• February 14, 2012

The scene: John McCain, Sarah Palin, a NASCAR venue, in the capital of the Confederacy, tens of thousands of hardcore Republicans, a performance by country hobo Hank Williams Jr. If your skin had higher melanin levels than, say, Bob Barr’s, THIS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A SAFE DAY TRIP. Otherwise, it seemed to be a pleasant affair today in Richmond. Williams sung a delightful song for Sarah Palin about how she is a woman. The lyrics included, “How can you be so smart and be such a good lookin’ dish?” ABC News adds, “The song compares Palin to a ‘momma bear in Idaho’ protecting her cubs, ready to protect America.” The senior senator from Idaho, in contrast, does not favor bears in Idaho protecting themselves. [ABC News]

{ 103 comments }

Truculent October 13, 2008 at 4:47 pm

Dammnit. How am I going to get that projectile vomit off the cube walls?

grendel October 13, 2008 at 4:47 pm

How is snark expected to keep up with reality with this pair?

phillyhope October 13, 2008 at 4:49 pm

bruce springsteen says FAIL

the sad thing is his dad was pretty awesome

druranium October 13, 2008 at 4:49 pm

Williams did not appear to say the word “terrorist” at the Richmond event.
What a let down for the crowd!

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 13, 2008 at 4:50 pm

That pic is almost as disturbing as the tattooed lipstick image. Almost.

Q2 October 13, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Hank Sr. is turning in his grave.

Botswana Meat Commission FC October 13, 2008 at 4:50 pm

That needs to be my halloween costume…

LittlePig October 13, 2008 at 4:51 pm

Bocephus At Palindrome.

SayItWithWookies October 13, 2008 at 4:51 pm

No, I am not ready for some football.

Gopherit v2.0 October 13, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Why couldn’t he have upheld the family tradition and killed himself with alcohol? This post-alcohol and drug state has left him so addled Dubya could outwit him.

Sussemilch October 13, 2008 at 4:52 pm

ARE YOU READY (for sarah palin to carry the nuclear) FOOTBALL!

Dientes October 13, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Talk about Bears. Way to go with the beard Hank Jr.

Serolf Divad October 13, 2008 at 4:52 pm

True story:

In high school our baseball coach made us all go to a Hank Williams Jr. concert. I remember one of my teammates joking about how our African American players would be the only black people there. And coach James replied: “Don’t be too sure. I wouldn’t be surprised to find some Hank Williams Jr. loving African Americans in the audience.”

As it turned out –surprise, surprise– our teammates were, in fact, the only black people in the audience.

Too Lazy To Sign In October 13, 2008 at 4:52 pm

I…just don’t… I just don’t even know anymore.

Can I haz a three week nap now? Wake me up on the 4th.

Gopherit v2.0 October 13, 2008 at 4:53 pm

Although we should remember the old saying; as goes Hank Williams Jr, so goes every mouth-breathing tard south of the mason Dixson.

Tra October 13, 2008 at 4:53 pm

In keeping with recent trends, Hank Williams, Jr., later endorsed Obama, as did the Idaho bear in a widely publicized NYTimes op-ed, and its cubs, on their MySpace pages.

CrunchyKnee October 13, 2008 at 4:53 pm

No wonder Hank III smokes more weed than Bill Maher and Jenna Bush combined.

Voyou Charmant October 13, 2008 at 4:55 pm

“The senior senator from Idaho, in contrast, does not favor bears in Idaho protecting themselves.”

I see what you did there.

Botswana Meat Commission FC October 13, 2008 at 4:56 pm

[re=132224]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
But ARE YOU READY FOR SOME 1960s-technology “stock” cars turning left until they all crash into each other?

Gopherit v2.0 October 13, 2008 at 4:56 pm

[re=132231]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Or Dixon. It’s the banhammer for you.

ManchuCandidate October 13, 2008 at 4:57 pm

Hank Jr only defended the US American dumbass because he sympathizes with all other offspring who are considerably less talented then their parents.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 13, 2008 at 4:57 pm

[re=132223]LittlePig[/re]: WIN.

