privatized by now and Bush could have destroyed it too…’ol Fuckup George can’t even fuck things up properly.

Gopherit v2.0 October 6, 2008 at 10:50 am

So, if our last recession was due to a tech bubble, is this one due to an asshole bubble?

cal October 6, 2008 at 10:50 am

The power of Big Soup grows…

MrAgro October 6, 2008 at 10:51 am

I’ve got some humdinger shoe soup recipes if anyone’s interested.

magic titty October 6, 2008 at 10:51 am

Good good. When it hits 1787, we can start this fucking place over.

her.majesty October 6, 2008 at 10:52 am

that’s asshole*S* bubble. if you want to have some fun or need a cure for your chronic constipation, go to http://finance.yahoo.com/indices?e=dow_jones and watch the train wreck in action.

WadISay October 6, 2008 at 10:52 am

This is what happens when you try to buy a bargain recovery plan for a shitty $700B.

AngryBlakGuy October 6, 2008 at 10:53 am

…it would have been more effective to pile 700 billion dollars in the middle of Washington and burned it for warmth.

ChernobylSoup October 6, 2008 at 10:53 am

[re=122007]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I was working on my hobby farm this week and a women, about six-months pregnant, stopped by in a 70s model pickup truck and asked if I had any scrap metal. I gave her everything I could find. She gets $3 per 100lbs of metal.

It really is like the Great Depression II.

Harvey Birdman October 6, 2008 at 10:55 am

Think of all the Super Sweet 16 parties that will never be.

Delicious October 6, 2008 at 10:55 am

All the other world markets dropped about 4 or 5 percent, so I think that’s where the Dow will hover around -500.

Give or take another 5 percent! haha. bleh. die.

Naked Bunny with a Whip October 6, 2008 at 10:56 am

Wait…you *block* death porn? WTF?

mattbolt October 6, 2008 at 10:57 am

As usual, Canada’s in a fucking freefall, Toronto market’s down over 1,000 already just over an hour into trading and this shit ain’t gettin’ prettier. Someone go out and buy a Celine Dion record before we’re all filthy hobos

Gopherit v2.0 October 6, 2008 at 10:58 am

[re=122034]ChernobylSoup[/re]: As long as you have a “hobby farm” and not a “means of survival” I think the depression is still waiting in the wings.

demtard October 6, 2008 at 10:58 am

[re=122037]Delicious[/re]: That sounds like the beginning of a feedback loop…

ManchuCandidate October 6, 2008 at 10:59 am

I can see clearly now, my pension’s gone,
They removed all regulations in their way
Gone is the money that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Black Monday.

I think I can make it now, the Dow is down
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the baseball bat I’ve been waiting for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Black Monday.

Look all around, there’s nothin but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin but blue skies

I can see clearly now, Wall St’s done,
I can pick up pitch forks along the way
Gonna smack douchesacks that robbed me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Black Monday.

MoonshineJoe October 6, 2008 at 11:00 am

[re=122023]Chicken Smack[/re]: We are well and truly fucked if our soupy overlords are also in trouble.

ManchuCandidate October 6, 2008 at 11:00 am

[re=122039]mattbolt[/re]:
I seem to recall some fat doughy guy with manboobs telling me that Canada’s fundamentals are STRONG.

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 6, 2008 at 11:00 am

Timing for this really sucks. I can handle warm weather hobo life much better than cold weather, burn your coat for warmth hobo life. Can we reschedule?

AngryBlakGuy October 6, 2008 at 11:02 am

…can we break out the pitch forks and torches now or do we have to wait until it hits 8000?

ManchuCandidate October 6, 2008 at 11:04 am

[re=122052]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
I have an aluminum baseball bat and I’m raring to swing.

turboslut October 6, 2008 at 11:04 am

Oh please, the European markets are all down 8%-9%. We’re not gonna let a bunch of prissy Continental types show us how to crash a market, right? GO AMERICA #1! USA USA USA!

Worlds End October 6, 2008 at 11:06 am

Who wants to start a hobo tent city?

slomojoe October 6, 2008 at 11:07 am

Another two weeks of this, and the country will be ready to elect Bernie Sanders President by acclamation.

Chicken Smack October 6, 2008 at 11:08 am

[re=122039]mattbolt[/re]: Your only good export is Rush. Do not pawn that warbling bitch on me again, or I will sic the Quebecois on you.

Gopherit v2.0 October 6, 2008 at 11:09 am

[re=122058]Worlds End[/re]: No, that’s how all of this shit started in the first place. I’m pitching my tent where none of these bastards can find me.

capitol hillbilly October 6, 2008 at 11:10 am

drill BABY drill !!!!

ChernobylSoup October 6, 2008 at 11:12 am

[re=122041]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Point taken. I’m a lucky one. (Until I have to slaughter my horses for horse-burgers to feed my family.)

Hamster October 6, 2008 at 11:13 am

The hotdog guy in front of home depot knows my name now, I am so screwed. …mmm, I think I’ll spring for the “All Beef Kosher Dog” today.

mattbolt October 6, 2008 at 11:14 am

[re=122064]Chicken Smack[/re]: It was a sad day for Canada when oil, lumber and minerals were all downgraded as export commodities, and replaced by 20-minute synthesizer solos that are like, so crazy they like, blow my mind, dude

ManchuCandidate October 6, 2008 at 11:15 am

[re=122064]Chicken Smack[/re]:
And all that oil we sell you guys.

As a citizen of Canada City, I am ashamed of the devastation that Hurricane Celine has wrought.

BUT, I’m glad they’re there and not here.

