Wonkette
Each day across the nuttier parts of our great country, Grandpa John McCain and his circus geek, Sarah Palin, thrill the yokels with their tough talk against the terrorist, Barack Obama, who will soon be president of Terrorist America. But today there was no talk of the terrorist, in Virginia Beach. Only the mindless worship of these restroom icons!
Mike McNarney of Norfolk stopped by the McCain-Palin rally in Virginia Beach, where he took this picture of Sarah and Walnuts pledging their new-world-order loyalty to the United Nations stick figures of Satanic Alien Control.
Who is that on the left, “Bocephus” Randall Williams? High-school dropout Levi Johnston? Let’s go with high-school dropout Levi Johnston, the poor dumb kid who was doomed at birth, when his mom named him for half a pair of jeans, and then he “grew up” and impregnated one of Sarah Palin’s twenty children.
Thanks for the picture, Mike! [McNarney.com]
AH YOU READY FO’ SOME FOOTBALL?!
I kan haz subpoenaed Yahoo mail accountz?
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/10/13/palin_yahoo_emails_order/
It’s a touching moment when they lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Closeted Republican.
Bible Spices pantie lines are showing as well as WALNUTS!’ Depends lines.
God damn, I never tire or WALNUTS! Depends jokes.
Oh, crap. NSFS (Not Safe for Sanity)
http://www.mcnarney.com/mc/william/On_the_trail/Pages/McCain_Palin,_Oct._13.html#2
Way to pander with the ‘Skins jersey, Bocephus.
Tahm fer some toe-tapping pottie footsie…TEXAS STYLE!
Who has to poop?
And the crowd goes wild.
country first, right after pee break.
SayItWithWookies: Holy shit, now I’m going to have to kill this bottle of Walker Black just to pass out w/o nightmares.
SayItWithWookies: I see photos like that and I can’t help but think of H.G. Wells’ Morlocks…
Why is this the only story tagged ‘bathroom goblins’? Paging Senator Craig…
SayItWithWookies: The ghost of Abe Lincoln approves of your comment.
There’s not really anywhere else to throw this out…but Jon Stewart’s guest tonight was a fucking idiot and he was pretty openly just mocking her.
Kind of amusing.
SayItWithWookies: AHHHHHHHH MY EYES
SayItWithWookies: WIN.
What’s the matter, wouldn’t the Redskins give Hank Jr. a jersey with his own name on it? Also has someone told Hank Jr. that there are black men on that football team?
BTW: NYGiants getting ass kicked by Cleveland Browns in 4th Qtr. Weird year, indeed.
Kind of OT but Nate Silver has the funniest damn picture on 538.
http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/
SayItWithWookies: http://www.yukka.co.uk/TuPac-Airbrushed-T-Shirt-pr-16855.html
Listen up, youngsters! If you were 72, you’d know what he was praying for.
villageatrois: I don’t think the diaper changing stations in most restrooms are designed to support the weight of a 72 year old Maverick wearing a pair of soiled Depends.
LET US HOPE that the toilet will grace us. LET US HOPE that almighty toilet will damn the liberal godless heathens so that you, our master of toilets, will not clog for the chosen ones. May all toilets clog for Jihad doodie.
CrunchyKnee: President Beeblebrox: dilhavarti: (Throws up hands) I told you people….
That annoying Kathleen Parker person is on The Colbert Report. Blechy poo.
obfuscator: And Jerry Falwell’s, I hope.
Um, I think Kathleen Parker just said she was voting for Barry.
SayItWithWookies: No, according to Larry Flynt, Jerry Falwell’s “sin” of choice was incest, not homosexuality.
Gee, I miss the days when I too prayed to the porcelain gods…..
(could her it have been her ‘religious practices’ that forced our precious sarah to switch colleges so often)
SayItWithWookies: I was so close to writing something really funny. I had it all worked out, but I just had to take a second to follow your link. There’s a fat woman with a giant Sarah Palin on her body. What the fuck? Yeah, my brain is riddled with holes now.
Poor Levi. Has to pray to a toilet and he forgot to register to vote, so he cant vote for his future Mother in Law.
(according to Ben Smith)
This does not bode well for his sanity or happiness with Bristol.
Every time they have a little tiff, she will be all like, ‘you did not even bother to register to vote in time-its all your fault’ blah blah blah.
facehead: This is how I know the brownies are kicking in.
obfuscator: First, that was satire. Second, he’s got the pedosmile in every picture you can find.
This photo has obviously been edited. Normally McCain stands in a 5-gallon bucket during long rallies.