Q2 October 13, 2008 at 4:57 pm

Hank Jr. (1) You are an ugly MoFo. (2) Your stupid song tarnishes every football game before it is played. (3) YOU SUQ!

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 13, 2008 at 4:57 pm

“The left wing liberal media … most American people don’t believe ‘em anyway you see,” Williams intoned.

We have our own song! Awww. It’s sweet that they noticed us.

nietzscheprojectile October 13, 2008 at 4:57 pm

Why does he look like a bearded David Gest?

Keram2 October 13, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Genius skips a generation. Hank III for president.

Q2 October 13, 2008 at 5:00 pm

[re=132245]Q2[/re] your snarking on this post is subpar, infantile, and of poor quality. Your desperation is all too evident.

Scarab October 13, 2008 at 5:00 pm

Hey, he’s got exactly the same pose and background as I did in my high school senior photo. (Go Bears!)

lazyb October 13, 2008 at 5:01 pm

Repulsive in so many ways.

Special Agent Jack Mehoff October 13, 2008 at 5:01 pm

[re=132220]Q2[/re]: I enjoy some of his music, but I suspect if hes rolling in his grave it’s got more to do with hopey than the republican ticket. Those were after all, different times.

Viva la Cynthia October 13, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Dear Wonkette: If you are going to keep posting your treatment of vomit-inducing real-life events, please provide a warning for the weak-stomached so that they might not accidentally read the actual quotes from that event. My officemates are not happy about the stench around here right now. It’s total disgusting-eating-contest-story-from-”Stand By Me” time in Upstate New York–and I’m pretty sure there might be some kind of health violation situation you’re now legally responsible for causing.

StripesAndPlaids October 13, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Wait. Hank Williams Jr. is still alive?

Hamster October 13, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Well, he’s right, relatively speaking. She is, by their hickish rube standards, smart and attractive. …and W deserves a 3rd term.

Rodney Badger October 13, 2008 at 5:05 pm

I don’t believe that he actually sees Palin that way. It’s just bait so you elitist will make fun of hard-working folk and, therefore, hand McCain the election. Good job, fuckers. And thanks for 8 more years of Bush-McCain economics. If you had only supported Hillary, Hank Williams, Jr. could have never written a song like that and single-handily win the election for McCain. Also, Republicans will now regain the majority in the House and Senate. Thanks a lot, jerks.

SayItWithWookies October 13, 2008 at 5:06 pm

[re=132238]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: Hell if I want to see three hours of idiots speeding I’ll stand on the nearest I-95 overpass. Better yet, VDOT’s got webcams.

johnbpt October 13, 2008 at 5:06 pm

How can that sorry sack of shit be the son of Hank Sr. and the father of Hank III (a total kick-ass!)? That old saw about talent skipping a generation, I guess.

stew October 13, 2008 at 5:07 pm

Still hope this relic will drink himself to death like his day-dee.

windupbird October 13, 2008 at 5:07 pm

Hank I & III are/were brilliant. Hank II’s music = crap

gjdodger October 13, 2008 at 5:08 pm

Gen-nyoo-wine Hank Jr. song:
http://www.cowboylyrics.com/tabs/williams-hank-jr/if-the-south-woulda-won-407.html

“If the South woulda won, we woulda had it made.” Yeah, I’ll bet, Bo-racist.

Hamster October 13, 2008 at 5:08 pm

[re=132270]Rodney Badger[/re]: …Ken, this guy gets my DIAF vote.

bitchincamaro October 13, 2008 at 5:08 pm

Nice hat, ass.

DieOnTheTurnpike October 13, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Hank Williams was queer.