AngryBlakGuy October 6, 2008 at 11:18 am

[re=122054]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …ehhh, I guess that will work. Personally my favorite tool for looting and pillaging is a 2×4 with a nail in it. What can I say, I’m a traditionalist.

NoStyleHere October 6, 2008 at 11:20 am

I am re-reading the Grapes of Wrath for breast milk recipe tips.

OzoneTom October 6, 2008 at 11:22 am

[re=122054]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
I hope that it’s not a red one (see the Travolta classic “Be Cool”).

Anyway, I don’t have a bat, so will have to settle for booting them in the neuticles.

S.Luggo October 6, 2008 at 11:22 am

[re=122031]her.majesty[/re]: The collapse is due to excess speculation in the market for cute asian orphans. Damn SEC chairman Cocks. He could have prevented this by regulating adoption default swaps.

Chicken Smack October 6, 2008 at 11:23 am

[re=122075]mattbolt[/re]: & [re=122077]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I should have prefaced by saying musical export. That was, frankly, a misunderstanding in my head, and it didn’t fix itself. We loves your oil and wood pulp.

grendel October 6, 2008 at 11:26 am

[re=122039]mattbolt[/re]: God hates Canada

S.Luggo October 6, 2008 at 11:32 am

[re=122023]Chicken Smack[/re]: But not by much.
Anyway, whatever fall in pps there is due to roll out expenses associated with the company’s new line of canned goods. http://worldofwonder.net/image1/bbgruel-1.jpg
— Louis Rukeyeser

RubberSoul October 6, 2008 at 11:36 am

Who cares about the global economy? I want to know who’s pallin’ around with terrorists.

JamesMichaelCurley October 6, 2008 at 11:37 am

I’m gonna go trick or treating this year dressed as a Credit Default Swap. Either someone will put me out of my financial missery or Paulson will buy me.

AngryBlakGuy October 6, 2008 at 11:40 am

[re=122104]grendel[/re]: …not everything coming out of Canada is all that bad.

-Bacon
-Syrup
-Pam Anderson

hockeymom October 6, 2008 at 11:42 am

Has the falling stock market taken Newel and K. Smith down, too?
Why don’t I see their bylines?
Did Ken sell them for stock in canned goods?

Terry October 6, 2008 at 11:42 am

China doesn’t NEED to bomb us. We’re doing ourselves in fairly effectively.

Miller October 6, 2008 at 11:45 am

Finally I get to start garroting and shanking drifters for bread. I thought this day was never going to get here.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

Chicken Smack October 6, 2008 at 11:47 am

[re=122128]Terry[/re]: Didn’t the Republican Party crow about this very same issue happening back in 1990, when the Russians also failed to out-spend us, and their economy collapsed as a result of it?

there’s some goddamn irony for you. served up and delivered, but there’s a 15% surcharge now, 18 years later.

azw88 October 6, 2008 at 11:48 am

[re=122011]Worlds End[/re]: Well, then I’m fucked because we don’t have heating grates here in the Old Pueblo…..

Fear of a Black Reagan October 6, 2008 at 11:49 am

[re=122020]TGY[/re]: You people have no understanding of the Austrian theory of the business cycle…

Gold standard IN, Zionists OUT!

Platypus October 6, 2008 at 11:49 am

When our new Chinese overlords arrive, we’ll make great pets. And by pets I mean test animals for a host of useless and dangerous Chinese consumer goods. Happy days are here again!

rev_matt_y October 6, 2008 at 11:50 am

I read that as “Dow drops 10,000″ and thought “Wow, this is going to be fun!”

azw88 October 6, 2008 at 11:53 am

[re=122128]Terry[/re]: Actually, this is our way of bringing China to its knees!!!! A brilliant move, if you ask me!

We f-up our economy, thus sending the economies of the rest of the industrialized world. When things hit rock bottom, China will have no one to sell their cheap crap to, thus weakening their economy!! With the whole world’s economy is completely ant totally screwed up, the playing field will be completely level! This is something that folks have wanted for years. Yeah, a few people get hurt along the way, but what the fuck!

sike101 October 6, 2008 at 12:04 pm

On the upside, my bindle futures are looking strong.

Lee Atwater October 6, 2008 at 12:21 pm

[re=122188]sike101[/re]: And I bet a lot of us are better at scavenging/foraging/random acts of domestic resistance against the robot oppressors than we are at our day jobs.

pondscum October 6, 2008 at 12:23 pm

[re=122036]Harvey Birdman[/re]: So, you’re saying there is an upside…

Terry October 6, 2008 at 12:24 pm

So, what brought us out of the Great Depression finally? World War II?

Fear of a Black Reagan October 6, 2008 at 12:29 pm

[re=122228]Terry[/re]: Selling raw materials to both sides – at a substantial markup – in the years leading up to WWII brought us out of the depression.

Getting into the war ourselves led to a short inflationary boom from defense spending and then sent the economy down into the toilet under Truman, who made things worse with back-assward economic policy (little-known fact: Truman was a horrible president)

Mista Eko October 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm

Well what did you expect with $700 billion?

llyn October 6, 2008 at 1:01 pm

[re=122026]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Yes.

llyn October 6, 2008 at 1:05 pm

[re=122063]slomojoe[/re]: Would that it were true!

Outstando October 6, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Thank God I was able to reserve http://www.imadeitoutofdirt.com.

flaviusjosephus October 6, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Looks like the stock market is in the tank for Obama! (get it? TANK!!)

Outstando October 6, 2008 at 1:39 pm

I just saw Hannibal Rising over the weekend, and let me just say I’m glad I don’t live with my sister.

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