2druk2phluq: He warned us!!! MY EYES DAMN YOU WOOKIEZZZZ
For cry-yi, when McCain goes to the bathroom, does he drag Sarah, Todd, Cindy and a few of their spawn in there with him, too?
*holds envelope to forehead*
A washroom stall… and a McCain-Palin rally
*rips envelope*
Name two places that are frequented by middle-aged gay Republicans and are full of shit
As long as you tards stay the fuck away from the Eastern Sierra I give not two shits about the state of affairs in your lives.
You’ve all heard the McCain-Palin song by Hank Williams, right? It honestly made me fucking sick. It’s like a worst-of collection of Freeper comments was overlayed with a guitar melody.
I never want to hear anything from Hank Williams’ mouth again that does not involve rowdy friends and/or football readiness.
SayItWithWookies: I can’t come up with anything to beat “pedosmile”.
Srsly, after being pressured by Colbert, Kathleen Parker said that she wouldn’t vote for the candidate who “appeals to our lesser selves”, or some shit. She’s auditioning to be Peggy Noonan, Jr.
Also, she’s totally in the tank.
Hey, Bible Bitch. Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, and thou shalt not worship any other gods before the LORD thy GOD. You are so going to get smited, missy.
Okay, Re: praying to restroom signs: Some female has to say it!! I’m gonna vote for Anybody who will get more stalls!! in all the Women’s rooms!! Dammit, I’ve been known to go in the men’s while a friendly chick has held the door for me at restaurants, bars, etc. What is the deal???? All bathrooms must have been designed by men who hate women.
Oh, ps I hope I’m not banned; see earlier post thingy. If so, well, women Still need more toilets at any function!!!
Haven’t you ever had to REALLY REALLY PEE NOW? This is the common ground McPalin is tapping into. Promising easy access to Port a Johns to the masses of Joe Six Packs out there who really need to go. I think they may be onto something.
THEY HAVE FOUND HER.
http://media.tumblr.com/qUZ0jyiGPf0wtshiJaAxHIqTo1_500.jpg
mattbolt: Very nice.
Clearly, they are targeting the full bladder demographic.
obfuscator: “pedosmile” came from that “how to tell a pedophile” comment from yesterday that I thought you responded to and that I’m too lazy to look up just now. Wish I could take credit for it, but I can’t.
Oh, and I really think Kathleen is breaking her own heart over whether McCain is even worth supporting. She knows what’s true, but she can only be honest about it about half the time. Here’s a precious few minutes of her, Bay Buchanan and Michelle Laxalt — all Republicans — go at it over Palin and the ticket:
http://crooksandliars.com/nicole-belle/larry-king-live-republican-women-impl
Words: Old grrl power joke:
Finding a stall in a washroom is kind of like finding a man. Some of them are occupied already, some are too dirty to consider touching, and the rest are just handicapped.
mattbolt:
I bow to your wisdom!!! teehee!!
SayItWithWookies: I like how Laxalt argued in favor of Palin by admitting that the people in charge of running the GOP candidate’s campaign are sexist.
The last time I forced myself to watch Bay Buchanan on tv, she was lamenting the death of the Mittens campaign. That seems like a LONG time ago.
obfuscator: Bay and Pat Buchanan — now there’s a lost Eugene O’Neill play if anyone dares to write it down.
And Parker looks at Laxalt like “When did you think those were ever Republican values?”
For some reason, as soon as I saw this photo, that song by Riskay started playing in my head…
Why you comin home 5 in the mornin’
Somethin’s goin on, can I smell yo dick
Don’t play me like a fool, ’cause that ain’t cool
So wat u need to do is lemme smell yo dick
…and I have no idea why.
*vomiting*
I haven’t been so excited for “Terrorist America” since 9/10…
Kaathleen parker on Colbert: I see what you did there!
Colbert: O RLY?
Parker: YA, RLY!
“Are you Angels of the Lord?” asked Sister Sarah, as the shining apparitions appeared before her.
“No”,they replied, “We are but humble signposts, showing the direction you and that old fart’s campaign is heading”.
Back when I was in elementary school there was a girl - in the 8th grade at that time, 13 years old - who sent Hank Williams Jr. a picture of herself in her JV cheerleader uniform. He wrote her back and started picking her up every few months and taking her down to his condo in Panama City Beach (Florida, we lived about 40 miles from there). This went on for about four years. After graduation we ended up working summers at the same hotel and she told me all about it. Had pictures. True fact.
InsidiousTuna: No anal required? Not really very true to life is it? Plus the stripper/whore they ended up using has a resume/rap sheet a mile long. So much for Craig’s List.