Texan Bulldoggette October 13, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Sorry, why does anyone care about this guy who’s only accomplishment is getting a bunch of drunk people to shout “get laid, get f__ed” during one of his shitty songs? You’d think Bible Spice’s knickers would be in a huge wad about his pro-sex/pro-drinking mantra.

tiger October 13, 2008 at 5:10 pm

He’s looks like the dood that used to take ID’s at the door in my old smalltown gay bar…

nurple October 13, 2008 at 5:10 pm

Nietzche – you are right – it’s like when I was a kid, and would make suet-balls for the birds, and dropped one on the floor.

Keram2 October 13, 2008 at 5:11 pm

To quote Hank III, “The kind of country I’m hearing nowadays, it’s a buncha fucking shit to me.”

These words get truer every day. Country is dead.

Worlds End October 13, 2008 at 5:11 pm

That guy seriously looks like a meth addicted pedophile.

Rodney Badger October 13, 2008 at 5:13 pm

[re=132279]Hamster[/re]: You’re hurting feelings now. . .

Neon Trotsky October 13, 2008 at 5:14 pm

Looks like Dov Charney if he were to wake up one day as a wingnut and declare, “It’s time we put the AMERICAN back in American Apparel!”

2druk2phluq October 13, 2008 at 5:17 pm

What do we do if she gets into the White House?

Go into a state of denial?
[What do you mean Vice President Palin, son? Everyone knows Al Gore is our VP. He'll be President when the election comes. Everything's going to be fine.]

Overdose?
[Get your hands off my China White. I only have enough to kill one person. Go get your own. I said don't touch that!]

Move to Asia?
[I love you long time. I have good American love. Love you long time, Chinese GI. You so strong. I so lucky to be here in China. Five dollar sucky sucky]

Mount a frontal assault on the White House until bodies are piled high enough to walk through a second story window?
["They're bound to run out of bullets soon. They can't kill all of us.""I think you may be underestimating their stockpile of ammunition.]

Long live the new flesh.

Gopherit v2.0 October 13, 2008 at 5:17 pm

[re=132283]tiger[/re]: small town gay bar = road house, right?

Texan Bulldoggette October 13, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Looks like more people went to see Hank:

“The afternoon’s loudest ovation came when country music star Hank Williams Jr. offered a rendition of his hit “Family Tradition” that opened by assailing “the left-wing liberal media.”"

http://license.icopyright.net/user/viewFreeUse.act?fuid=MTY4NDM0Mg%3D%3D

Also brainiac Bible Spice got supporters confused with hecklers. Math is hard.

Hamster October 13, 2008 at 5:19 pm

[re=132289]Rodney Badger[/re]: Ken, I retract my vote, or at least the DIAF part, it was totally elitist. I blame my Mac.

primarywatcher October 13, 2008 at 5:20 pm

XTM Ho’ Down: Hank III vs stale cheeseball turd Jr.

obfuscator October 13, 2008 at 5:22 pm

I am very much against his choice in sweaters.

druranium October 13, 2008 at 5:22 pm

McCain is on CNN right now saying how proud he is of the obama monkey man and the other people who come to his rallies and yell terrorist, get him, kill him, nobama!
He says it gets him fired up.

Worlds End October 13, 2008 at 5:23 pm
StripesAndPlaids October 13, 2008 at 5:24 pm

I think Hank should have sung his classic “Be careful the stones that you throw” to John and Sarah:

“A tongue can accuse and carry bad news the seeds of distrust it will sow
But unless you’ve made no mistakes in your life be careful of stones that you throw….”

DISCLAIMER: I have never heard this song. It was the first one I saw when I searched for HWJR lyrics. Still, kind of ironic.

ToArchStantonsLeft October 13, 2008 at 5:26 pm

In all fairness the beard is there to cover some horrible scarring. Can’t quite remeber the cause. Could be pipe error, or maybe one of those Pespsi commercials.

Maus October 13, 2008 at 5:27 pm

[re=132270]Rodney Badger[/re]: I love watching the nervous breakdowns, hr violations leading to firings and alcoholism running rampant all over Hillaryis44 too.

jasonelias October 13, 2008 at 5:28 pm

“Good lookin’ dish?” Where was he calling from, 1932?

Lascauxcaveman October 13, 2008 at 5:29 pm

All my rowdy friends are racist wingnuts tonight.

TeddyS October 13, 2008 at 5:30 pm

Hank is in the drunk tank for Sarahdippitydoodah.

StripesAndPlaids October 13, 2008 at 5:31 pm

[re=132304]Worlds End[/re]: That was hysterical. Not surprising, but hysterical.

TGY October 13, 2008 at 5:31 pm

Oh God, this was to the tune of “Family Tradition”. One of the all-time favorites of drunken bar bands, usually with audience participation or participation of those who can still speak. How appropriate.

Idiocy loves company.

Gopherit v2.0 October 13, 2008 at 5:31 pm

[re=132306]ToArchStantonsLeft[/re]: Nope…..he fell off a mountain. Really.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hank_Williams_Jr.#Injury_and_recovery

Like any good southern boy, though, he wasn’t going to let a compound fracture of the scull affect his day to day life.

StripesAndPlaids October 13, 2008 at 5:32 pm

[re=132306]ToArchStantonsLeft[/re]: That is why I have to be so careful when I am smoking meth. I can’t grow a beard.

Miller October 13, 2008 at 5:33 pm

What about the lines implying Obama is a jive talking crow, mocking a big eared elephant…who is a war hero.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

Gopherit v2.0 October 13, 2008 at 5:33 pm

[re=132317]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Skull, you numbnuts! You know, like the thing you ought to get scanned soon?

obfuscator October 13, 2008 at 5:33 pm

[re=132306]ToArchStantonsLeft[/re]: I think he got drunk and fell off a cliff. Seriously. Either that, or he tried to rape a wild boar and it fought back.

S.Luggo October 13, 2008 at 5:34 pm

Hank dedicated his latest song to North Slope Babette, “I nailed her in the back of my meth lab, then rolled her over and nailed her again. Yeehahhhh!”

I’m looking forward to that being included in Hank’s next CD: “A Gershin Songbook And Other Tunes.”

OpusOne October 13, 2008 at 5:34 pm

We at the Organization for Football Preparedness hereby revoke Mr. Williams Jr.’s membership.

superfecta October 13, 2008 at 5:40 pm

Is it good that Hank Sr. died before discovering that his son was really Andy Kaufman?

S.Luggo October 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm

[re=132223]LittlePig[/re]: At first I thought this was tropical disease. But you forced me to google it, damn you, you porcine satan. http://www.metrolyrics.com/my-name-is-bocephus-lyrics-hank-williams-jr.html

FunkyPalmettoBug October 13, 2008 at 5:52 pm

And the republican party officially jumps the shark.

tinybubbles October 13, 2008 at 5:57 pm

After reading this, I have told the kiddies they’re on their own for dinner tonight and sent my oldest to fetch my bottle of Cindys so I can take a handful of them and maybe forget about this.

So, so icky.

Itsjustme October 13, 2008 at 6:03 pm

[re=132263]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: Not on the charts, he isn’t.

Gawd, answered his own question as to “why does he roll smoke?”

Do you think he can get his “britches” all the way up under his pits?

Petticoatjunction October 13, 2008 at 6:08 pm

So revolting Hank Jr. likens slightly mustachioed Sarah “Newsweek tweezergate” Palin to an Idaho bear. Meanwhile true Opry legend Ralph Stanley did a pro-Obama radio ad now resounding through the hollers of Appalachia. So who has more Country Cred? We do!

monty October 13, 2008 at 6:13 pm

He has to wear the beard cuz he got drunk and fell of a mountain and broke his face, i dont know whats up with the 10 gallon hat tho

lawrenceofthedesert October 13, 2008 at 6:48 pm

Looks like Bocephus is up to about a fifth of Just For Men a day.

natteringnaybob October 13, 2008 at 6:59 pm

Great. Another ‘Junior’ fuckup.

rocktonsammy October 13, 2008 at 7:03 pm

Hank in the tank with skank

justshocking October 13, 2008 at 7:26 pm

Dammit. “family tradition” was the one hank jr song i actually liked, and he ruined it for me. i think this is the first song jr has written that didn’t mention his daddy.