I thought you might enjoy reading about the latest pair of investigations into Palin in Alaska, where it’s not just Sarah with her tit in a wringer. The implosion of Comet Palin continues.
http://www.adn.com/troopergate/story/555288.html
Add this: Walt Monegan, fired by Palin to start the “troopergate” fiasco, grows a super-sized set of stones and lays into the damage wrought to his reputation in a formal complaint to the Alaska Personnel Board: http://www.andrewhalcro.com/walt_monegan_fires_back
Sarah and her delusional accomplices will no doubt say, “See? I told you he’s a rogue!” (*hooker-style wink from Sarah*)
mattbolt: Carnak - I heart you!
Weeping Jesus: Sadly, nothing new will likely be released before the election to further sully her reputation. But one would hope that since she sullies herself daily in front of thousands of people, no additional commission reports will be necessary to convince the sane voters out there that she’s a psycho.
dkissam: Bocephus - Hillybilly for pedophile.
McGrumpus: Look, Sarah, I can see our campaign from here?
Bible Spice: Where, Mr. McCain’t?
McG: There, in the toilet.
or
Look, Sarah, I can see the future from here. It’s…in the toilet.
Your turn….
Remember Ken, according to the Denver Airport Oracles/Murals, the New World Order will be ushered in by Persian, Nazi, Alien Storm Troopers… but i can see how this could be the beginning.
SayItWithWookies: “the tomb of the unknown closeted Republican”???
OK, SayItWithWookies … you are the first person today to make me snort my coffee out my nose. My hot coffee. Most forcibly.
Ow.
God damn you.
VPL Alert!
Looks like on both of ‘em, but *really* on Sarah.
Levi says he didn’t register in time to vote? They ARE the true Americans, I concede.
Seriously, who the hell tucks in their football jersey?
SayItWithWookies: Fucking hell. That one needs to go into the Wonkette clip art archive, stat!
I think they are mesmerized by the sight of a defaced US flag that is supposed to be what they are pledging to. How the hell had Bill Ayres managed to get into a McCain’t-Pallid rally?!? Luckily for the McCain’t campaign, defacing the flag is Constitutionally protected under the First Amendment, which was written and passed by Bill Ayres and Mario Savio in 1968. Defacing (a lot like Botox) was upheld in Texas v. Johnson, 491 U.S. 397 (1989), and reaffirmed in U.S. v. Eichman, 496 U.S. 310 (1990).
Words:
If you’re banned for demanding more potties for women, I’m willing to go with you. Sisterhood has to mean something. I’m not as old as Walnuts but when I need to go, damn it, I need to go–and do it without being forced to miss the 8th. Inning because the damn line is so long.
WTF–We are totally off the topic. If we’re banned, maybe Words and I will have to start our own blog, Women for the Tank!
dkissam:
This story is as gross as it is believable.
No, they were trying to be respectful of the opposing viewpoint. Obviously they mistook the horrid smells from some sewage backup in the bathroom as a group of anti-deoderant liberals.
Did you know you can poop and register to vote? Sarah Silverman does! And she takes her bra off for you!
http://offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com/2008/10/sarah-silverman-says-you-can-poop-and.html
Baldeagle79: Two of the hallmarks of the successful commenter at “blogs” like this one are relevance and wit. But thanks for playing anyway.
Baldeagle79: And another thing…do you haz a sad because the Rethugricans’ finely oiled voter suppression machine isn’t going to work as well this year? Or because you only watched the first 1:30 of that vid and were mad because “Holywod librels” were kind of saying “don’t vote,” and you thought they stole your prime tactic for teh election? And because even after 8 years you don’t understand irony? Please. I hope you’re really some on sort of subtle reverse psychology humor trip, but if you were really a Rethugrican you’d be unable to make that work. Hmmmm.
And then fire shot down
From the sky in bolts
Like shining blades
Of a knife.
And it ripped
Right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon
And the earth.
And some Indian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole,
Pulled it round to our belly
To remind us of the price we pay.
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane,
To scatter us away,
In a flood of wind and rain,
And a sea of tidal waves,
To wash us all away,
And if we don’t behave
They’ll cut us down again
And we’ll be hopping round on one foot
And looking through one eye.
http://www.hillaryclintonforum.net/discussion/showthread.php?t=35605
hahahahah
Just so you know: Toby Keith is a Democrat. Yeah, he says it always comes as a big surprise to people. (Barry Switzer is major Democrat, too, but doesn’t sing–as far as I know.)
As for Reba and the rest, well, one for about 5,043 country singers ain’t bad.