Carrie_Okie October 13, 2008 at 7:27 pm

ITS(sounds like)ROACHFECES!!!!!!!111

Carrie_Okie October 13, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Oh and by the fucking way you turncoat assclown a/k/a Bo-CREEPUS

http://www.lyrics007.com/Hank%20Williams,%20Jr.%20Lyrics/I‘ve%20Been%20Down%20Lyrics.html

(Down on the religious kooks and old man Reagan he was, like before become a total bottom for the Fascist Homosexxyull Agenda)

“Reaganomics and plastic people makin’ good luck hard to find.”
-
“Well the preacher man’s a talkin on the TV
He’s beggin for my only dime,
I’d take another shot of whiskey
If I thought it’d get him of my mind.”
-
Jibe that bullshit, fake cowpoker!

Cuthbert J Twillie October 13, 2008 at 8:29 pm

Et tu, Bocephus?

rocktonsammy October 13, 2008 at 9:11 pm

[re=132258]lazyb[/re]:

His hat is Pleather.

S.Luggo October 13, 2008 at 9:19 pm

The photo: a fat bearded guy steroidally bulked up and wearing a tight shirt? Is this what the gay homo fellas mean by a “bear”? Just asking, don’t cha know. True.

1ofUS October 13, 2008 at 9:44 pm

You cunt face it, kannuck. Your mama bear has you forsook.

Cape Clod October 13, 2008 at 10:26 pm

[re=132243]ManchuCandidate[/re]: His dad was an artist. He’s a graphic designer.

S.Luggo October 13, 2008 at 10:54 pm

[re=132556]1ofUS[/re]: Ciao. Never let your beer goggles slip.

llyn October 13, 2008 at 11:09 pm

[re=132538]rocktonsammy[/re]: Most damning comment in the whole thread.

muleskinner October 13, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Larry Craig favors protecting both bears and jocks.

Harold_Ignoramis October 14, 2008 at 12:23 am

[re=132226]Sussemilch[/re]:

That is the fuckin’ funniest thing I’ve read all day. “Are you ready for some Palin? A motherfuckin party!!!”

CooterMarie October 14, 2008 at 3:19 am

[re=132300]obfuscator[/re]:
Yes, I completely agree about his choice in sweaters, it’s appalling. Clearly that sweater is white, and we are well over a month after Labor Day. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with him?

Sabre_Justice October 14, 2008 at 4:50 am

…America, I love you.

villageatrois October 14, 2008 at 5:52 am

Stop and think it over
Put yer’sef in my unique position
With all my sin
If McCain don’t win
I’m gonna face extradition.

accidental_tourist October 14, 2008 at 6:37 am

If a kindly old black man by the name of Tee Tot hadn’t taken the time and patience to teach Hank Sr. to pick, there wouldn’t be a cheap Jr. imitation singing at a Palin rally. So suck on that awhile, Sarah.

It all reminds me of rednecks on Thanksgiving. They get all riled up talking about how the blacks are ruining this country and the poor hard-working white just doesn’t stand a chance anymore. Then they retire their lard asses to the couch where the highlight of their lives is a black man running a football.

I have a country song of my own – “Stop the world, I wanna get off.”

blader October 14, 2008 at 8:51 am

[re=132228]Serolf Divad[/re]:

My Legion ball coach…the one who taught me how to chew tobacco… was exactly like that, too.

Weird how that happens.

jinxykb October 14, 2008 at 11:36 am

[re=132221]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]:
Only if you have the ‘moobs’ to go with it.

tapupartforpres October 14, 2008 at 12:37 pm
tapupartforpres October 14, 2008 at 12:37 pm
tinybubbles October 14, 2008 at 12:42 pm

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/73098652-hank

My daughter did most of it (she’s four) – does she has a bad mom?

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